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Washington Redskins Finally (Kind Of) Admit Their Name Is Offensive — But They Have A DISGUSTING New Excuse To Keep Their Mascot

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooWacky, Tacky & TrueZportzFootballNFLCrazzzzyViral: NewsControversy

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This is unbelievable!

The Washington Redskins are trying to preserve the trademark for their highly offensive nickname, and the NFL team is now going to great lengths to defend their position.

On Friday, the team — along with controversial owner Dan Snyder — filed an opening brief in an appeals court in the hopes that they could keep their nickname after a court just ruled the name was highly offensive.

Related: The State Of California Just Outlawed Using 'Redskins' For ALL Public School Mascots!

But this opening brief has to be seen to be believed!

It seems the 'Skins are no longer arguing that their name is not offensive, which had been their argument up to this point.

NOW they are conceding it is offensive to some — but they're arguing that since trademarks have been granted to dozens of other highly offensive (and NSFW) names, the Redskins ought to be allowed to keep theirs, too:

"The [U.S. Patent and Trademark Office] has registered hundreds if not thousands of marks that the Team believes are racist, or misogynistic, vulgar, or otherwise offensive. By way of example only, the following marks are registered today: TAKE YO PANTIES OFF clothing; DANGEROUS NEGRO shirts; SLUTSSEEKER dating services; DAGO SWAGG clothing; DUMB BLONDE beer; TWATTY GIRL cartoons; BAKED BY A NEGRO bakery goods; BIG TITTY BLEND coffee; RETARDIPEDIA website; MIDGET-MAN condoms and inflatable sex dolls; and JIZZ underwear. These are not isolated instances. The government routinely registers pornographers' marks: TEENSDOPORN.COM, MILFSDOPORN.COM, THUG PORN, GHETTO BOOTY, and BOUND GANGBANGS are but a few."

Surely, those sixteen examples (above) should suffice to make a point in their appeal, right??

Related: With 'Redskins' Deemed Offensive, Could The Team Become The Washington Bravehearts?

…WRONG!!

The team continued:

No one today thinks registration reflects government approval. But if this Court holds that it does, how will the government explain registrations like MARIJUANA FOR SALE, CAPITALISM SUCKS DONKEY BALLS, LICENSED SERIAL KILLER, YID DISH, DIRTY WHOOORE CLOTHING COMPANY, and MURDER 4 HIRE?[4]

Whew! Ok, enough already, our eyes are starting to glaze over, you guys.

Related: This Baseball Got A Tattoo He Will Regret Forever!

Wait, there's MORE?!?!

Yep, they also noted:

Other startling examples that would reflect government endorsement under the decision below include: SHANK THE B!T@H board game; CRACKA AZZ SKATEBOARDS; ANAL FANTASY COLLECTION, KLITORIS, and OMAZING SEX TOYS sex toys; HOT OCTOPUSS anti-premature ejaculation creams; OL GEEZER wines; EDIBLE CROTCHLESS GUMMY PANTIES lingerie; WTF WORK? online forum; MILF WEED bags; GRINGO STYLE SALSA; MAKE YOUR OWN DILDO; GRINGO BBQ; CONTEMPORARY NEGRO, F'D UP, WHITE TRASH REBEL, I LOVE VAGINA, WHITE GIRL WITH A BOOTY, PARTY WITH SLUTS, CRIPPLED OLD BIKER BASTARDS, DICK BALLS, and REDNECK ARMY apparel; OH! MY NAPPY HAIR shampoos; REFORMED WHORES and WHORES FROM HELL musical bands; LAUGHING MY VAGINA OFF entertainment; NAPPY ROOTS records; BOOTY CALL sex aids; BOYS ARE STUPID, THROW ROCKS AT THEM wallets; and DUMB BLONDE hair products. Word limits prevent us from listing more.

If you're keeping track, that's 53 different vulgar names that the 'Skins are hoping are just as offensive as theirs, and thus, will allow the football team to keep their nickname.

Related: Twitter Just Turned 'Favorites' To 'Likes' And People Are FREAKING OUT About It!

Of course, presumably none of those other 53 trademarks have a specific group of people highly offended by them like the Redskins have offended pretty much every Native American group.

(But it would sure be interesting to see the people offended by "CAPITALISM SUCKS DONKEY BALLS," wouldn't it?! Maybe some investment bankers somewhere?!)

Either way, the most noteworthy thing here is that Washington is finally admitting their name is vulgar. Kinda. At least we've gotten that far…

What do U think of the Redskins' latest tactic??

[Image via Washington Redskins/Facebook.]

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