Things are heating up so fast!
According to Us Weekly, Swift is on cloud nine right now:
[Image via Forty Seven/WENN.]
Talk about a problem everyone wishes they had!
The 43-year-old hunk isn't looking to trade it in for a smaller version or anything, but he admits that to being "annoyed" that his GIANT PENIS it's always the topic of conversation!
“Would you want people walking up to you and pointing at your d**k…? (editor's note: maybe) I can’t believe I’m still talking about this… The fact that I’m painted as this exhibitionist is a little annoying… It’s become a meme…Being someone who people want to photograph, you have to open yourself up to the positive and negative. It is what it is. If I get mad at it I’ll look like a douchebag. But it’s silly.”
We understand why Jonny Boy is fed up with the public's obsession with his huge-ass Hammaconda, and we'd hate for him to feel like he was just a piece of meat, but he goes commando so often that it's hard, pun intended, to focus on anything else!
We took physics in school and we're pretty sure Newton's Second Law of Boner-dynamics clearly states that no one can look at a picture of the Mad Men star without first glancing at his pants and checking for the outline of a bulging peen!!
If his moisture seeking man-missile were any more massive, it would be recognized by the United Nations! It's the eight wonder of the natural world!!!
Look, we're not gonna lie, we often daydream about wrapping his dangling dong around our wrist and checking the time, but that's not the extent of our interest! We're honestly curious about how a man even gets through the day with a baby-making bat that big!
Do his ham-boners make him light-headed? We have to assume that it takes like two-thirds of all the blood circulating in his veins to fill up his Ham-galia Jolie when it's fully engorged!
[Image via WENN.]