Dating is hard. Online dating can be even scarier.
Clay Skipper, a 26-year-old aspiring writer living in NYC, had been single for four years — so he did what anyone would do… and had his mom run his Tinder account!
We know what you're thinking — a disaster waiting to happen, right?
Well, while Clay didn't meet the love of his life through an online dating app run by his 58-year-old mother, he did appreciate her effort in trying.
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The commentary alone on what his mom would say while swiping through potential girlfriends for her son was entertainment enough:
"'You could get a lot of sexually transmitted diseases.'
'I don't think you should just hook up for casual sex. I think you should get to know people.'
'This one is NAKED! Yuck.'
'Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to show it.'
'Lots of swipes NO. MANY ARE young. Some old. Some with too much boob showing.'
'I doubt I am SMOOTH. I AM NOT LOOKINg for sex.'"
Oh, and this particular voicemail his mom left after an exchange with one contender:
"'Oh, hey, it's Mom. She [the match] texted me back. I asked if she'd like to meet for coffee or a drink. She texted me she was in bed. Is that code for something? I texted her back and said, 'Well, it doesn't have to be tonight.' Anyway, not sure what to say. I don't even think we picked Alex*. Did we? Maybe she just picked you, from your Tinder page. Anyway. Alright. Bye.'"
And then this conversation:
"'This is your mother, calling again with your Tinder replies. I also have a conversation going with Kelsey. She said, sure, she'd like to meet you for a drink. First, she said, 'Molly.' Anyway, I don't know what else to say to these people. I'm soon going to give them both your number. Okay. Bye.""
Yep, that girl definitely joked about meeting up to do the drug Molly with Clay's mom. Ha!
After all of this, Clay only got one actual date, and the girl was certainly not his type. He recalls of the experience:
"The date was bad. We had nothing in common outside of the fact that we both had eyes and jobs. We spent an hour together and had two drinks each. If I asked her any of the things we had already "discussed" on Tinder previously, she made no mention of me bringing it up again here. The plan all along was to tell her that it had actually been my mom talking to her, using my Tinder, but I very quickly had a crisis of conscience. I realized that many people do use the app as a means of connecting with new people (with success!), and I didn't want to make light of that by telling her:Really, it's my mom who's interested in you. Of course, not saying it didn't make it any less true, which doesn't make me feel great. The date ended and we went our separate ways. Sex was not involved."
When he asked his mom later what exactly she was looking for in his potential love interests, she said:
"I was looking for somebody that was cute, but then had something else to say rather than seems like she just wanted to get right in bed. I was looking to have a conversation and then meet for a coffee, or meet in the park. So I was more drawn to the ones that liked to sky dive, or liked to ski, or play lacrosse. [Maybe] they had a dog."
Seems like a good strategy, but it's probably best to leave the dating up to the actual person. Or, anyone other than your mom! Ha!
Needless to say, that was the end of that. Clay has now moved on to a relationship with someone he met in real life (*gasp*), and still continues to text his mom about his love life.
Ch-ch-check out some of her infamous conversation starters in the gallery (above)!
You can read his entire experience HERE.
Would U ever let your mom run your online dating profile?? After all, she probably only wants what's best for you!
SOUND OFF in the comments!
Tags: clay skipper, funny, love line, online dating, tinder