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A Man Painted This Naked Portrait Of Kim Kardashian With His Penis!

| Filed under: Kim KardashianButtz

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You may think this is a reasonably good painting of Kim Kardashian's famous Paper magazine cover. But when you find out what the artist was working with, you'll be way more impressed!

And also a little grossed out. And confused.

Danish artist Uwe Max Jensen painted this with his penis.

[ Photos: The Internet Reacts To Kim Kardashian's Bare ASSets With The HIGHlarious Memes! ]

Let us be clear. The man dipped his peen in paint and moved it along the canvas until there was a painting of Kim Kardashian's naked butt on it.

Obvious first question: how hard was it? LOLz!

But srsly, how crazy is this? We mean, they make brushes with stiff bristles, right? Apparently Uwe prefers his God-given tools. He says:

"I have my penis in one hand and the canvas in the other. I have a very skilled penis, art-wise."

We've heard of finger painting, but this is ridiculous!

Until this, Uwe was primarily known for his performance art in which he decapitated a statue of The Little Mermaid.

[ Photos: The Little Mermaid's Ursula Parodies The Kim Kardashian Paper ​Cover ]

We guess he's just the kind of guy who gets a crazy idea in his head and runs off half-cocked.

If you're REALLY curious, Uwe posted some very NSFW photos of the painting process on his blog HERE. But we warn you, they're not for the faint of crotch.

[Image via Uwe Max Jensen/Facebook.]

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14 comments to “A Man Painted This Naked Portrait Of Kim Kardashian With His Penis!”

  1. MichJB says – reply to this


    Wait - I have a case of projectile diarrhea - I'll be able to shot a stream of shit onto a canvas and it'll be a close match of Dimmi too.

  2. 2

    Kimmy and Kangay are so screwed up they would most likely contact this guy to buy the painting and hang it in their bedroom. Sick.

  3. ms trudy says – reply to this


    I don't believe it. he couldn't get those finer strokes with his dick, unless of course he has a needle dick. I say it's a lie.

  4. harleymutt says – reply to this


    The level of stupidity in this country just went up again, congratulation dickhead.

  5. PUERCOS EROTICOS says – reply to this


    I don't believe it. Looks more like an original SHIT-STAIN to me.

  6. gaymanprolapse says – reply to this


    You should see what I can do with a grapefruit and my ass..

  7. 7

    Re: harleymutt – Hey, don't pin this one on the States. This guy's Danish! (unless you're commenting from Denmark, then, yeah, you might be right).

  8. @v@ says – reply to this


    Just when you think you've seen everything.

  9. Plastic Surgery says – reply to this


    He captured the gorgeousness of the aging porn star's face.

  10. nia says – reply to this


    One word"eww"

  11. nia says – reply to this


    Omg rofl

  12. freya says – reply to this


    Those white shadings and gloss in her ass and back is not paint if you know what I mean. I wouldn't be surprise if this guy is not also jerking off while he paint Kim portrait. It's creepy actually

  13. Spray On says – reply to this


    He didn't use paint for the white highlights.

  14. Ingrid Rosenmeier says – reply to this


    Re: goldenyearsgal
    They would have to contact me, since I own it, and it's in MY bedroom..