This is absolutely wonderful.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 4, 2016
That's how we'll file the story on last night's episode of The Bachelor, which saw Ben Higgins end the journey to love with one of the contestants, hand out an unexpected rose to another, and then — just when our blood pressure was rising to an all-time high — hit us with "To Be Continued."
The suspense will likely kill us before next week's resolution to all this drama, but let's go back to the beginning.
It all started in Mexico City, when Ben (and his buddy Chris Harrison!) took the lovely ladies for a multi-cultural dating experience. It looked HOT in Mexico, as the girls were constantly fanning themselves to stay cool, but the city also looked really, really beautiful…
Or maybe everything looks better in comparison to Olivia Caridi's personality…
Anyways, it began when Amanda landed a one-on-one date with our lucky man. Amanda is a good girl for him — she's responsible (two kids!), ready to settle down (two kids!), had a lot of life experience (two kids!), and she knows how to commit to something (two kids!).
Hey, did we mention she also has two kids?!
Seriously, though — even country music singer Lee Brice said he thought Amanda ought to be the girl for Mr. Higgins during the Bachelor Live after show, so you KNOW she's got it going on.
After their solid one-on-one date, which started at 4:30 in the morning with a hot air balloon ride (side note: does Ben ever NOT ride in a flying object during a date?!), the rest of the girls (except for Lauren H.!!!) got together for the group portion of this week's show.
The crew was told they were going to be learning how to get to a man's heart… which means through his stomach, right?!
A cooking challenge was the main premise of the group date, but an important thing happened on the first part, too. While the girls were learning Spanish lessons, Jubilee Sharpe had a meltdown, evidently mad over the fact that Ben was saying sweet-nothings in Spanish to all the other girls.
You know, to practice the local language.
Jubilee pulled away from Ben during their time together, and that was a BAD look. Keep that in mind for later — but for now, the date continues!
Moving on to the group cooking portion, the nine girls on the date and Ben had to split into teams of two. Immediately, Olivia and Jubilee started fighting over Ben, with Olivia eventually getting to be his partner. (Ugh. of COURSE.)
Olivia worked that impromptu one-on-one setting to her advantage, too, picking up the group date rose for her efforts, which everybody HATED.
But there were a few other very inneresting things to go down that night, as well: first, Lauren B. and Ben walked the streets of Mexico City for, like, HOURS, leaving the group behind while they fell in love in front of the downtown skyline.
And then immediately after Ben came back on a high from that, he pulled aside Jubilee… and broke up with her!!!
No, seriously — he told Jubilee he no longer saw a path to a future between them any more, and that she should probably leave that night. And she did!
Fast forward a day, now, and none other than super cute kindergarten teacher Lauren H. is off for her one-on-one date with the bachelor himself, heading to a Mexico City fashion show during the country's fashion week.
In a surprise move for both of them, the producers of the show decide to let Lauren H. and Ben actually WALK in the affair — and they killed it on the runway!!!
Lauren H. also impressed her way out of the friend zone during the dinner portion of the date, so Ben gave her some smooches — and a rose.
And, you know, they had that whole once-in-a-lifetime experience of walking in a fashion show.
Haven't we all been there?
All's good now, right? Well… no.
See, Miss Olivia decided to keep playing the villain back at the house, telling the group it "felt like an episode of Teen Mom" when Amanda was talking to some of the girls about her two kids back home.
Not surprisingly, that did NOT sit well with the ladies, and both Emily and Amanda pulled Ben aside later to confront him about Olivia's shady two-way dealings.
None of this should matter, though, because Olivia has a rose, right — so she's safe for another week?!
Just as time was winding down on the episode, hunky Higgins pulled aside the news anchor for a private meeting. SO dramatic.
And then… NOTHING!
"To Be Continued," the TV screen read, as we frantically tried to pray for more time. But alas, it wasn't meant to be, and here we are stuck with seven days of waiting to see if Ben ditches Olivia for being shady, or if the show's super villain sticks around for another week.
What do U think — will Olivia go on next Monday's episode?! Or is her "love language" with Ben stronger than ever??
He couldn't possibly send Jubilee AND Olivia home from the same city, could he???
And who are the frontrunners?! It's gotta be the Laurens and Amanda, right?!
Let us know in the comments (below)!!!
[Image via ABC.]