Obligatory ***SPOILER*** warning: If you didn't watch Wednesday night's episode of American Horror Story then STOP reading right now!
We might have lost an episode of AHS last week for Thanksgiving, but Ryan Murphy and his crew were back Wednesday night to bring out an extra bloody episode of Freakshow.
This is the first episode in a long while that we didn't mind. Mostly because of the ridiculous line, "Death would be preferable to Tampa."
But anyway, we're all still addicted, so let's get straight to that recap!
The episode began with the freaks trying to find Ma Petite (Jyoti Amge), whom was killed by Dell (Michael Chiklis) in the last episode. Elsa (Jessica Lange) took finding her dress very harshly, but Ethel (Kathy Bates) thought it was all an act and that she was actually the one who killed Ma Petite.
Ethel thought she had the whole story solved, so when Elsa tried to leave to get Dot and Bette (Sarah Paulson) to prove her innocence, Ethel shot Elsa in the leg to protect the twins, and she finally learned about Elsa's "freakish" nature for the first time!
Then, upon learning that Elsa had been lying to her for her entire life, Ethel prepared to shoot Elsa for real but Elsa got to her first and threw a knife straight into her eye!
Maggie (Emma Roberts), Stanley (Denis O'Hare), and Elsa covered up the murder, and lead the rest of the freaks in breaking the news to Jimmy (Evan Peters) that his mom committed suicide in a car accident.
Back at Darling Mansion, Regina (Gabourey Sidibe) visited Gloria (Frances Conroy) and Dandy (Finn Wittrock) to look for her mom Dora (Patti LaBelle), whom Dandy killed a few episodes back.
The freaks then had a funeral for Ethel, and we got to see that Penny (Grace Gummer) and Paul (Mat Fraser) are both healthy. Plus, the women actually got together to get back at Penny's father for tattooing her entire face.
Meanwhile, Dandy promised to go to therapy as long as Gloria killed Regina, while at Penny's father's house, Eve (Erika Ervin), Suzi (Rose Siggins), Desiree (Angela Bassett), and Penny knocked her dad out.
At the camp, Elsa introduced a fat lady named Barbara (Chrissy Metz) to the group to replace Ethel.
And the girls got revenge on Penny's dad by tar and feathering him!
There was then even more of a bloodbath when Dandy shot Gloria square in the head after finding out that it was her fault that he is screwed up.
The episode then ended with Dandy bathing in the blood of his own mother, presumably to gain whatever powers she had.
Even though so much happened, this was still a pretty boring episode of television.
There's only five episodes left of the season, and still a whole bunch of living characters, so we expect some more major deaths in the upcoming weeks.
We like that the show was brave enough to kill both Kathy Bates and Frances Conroy in one sitting, but they seriously could have spiced it up, or, we don't know, actually made the show somewhat of a horror story.
Anyway, make sure to tune back in next week when we do this all again!
Tags: ahs, american horror story, emma roberts, evan peters, frea, fx, gabourey sidibe, gifs, jessica lange, ryan murphy