Why so sad? Oh right. Because Obama's successor is already showing what an unaware buffoon he is.
Did you see that embarrassing interview on Fox & Friends?? Just let Colbert break it down for you (below)!
[Image via CBS.]
How do these movies keep getting made?
Ever since Love Actually came out in 2003, Hollywood has been trying desperately to recreate its magic with ensemble cast movies set over different holidays… and by "Hollywood," we actually just mean director Garry Marshall.
First the 81-year-old had Valentine's Day, then it was New Year's Eve, but Mother's Day may actually be his worst movie yet!
Although, we'd pay good money if the plot was about Jason trying to burn Julia's terrible wig, which is what we're getting from that awful movie poster! LOLz!
Andrew Barker, Variety: "Atrociously written, begrudgingly acted, haphazardly assembled and never more backward than when it thinks it's being progressive, Mother's Day should at least be able to count on Mother's Day traffic to boost its box office — or at least it could have, were it not opening 10 days prior."
David Ehrlich, Indiewire: "We are but simple peons, powerless to stop the completion of the Pretty Woman director's holiday-themed trilogy of terror. Lifeless, ugly, and vaguely evil in its gross attempt to offer something for everyone, Mother's Day doesn't feel like a movie so much as it does a cinematic adaptation of Walmart."
Jesse Hassenger, A.V. Club: "Collectively, Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, and Kate Hudson, the three biggest stars in Mother's Day, represent decades and dozens of romantic comedies and domestic dramedies. Yet this movie never feels like the work of old pros, or young pros, or anyone of any age with much acting experience."
Jon Frosch, The Hollywood Reporter: "Mother's Day is bad from the start, and it doesn't get better. Part of the problem is structural. Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve came equipped with teeming big-name casts, spread out across various vignettes; hacky and dimwitted as the films were, they never stranded you with anyone for too long. Mother's Day features far fewer characters and subplots, stretched thin over a punishingly protracted 118 minutes; there's no buffer between you and the movie's ineptitude."
Samantha Highfill, Entertainment Weekly: "Garry Marshall's latest star-heavy, plot-light ensemble film seems to follow the belief that a holiday about mothers is enough to engage audiences and make them so invested in the characters—despite zero character development—that they won't notice any offensive comments, choppy dialogue, lifeless jokes, or planted attempts at sincerity."
Pete Hammond, Deadline: "At 81, it is admirable that director Garry Marshall is still cranking out feature films. Unfortunately, since he started turning faux holidays into excuses for movies with Valentine's Day in 2010, followed in 2011 by New Year's Eve, he — and we — have been experiencing diminishing returns. But Valentine's Day was Shakespeare compared to what we have now with Mother's Day."
Alonso Duralde, The Wrap: "With Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, and now Mother's Day, director Garry Marshall has officially become the worst thing to happen to holidays since The Christmas Shoes."
Good thing all those A-Listers got paid millions of dollars to make this movie great.
Make sure to take your Mom to see Mother's Day in theaters Friday, April 29… if you dare!
[Image via Open Road Films.]