From surviving armed robberies, severe drug addiction, and the 2008 plane crash that killed four and left him with burns on over half of his body — Blink-182's Travis Barker has faced overwhelming struggle throughout his life.
In a recent interview with Billboard mag, the 39-year-old sat down to discuss his memoir Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, And Drums, Drums, Drums hitting shelves October 20.
Related: Celebs Who Fought Addiction — And Won!
The father of two has constantly dealt with substance addiction, which led to some of his darkest days:
"My breakfast was four blunts, four Vicodin, one Valium, one Oxycodone. 'Cause that was the only way I could leave the house. I had to medicate myself before I could even think about getting in the car. It was tough."
When asked about his lowest point, Shanna Moakler's ex admits there has been more than one, but remembered this moment in particular:
"I think in Australia [in 2004], I was so addicted to Oxycodone, and I had a security that would actually sleep during the day and then stay up at night to make sure I was breathing. That was pretty pathetic. My bones were so brittle from so much painkiller use. I had this moment when I got to Europe for that tour where I really identified myself as a dumpster. And I wasn't proud. I was scared. I had to call [Blink-182 member] Mark [Hoppus] and say, 'Hey, man. I'm like borderline suicidal. I'm going crazy. I need to go home.' Like not even one show had started. I'd been there two days. I hadn't slept one day. It was like naw, man. I need to go home and get my head right. So I think that was the most disappointing time."
That's when the unthinkable happened — a tragic plane crash that completely altered the drummer's outlook on life. Scary enough though, the crash is something Barker had premonitions, and even nightmares, about beforehand:
"We got [to the airport], and I did my normal thing: I'm medicating. I called my dad. I don't know what it was, but I said, 'Pops, I have a really strange feeling about this one. Something just tells me it's not right.' And I'd walked off planes before. But I said, 'I love you, and if anything happens, make sure the kids are taken care of.' And then, sure enough…"
Yikes. So scary.
Less than a year after the accident, Barker's best friend and only other survivor from the crash Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein died from an apparent drug overdose. At his lowest point, Travis battled PTSD and survivor's guilt so severe that he often contemplated suicide himself.
But ultimately something clicked when children Landon, 12, and Alabama Luella, 9, came into the picture:
"The moment I had kids, my life changed. I wanted to be sober for them. I wanted to be alive and healthy for them."
As for his mindset now, Rita Ora's new flame is clinging to his sobriety, his music, and his kids:
"I have the best support system. I have the most amazing kids. I'm not on any medications. I haven't seen a post-traumatic doctor in six years. I get so much love and happiness out of playing music and playing the drums and my kids. There's nothing better. I couldn't ask for more."
What an intense story.
We are so thankful Trav has been on a successful road to recovery and is able to be an amazing father to his two young ones. Good for him!
[Image via WENN.]
Tags: bookz, mental health, rehab, travis barker