The athlete begins by offering encouraging words to transgender youth everywhere, saying:
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The Catholic Church is FINALLY dealing with the issue that has been plaguing the faith for decades now. We’re of course talking about family members kissing each other during mass.
Oh, did you think we we’re going to say something else?
Nope, Pope Francis and his homies at The Vatican have been busy preparing a new set of guidelines for parishioners to follow that includes BANNING kissing during the sign of peace!
For those Perezcious readers out there who aren’t down with JC or who aren’t Catholic, the sign of peace is a brief moment during church when people shake hands with those around them. But over the years, some people have also been showing their love for one another by exchanging hugs and kisses.
No big deal, right? It’s not like anyone’s getting to third base in the middle of church.
Cardinal Antonio Canizares Llovera, the leader of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, is wagging his finger this week though, saying those small pecks are a distraction and they WON’T be allowed any longer!
Bishops around the world will be instructed to implement strict new guidelines that ask people to stick to a hand shake and ONLY a hand shake, no matter what your relation is to those sitting around you!
No chest bumping.
Ok, that last one wasn’t outlined in the new rules but we’re sure they’re against chest bumping too.
The Vatican isn’t sucking the fun out of things for just those in the pews either! They’re also requesting that priests not leave the altar to greet parishioners at any point of the service and to stop offering their congratulations or condolences during the sign of the peace at weddings or funerals!
It sounds like one Spanish bishop, Jose Maria Gil Tamayo is against these new anti-kissing decrees though. He said of the new rules:
"If the faithful do not understand and do not show, in their ritual gestures, the true significance of the rite of peace, they are weakened in the Christian concept of peace, and their fruitful participation in the Eucharist is negatively affected.”
How is kissing your mom or hugging your brother bad for teaching people about God and Jesus and being a better person?
No surprise, Pope Benedict XVI is also in favor of forbidding kisses from Catholic masses.
So, this Sunday, leave some room for the holy spirit in between you and your loved ones and show your family members how much you care about them…
By silently shaking their hand.
[Image via WENN.]