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Transgender Teen Commits Suicide & Pens A Heartbreaking Note Urging The World To Change

| Filed under: Gay Gay GayR.I.P.Sad SadViral: NewsTransgenderLGBT

leelah alcorn commits suicide leaves heartbreaking note

We're at a loss for words right now. Our hearts are completely broken by this news.

17-year-old transgender teen Leelah Alcorn, also known as Joshua Alcorn, was killed after being struck by a tractor-trailer on a highway in Ohio around 2:30 a.m.

The death, however, was NOT accidental.

Leelah took her own life and detailed exactly why she was killing herself in a lengthy and heart-shattering suicide note posted to her tumblr page.

[ Related: Salvation Army Documents Show LGBTQ Discrimination ]

After explaining to her followers why exactly they were seeing the note, she revealed she took her own life because she was never accepted for being transgender.

Especially from her family.

Some of the more gut-wrenching parts of her note are as follows:

"When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn't make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don't tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don't ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won't do anything but make them hate them self. That's exactly what it did to me….

When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn't receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a "fuck you" attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that's obviously not what I wanted…

I have decided I've had enough. I'm never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I'm never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I'm never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I'm never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I'm never going to find a man who loves me. I'm never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There's no winning…

That's the gist of it, that's why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that's not a good enough reason for you, it's good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don't give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren't treated the way I was, they're treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights.

Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say "that's fucked up" and fix it. Fix society. Please."

Leelah shall not be forgotten. Her life will NOT be in vain.

To read Leelah's sad and eye-opening note in full, CLICK HERE.

If you or someone you know is on the verge of committing suicide, please urge them to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-(800)-273-8255 or visit their website HERE.

[Image via Leelah's Tumblr.]

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34 comments to “Transgender Teen Commits Suicide & Pens A Heartbreaking Note Urging The World To Change”



  1. 1

    Start working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life.

    This is what I do,,,,,,

    >>>>>>>>>> ­w­w­w­.­J­­o­­b­s-S­i­t­e­­s­­.­­c­­o­­m

  2. Britney says – reply to this


    2

    You need to start using the proper language when referring to suicide. It is not 'committed suicide'. when you use that term YOU are implying that what the person did is wrong or criminal. YOU need to change your language. it should be 'died by suicide.

  3. ms trudy says – reply to this


    3

    her parents should kill themselves. shame on them, she was their child. WAS being the buzz word. shame shame shame…..

  4. JB says – reply to this


    4

    First of all this kid was sick. Anyone who kills themselves like this is sick. Second, you cannot change your gender, period. We don't have the medical technology to do so.

    And finally, shame on this person for making someone else kill them.

    My heart goes out to the driver of the tractor trailer,

  5. JB says – reply to this


    5

    Re: Britney

    Ahhhh, killing yourself or, trying to kill yourself is wrong. It's against the law, and the most wrong thing anyone could ever do. And yes, it is criminal.

  6. Christine says – reply to this


    6

    I read her whole suicide note and it's heartbreaking. I don't understand why you edited the statement and didn't post the entire thing. As a straight woman, I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to feel as though you're trapped in a body you're not meant to be in and to have the people who are supposed to love you condemn you for who you are.

  7. fid says – reply to this


    7

    I'm sorry this kid couldn't wait the 2 years to make the transition, I guess patience is not something most kids have. People have done it for decades before and people will continue to do it after. We can't vilify the parents because perhaps their perception was different. — Anyways, I feel badly for the kid, I feel badly for the parents (who were basically told that they were the reason their child is dead) and I feel badly for the people who had to witness it that had nothing to do with it. I really dislike when people decide to take their lives by throwing themselves into traffic, trains, off buildings etc. You've just altered the lives of other people by doing that…and perhaps that is the point, which I find to be a selfish act.

  8. bnietzsche says – reply to this


    8

    R.I.P. Leelah

  9. MichJB says – reply to this


    9

    As sad as I am from this young person killing themselves, I have to wonder how realistic her expectations were for her change? Its not something that happens overnight, She had already been through the years of trying to understand and come to grips with her sexuality. She experienced the negative attitudes from family that couldn’t understand her feelings or decisions. She still had many years of medications, surgeries, psychiatric and support groups to help her through her transition. Did she reach out to those people for help first?
    I also am so sad that she used someone else to kill herself. The truck driver’s life is forever changed because this person selfishly decided to step in front of his truck.

  10. Ratto says – reply to this


    10

    Re: Andy5968 – fuck you and fuck your mother.

  11. Alex says – reply to this


    11

    My Heart, Prayers goes out to Leelah,her Family and Friends. But! Taking the Cowardly way out of Life cannot be Respected! I am all for Equal Rights to All Humanity!

