That, Perezcious readers, is how we ended up in possession of this penis pic (above)!
[Image via Usher/Snapchat.]
Wait, we thought crime DOESN'T pay. This is absurd!
A chef from Queens, New York, Kevin Jarman, just walked away…uh, limped away with $510,000 for breaking his ankle…while shoplifting!
Oh, the poor thing! Wait, what?
That's right, apparently Kevin fell down after being arrested for stealing a bag of shrimp and broke his ankle, causing officers to laugh at the site.
Ah, shrimp! This small seafood could turn anyone to a life of crime!
Also, falling over IS routinely hilarious. Just ask YouTube!
Kevin claims that a sergeant caused his ankle break when the cop put on the cuffs while trapping Jarman's foot with his own. Speaking of YouTube? Apparently the officers threatened to post a video of it!
The pull then caused Kevin to take a tumble, and break his ankle!
Well, that is the most expensive ankle break we've ever heard of.