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Jennifer Garner Breaks Her Silence On Nannygate & Ben Affleck Divorce!

| Filed under: Ben AffleckMatt DamonJennifer GarnerRicky GervaisGolden GlobesVanity FairFamilyCover ShotBreakupsGirl Power

Jennifer Garner

Whoa! We've been waiting for this!

Jennifer Garner is speaking out for the first time since her highly-publicized split from Ben Affleck after 10 years of marriage in her cover story for next month's Vanity Fair.

As you know, the pair announced their decision to divorce last June and shortly after reports went rampant that Affleck had an affair with the beloved couple's kids' nanny Christine Ouzounian.

Now, Garner is ready to talk — and she's saying the 28-year-old employee had nothing to do with the divorce.

Say what?!

Related: Jennifer Isn't Looking For Love Until AFTER Her Divorce Is Finalized!

Miz Garner explained:

"It was a real marriage. It wasn't for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work."

Apparently, there's more to the story:

"Let me just tell you something. We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It's not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives. I have had to have conversations about the meaning of ‘scandal.'"

The duo formerly known as Bennifer shares three kiddos — Violet, 10, Seraphina, 7, and Sam, 4.

The Alias alum admitted she has no regrets when it comes to her relationship with the father of her children:

"I didn't marry the big fat movie star; I married him. And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can't have these three babies and so much of what we had. He's the love of my life. What am I going to do about that? He's the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He's just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.' But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it's cold. He can cast quite a shadow."

Ouch.

Even though things didn't work out as she would've hoped, the two put up a united front for the kid's sake:

"Of course this is not what I imagined when I ran down the beach, but it is where I am. We still have to help each other get through this. He's still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I'm still the only person that knows some of his truths."

Without a doubt, Garner wants Affleck in their children's lives:

"It's not Ben's job to make me happy. The main thing is these kids—and we're completely in line with what we hope for them. Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter's wedding. But you should see their faces when he walks through the door. And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you're going to be friends with that person."

And now she's using the time she put into her marriage to now focus on herself:

"When the earth shakes, you go to what you know from childhood. All of a sudden I'm sitting down at the piano. I went back to church. I sat down and wrote bad poetry all day because I was so sad. I needed a dance class; it reminded me of my fight scenes [in Alias] and how I missed that. I feel the need to be physical and I feel the need to punch someone. You know what I look forward to? I look forward to getting past the pity stage. I look forward to just having a sense of humor."

So how about Ricky Gervais' joke at the Golden Globes when he introduced Matt Damon as "the only person who Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to?"

The 43-year-old responded:

"I laughed. People have pain—they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain. No one needs to hate him for me. I don't hate him. Certainly we don't have to beat the guy up. Don't worry—my eyes were wide open during the marriage. I'm taking good care of myself."

Good for her!! So much respect for Jen!

To read more from her interview, click HERE.

P.S. Can we talk about how BANGIN' Jennifer looks in these pics?! Ow ow!

[Image via Vanity Fair.]

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