Sex, drugs, and mattress monsters! These are just a few reasons why we're obsessed with American Horror Story: Hotel!
The fifth season of Ryan Murphy's horror anthology series made its debut last night, and it provided tons of disturbing WTF moments!
Related: Ryan Offers Lady Gaga A Role In Season 6 Of AHS
If you missed the brutal premiere, we have the five scariest scenes that tease us of the horror that's to come at Hotel Cortez!
AHS didn't waste time getting to its first scare! The episode opens with two Swedish tourists who check in to their hotel. After smelling something strange in their room, they cut open their mattress (looks like they're not getting their deposit back!) only to find a hairless, screaming man stuffed inside! AHHHH-lopecia!
Deep Inside Of You
Across town in El Lay, Wes Bentley's character Det. John Lowe examines a particularly horrendous crime, finding a couple brutally murdered in a bed! The man's tongue and eyeballs are gouged out and the woman has been impaled — also, the man was given potency drugs and was superglued inside the woman!
Thanks to photographic evidence on display, the detective realizes that the murdered pair was having an affair unbeknownst to their spouses — but it looks like someone else found out!
Love Me Like You Shoot
We meet Max Greenfield's Hollywood junkie character, who checks in to the Hotel Cortez looking like he walked out of a Cyndi Lauper music video! After he shoots up some heroin, his trip gets a bit creepy!
A creature that looked something like a mummy decked out in plastic wrap begins raping him with some sort of drill bit tool! But the nightmare ends once he gives in to Sarah Paulson's character Hypodermic Sally's (who looks just as totally ‘80s) request of telling her he loves her!
Really, Really Bad Romance
Lady GaGa plays The Countess, the owner of the Hotel Cortez. She and her boyfriend Donovan (Matt Bomer) bring another couple home who are looking to indulge in some fun in the sack — bad mistake!
The foursome is getting too hot to handle when The Countess and Donovan slit the throats of the other two participants! The best part of owning a Hotel is the easy cleanup — The Countess tells Donovan to "call housekeeping." LOLz!
Don't Let The Ground Hit You On Your Way Down
The episode closes with a flashback scene to 1994 (Murphy LOVES ‘90s flashbacks!) with Donovan and his mother (Kathy Bates). Donovan was a junkie who came to the hotel with Paulson's character Sally to — what else — shoot up some heroin!
Bates bursts in the room to find Donovan has overdosed, which Sally doesn't really seem to care about. So naturally, Donovan's mom pushes Sally out the hotel window! Yikes!
That's a lot to take in for one episode! We can't wait for the horror that's to come!
[Image via FX.]
Tags: american horror story, cyndi lauper, fx, kathy bates, lady gaga, matt bomer, max greenfield, ryan murphy, sarah paulson, scary!, tv news, wes bently