  12. Cathy White says – reply to this


    12

    Perez, I have never commented on your site before, but the fact that you want people to click on the link to read a suicide note mean you are profiting off of this poor child's death. That, to me, is the lowest form of scum. Don't you make enough money?

  13. MichJB says – reply to this


    13

    Re: Cathy White – Face it, Perez is a social leech and makes his livelihood on the backs of other peoples misfortunes. Of course we are just as bad - we come here and put money in squarehead's pocket..

  14. Vivi says – reply to this


    14

    Re: JB – You are sick…

  15. Vivi says – reply to this


    15

    Re: fid – its not that she couldn't wait…it's how different things would be…its harder to fully transition when you are already a man. She would have a manly voice at 18…you can't reverse puberty… Hormones can stop it but not reverse it…so her face would have been manly and she didn't wanna look like a drag queen. So its not just about patience.

  16. Sarah says – reply to this


    16

    This breaks my heart



  17. 17

    Lᴀsᴛ ᴍᴏɴᴅᴀʏ I ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ Lᴏᴛᴜs Cᴀʀʟᴛᴏɴ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ $5190 ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴏɴᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ-ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴛᴇɴ-ᴋ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴍᴜɴᴛʜ . ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ-ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴊᴏʙ I'ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴᴇ . I ʙᴇɢᴀɴ ᴛʜɪs ɴɪɴᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs/ᴀɢᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴍɪɴɪᴍᴜᴍ $74 ᴘᴇʀ/ʜʀ . sᴇᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴀɢᴇ
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  18. Valerie says – reply to this


    18

    Let's not forget the fact that the truck driver will have to live with this as well for the rest of his life. SMH

  19. J says – reply to this


    19

    Re: bnietzsche – She wrote her parents isolated her from the whole world for 5 months just because they were embarrassed by her



  20. 20

    Re: Britney – Committing suicide IS a crime.



  21. 21

    So someone whose life was supposedly ruined by the parents words went and traumatized the drive of a semi for her own selfish desires? Why should the world have treated her differently if she had no problem hurting someone else?

  22. LOL says – reply to this


    22

    Re: Britney – Actually, what (s)he did is criminal.

  23. JT says – reply to this


    23

    Kids like this need to be identified early on so it's more likely they can be straightened out and turned into more productive members of our society. These whining transgenders are a waste of time and accommodating them is more directly a waste of valuable taxpayer dollars and resources.

  24. kat & kit says – reply to this


    24

    It's funny what you say because, "I have committed suicide", "I came back from death", and yet, I've never been judged in court…
    It seems that even in our day, Law is still poorly applied, I guess..

    I've left one part of me in hell. My blessed innocence!

  25. Aussie says – reply to this


    25

    Shame on those parents. You should love your children unconditionally. I hope the gilt of her suicide stays with you for the rest of your lives. You deserve it.



  26. 26

    What a terribly selfish thing to do - did this person ever think how the truck driver might feel? No jhust being selfish, me me me.

  27. tury says – reply to this


    27

    Re: Britney – That is because what HE did was selfish. If you're going to kill yourself there is no need to hurt someone else in the process.

  28. namers says – reply to this


    28

    So sad that misguided zealots make the world so difficult for those just wanting to be themselves.

  29. shayla says – reply to this


    29

    Any fuck you suicide note means it was done to punish others, not end her pain. She effectively now traumatized her brothers and sisters. She passed that "gift" of suicide onto them as well. She forever traumatized that poor truck driver. Her parents took her to therapy. She did not get the answers she wanted. So she killed herself. And forever changed the lives of her siblings, parents, friends and an innocent truck driver.

  30. AngelEyes says – reply to this


    30

    its sad to hear this story. only if he called a help line. suicide is a sin, no heaven. even if the person is sick in the head when they took their lives, god says suicide is a sin. suicide is never the answer. always call a help line. look up on the internet for emotional, depressed council's that help people in their time of need. taking your life leads to no where but pain for the family and friends. be yourself… love yourself… be proud of yourself…

  31. emmett says – reply to this


    31

    Re: Andy5968 – ugh don't be a piece of shit who comments their god damn spam on an ARTICLE ABOUT A TRANSGENDER TEEN KILLING HERSELF. STOP.

  32. Tomya says – reply to this


    32

    OMG SHE KILLED HER-SELF THIS REALLY SAD

  33. GodIsBetterThanUthink says – reply to this


    33

    Re: AngelEyes – After my suicide, (when I knew I was death!) I was and still conscious, God even gave me one last chance to repent.
    And there even, I fucked up!
    I was going to hell for sure (unbearable terror and that horrible suffocation feeling). I won't say more for fear of helping those who do not deserve.
    But be aware I was saved during a final heartfelt cry toward Jesus.

  34. GodIsBetterThanUthink says – reply to this


    34

    Re: AngelEyes – "I was still conscious,"