Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
So it turns out Gwyneth Paltrow has been talking out of her butt for YEARS!
Though public backlash at the star has been more gradual, we've found quotes that might make your blood boil going back to 2001!
The GOOP goddess has something to offer on subjects ranging from wealth to love, parenting to career- all just terrible. She's like a reverse Poor Richard! A Rich Dick!
"Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don't have that many good years left in me."
- November 2001
"I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup."
- August 2005
"I am who I am. I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year."
- March 2009
"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can."
- July 2011
"I feel a sisterhood emerging around me. I'm less threatening now that I'm 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar. There's a sense of love and support."
- March 2013
"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
- March 2014
"We have always conducted our relationship privately and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner."
- March 2014
"You come across [Internet comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it. My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."
- May 2014
[Images via Pacific Coast News.]