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AnnaLynne McCord Almost Committed Suicide! Actress Opens Up About Rape & Abuse That Almost Destroyed Her

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It's true what they say: celebrities really are just like the rest of us.

AnnaLynne McCord is a famous actress and model, but, like roughly 20% of all women in the United States, she is also a victim of rape.

The 27-year-old penned an essay in the July issue of Cosmopolitan which candidly describes not only her history of being physically and sexually abused, but also the lingering emotional pain and torment she's suffered through since.

It's genuinely one of the bravest and most inspired pieces we've ever read.

The 90210 star begins by describing her strict, religious upbringing and the corporal punishment she suffered through at the hands of her parents.

She admitted:

"My parents believed in strict 'discipline,' as they called it — I would call it abuse. The punishments were painful and ritualistic. We would have to bend over the bed, sometimes with our pants down, arms outstretched, and get spanked."

This stunted her emotional growth, though. It maligned her sexual appetite, and eventually made her feel ashamed of feelings that are actually quite natural.

She confessed:

"I was meeting lots of hot boys… I became sort of promiscuous but didn’t actually have sex. I’d get right there with the guy and then stop, thinking I’d go to hell. Then I’d go to church to cleanse myself. At the same time, I pushed men to be violent toward me. After all, as I had learned in my childhood, people who loved me hurt me. I would slap the guys, antagonize them, until I believed they wanted to hit me. My sexual relationships were dark and violently dramatic."

After that, AnnaLynne moved to LA to pursue acting. At the age of 18 she was raped by a "friend." In grippingly-awful detail, she explained:

"One night, a guy friend called. He said he needed a good night’s sleep for a meeting, as he’d been crashing on someone’s couch. I had known him for some time, so I said to come over and I set him up with a clean towel. We sat on the bed and talked for a while, then I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was inside me.

At first, I felt so disoriented and numb, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I wondered if I had done something to give him the wrong idea. I felt afraid of making him angry. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to offend him. I just wanted it to be over. My childhood had come back to haunt me again: Because of the physical abuse, I didn’t believe there were borders between other people’s bodies and my own. I didn’t believe I had a voice.

And then, suddenly, my thoughts took a practical turn: I could get an STD. I could get pregnant. I have a boyfriend. I said, 'Please, don’t!' He stopped and went in the bathroom and finished."

She described what happened next:

"I lay there and stared at the ceiling for the rest of the night, frozen. At dawn, I wrote a note to him and left. I sat outside in a car and waited for him to leave. When he did, I went back inside, took a shower, and pretended it hadn’t happened… I didn’t tell anyone other than asking a friend if I should worry about getting pregnant if a man pulled out during sex… I acted strong — fake strong. Over the next few months, I began to go dark… Then one night, I did go to a club with friends, and I saw him there. We made eye contact and I felt like throwing up. I turned and ran, sprinting into traffic."

From there things only got worse. AnnaLynne cut herself on a regular basis and even contemplated suicide. She explained:

"I lay on my bed in a hotel in Madrid for days, feeling increasingly alone and hopeless. I had pills and water in hand and thought seriously about killing myself. I didn’t fear death — it felt like a solution. When you’re in that mode, you don’t think suicide is a selfish thing to do. You think you’re doing everyone a favor… I got ready to swallow the pills and suddenly heard myself screaming, 'Stop!'"

Thankfully, after finding support through counseling and a strong network of friends, the actress eventually began to heal. Now she travels across the globe and helps other victims of sexual abuse.

In an episode of 90210, however, her wounds were reopened when the character she played on the show suffered through experiences strikingly similar to her AnnaLynne's own. She said:

"The rape plot on 90210 came around this time. When I, as Naomi, fought with my unsupportive friend, she said the rapist had claimed I was in love with him. It was a little too close to real life, sparking my meltdown. But the story line gave me an opportunity. I talked to viewers about rape, and I heard from young women across the country."

AnnaLynne ends her beautiful essay with these wise word. She offers:

"I have my message for women and girls: You have a voice. Don’t put yourself in a box. Don’t let the polite lies of society silence you. Honestly, I would endure everything all over again — it has led me to my own revolution."

Wow. What a moving tale.

We're grateful AnnaLynne shared her emotional journey; hopefully her bravery will help and inspire others.

[Image via WENN.]

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6 comments to “AnnaLynne McCord Almost Committed Suicide! Actress Opens Up About Rape & Abuse That Almost Destroyed Her”

  1. Marie says – reply to this


    1

    Oh god! That shows us that we never know people and we shouldn't judge! I'm glad she's strong now!

  2. eman says – reply to this


    2

    omg …

  3. Otek says – reply to this


    3

    "Celebrities really are just like the rest of us…" ? So "The rest of us" are just generally getting raped and trying to commit suicide right? Like wow, celebrities relating to us..through rape and suicide…classy Perez. Real classy.

  4. @v@ says – reply to this


    4

    Re: Marie – Agree. Parents often only know how to raise their kids the way they were raised. That spare the rod and spoil the child thing was very prevalent. She'll probably come to forgive and love her parents, but the rape was crummy rape. Young vulnerability gives off a vibe and predators sense that. Glad she's done well, and hindsight will never let that happen again. Most would have done a few things differently. She could still charge Mr.Turd if there's no limit on time elapse. Hope she stays strong and focuses on the beauty in life.

  5. Kerry Louise says – reply to this


    5

    What a pathetic attempt at publicity. She has been running around Vegas in barely there bikinis for almost a decade.

  6. Carolyn says – reply to this


    6

    Re: Otek – My thoughts exactly. That statement totally minimizes her situation…and is just f***ed up. Sometimes I wonder if Perez is 1-not writing his own posts or 2- is losing it. Too many bad headlines and nonsensical posts.