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Joan Rivers Requested All These Things For Her Funeral — And It's Just As Wonderfully Outrageous As You'd Expect!

| Filed under: R.I.P.Joan RiversBookz

joan rivers funeral requests book i hate everyone starting with me

For Joan Rivers, no topic was off-limits– even her own passing.

In her book I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me, the legendary comedian explained in hilarious detail exactly what she wanted for her funeral.

Here is how Joan wrote that she wants to be honored:

"When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything's in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…. I want Craft Services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene!

I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don't want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing Mr. Lonely.

I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé's."

Pure Joan.

[Image via BauerGriffinOnline.]

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14 comments to “Joan Rivers Requested All These Things For Her Funeral — And It's Just As Wonderfully Outrageous As You'd Expect!”

  1. Niki Nickey says – reply to this


    as a loner, who had her shows as a companion I loved her!! what a woman… she will be miss!

  2. Meowtain says – reply to this


    What a legend…
    I always see a funeral as a way to celebrate someones life, rather than mourn their death.

  3. Cathy says – reply to this


    She'll be greatly missed.. RIP Joan Rivers!

  4. gg says – reply to this


    Too funny!

  5. a loving fan says – reply to this


    joan will surely be missed by me. I used to not like her but I started to watch her show with Melissa @ cooper . she really is a or was a kind hearted person.

  6. seriously says – reply to this


    Seriously.. Only air headed morons with no real view on the world would miss this woman. She was a terrible human, The world will remember her as a fake no one with an incredible lack of self esteem. Her zionist views belong in 1930 and i'm glad she's dead.

  7. simon says – reply to this


    She was a total bitch, and a legend. She will be missed by lots.

    81 though? Good for her, I hope to live that long and be as coherent as her.

  8. brett Fish anderson says – reply to this


    wow. all i wanted was a boob cake.

  9. Nancy says – reply to this


    Will miss Joan…..she visited my home every Friday on Fashion Police…..I can't believe hat she is gone and the world will miss her humor and the real person whe was.

  10. Davidolsen2008 says – reply to this


    Re: seriously – yeah oh so terrible for donating to charity and standing up for groups of pple, and making the world laugh.. seriously, is the airhead

  11. B. J. says – reply to this


    Re: simon – You should be ashamed of your self.

  12. john disxon says – reply to this


    Re: simon – She and her zionist views will be remembered and missed for years. You are already a nobody who has already been forgotten.

  13. 13

    hey…where did my comment go? this sucks!

  14. 14

    Loved you Joan !! you were the best always made me laugh you will be greatly missed ! and I'm sure Melissa followed your requests to the "T"