No ifs, ands, or BUTTS about it!
However, its most eyebrow-raising article is about the dos and don'ts of anal sex!
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[Image via WENN.]
***OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING***
We're about to talk about episode five of Season 5 of The Walking Dead, so if you HAVEN'T watched yet…
Man, was that an intense episode or WHAT?
Well, it wasn't exactly a Carol/Daryl episode (yay, next week!) but it wasn't the borefest that was Beth ALMOST escaping from that deranged hospital last week!
In this episode, aptly titled Self Help, we find our heroes (lolz) driving to D.C. in the church bus when all goes wrong…
Glenn, Maggie, Abraham, Eugene, Tara, and Rosita are forced out of the bus when it crashes on the side of the road, which we later find out is all because of Eugene.
The group fights some walkers, Eugene steps it up and actually kills one to save Tara. WOOP WOOP!
We're then treated to a view of Abraham serving up a can of whoop ass, LITERALLY, when we see that it's a flashback to what happened before he linked up with Eugene and Rosita! During The Talking Dead aftershow, actor Michael Cudlitz revealed that the violent scene was lifted directly from the comic books, and the man Abraham is face-smashing raped his wife and daughter.
Flash-foward to the group finding shelter in a library, they talk, they drink, they eat, and Eugene creepily watched Rosita and Abraham have sex from the Self Help section!
Moving on from that awkwardness, the group starts looking for a sweet new ride when they find a fire truck. AWESOME!
Except it was keeping walkers inside of a building — not awesome!
When it looks like they're about to be overrun, the group's Cowardly Lion has found his courage (maybe it was seeing all that sex) and decimates the zombies with the hose on top of the fire truck! Gross!
Flashback AGAIN, and we see that Abraham's antics scared away his family enough to face the walkers alone and warn him not to follow.
Poor guy! He was just protecting his family!
Well, the group finally got the firetruck working and then they hit a snag with like a BAJILLION walkers in the road up ahead.
So they stop and talk and there's a lot of yelling and then the bomb of a reveal is dropped.
EUGENE IS NOT A SCIENTIST!
He's been lying this whole time! SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAT!
This, of course, pisses Abraham off and he knocks the shit out of Eugene.
Why was Abraham so infuriated with Eugene for lying?
Well, uh thanks to that ending flashback, it's because Eugene was the one that pretty much saved Abraham from blowing his brains out!
DAMN! We'd feel betrayed too!
What did YOU think of this week's episode? Are you excited for the return of Carol and Daryl next week???
Tags: abraham, episode, episode five, eugene, glenn, maggie, season five, self help, spoilers, the walking dead, the walking dead gif recap, the walking dead recap, the walking dead season five episode five, tv news