Did you quit watching True Detective Season 2 because of how bleak and slow-paced it was?
Did you never really watch but hate not having any idea what your coworkers were complaining about around the water cooler?
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Whatever reason you didn't tune in to the show or 90-minute finale, we have a quick guide that will allow you to get all the memes, all the angst, and none of the confusion!
Check out the [SPOILER ALERT] recap of Omega Station (below):
The mystery of who killed city planner Ben Caspere was at the heart of the season.
And the big answer is…
The detectives talked to him on a movie set for about 15 seconds in episode 3.
His name was Leonard, and he killed Caspere out of revenge for his parents' murder and his sister being sold into prostitution when they were just children.
It turns out Caspere wasn't the friendliest of ghosts. In fact, he was in league with the show's real villains, and his murder agitated a ton of conspirators that were happier with their 1992 murder of Leonard's parents — and subsequent wrongdoings — staying covered up.
So crooked cops Burris and Holloway — now a Lieutenant and a Police Chief — put their worst man, Ray Velcoro (Colin Farrell) on it.
Presumably the other higher ups involved in their criminal activities — which included the State Attorney and the Mayor of Vinci — made sure that screw-ups Ani Bezzerides (Rachel McAdams) and Paul Woodrugh (Taylor Kitsch) were the other cops working the murder.
That way, no one would dig up anything embarrassing.
Meanwhile, gangster-going-legit Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn) got involved in the investigation because Caspere happened to have $5 mil of his money when he died.
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Without the money, Frank got shut out of a huge land deal, then his right-hand man Blake betrayed him, helping Russian gangster Osip to take his place.
In the penultimate episode, Burris lured the closeted Paul to his death by blackmailing him with pics revealing his sexuality.
In the finale, Ray and Ani finally hooked up — and apparently fell madly in love. Their heart-to-heart was actually pretty sweet.
And they finally identified the killer, though they were a day late and a dollar short to clear their own names as the conspirators framed them for murder.
Then Ray and his friend Frank took care of business, taking out Osip and his gang, as well as some of their business partners and leaving with their $12 million!
Unfortunately, both men's pasts caught up with them.
Frank got abducted by some drug cartel members he inadvertently cheated. They stabbed him in the desert and left him to walk through his memories until he finally collapsed dead.
It was a beautifully sad scene, but not one we didn't see coming from a mile off. With all the other foreshadowing, he may as well have said he was two days from retirement.
Ray on the other hand decided to try to see his son (who turned out to really be his son after all!) one last time before sailing off into the sunset with Ani. It cost him everything, as the crooked cops spotted him.
Burris chased him into the woods, and — as his crazy Conway Twitty dream from episode 3 predicted — shot him to pieces.
Ani and Frank's wife Jordan (the amazing Kelly Reilly) were the only survivors — well, them and Ani's newborn son Ray Jr.
Wow, he and Ani got preggers in just one night?? He really was Bullseye!
And so the show ended with most of the heroes dead, most of the bad guys getting away with it, and one more song by that depressing guitar girl in the bar.
A truly bleak end to a bleak season.
Man we hope True Detective season 3 has more laughs!
What did YOU think of Season 2??
[Image via HBO.]
Tags: colin farrell, kelly reilly, rachel mcadams, season 2, taylor kitsch, true detective, tv news, vince vaughn