Calum McSwiggan is adamant that he's not faking his alleged attack.
"I went to the police and now apparently I'm a criminal."
However, the police have revealed that they have video
[Image via Calum McSwiggan/Instagram.]
This music-related conspiracy theory is even less likely than the Paul McCartney death rumor!
Yes, you read that correctly - no need to go to the department of corrections for your eyesight!
But why? What case could one prisoner have against the most successful musicians of today?
Richard is claiming that Jay and Bey have been working with law enforcement (CIA, FBI, and Homeland Security…seriously, no NSA? NSA would seem like a shoe in for this case) in a joint effort to purposefully spy on him via satellites in order to steal his lyrics.
Not only that, he also alleges that Kanye, RiRi, and Breezy conspired with him to get their hands on over 3,000 songs! Somehow we don't think RiRi and Breezy are conspiring with each other on anything!
However, if this were true, that would make Richard the greatest ghostwriter the world has ever seen!
To capture the disparate musical styles of Jay Z all the way to Rihanna would require a musicianship unseen since the days of Mozart.
3,000 songs? We knew you had a lot of time in prison, but that is quite prodigious. Like a whole karaoke book of songs, prodigious.