Andi Dorfman's time with The Bachelor/ette franchise was far from a fairytale.
For her new memoir, It's Not Okay, the reality TV star opened up about her relationship with her ex-fiancé, Josh Murray, after the cameras stopped rolling. Tell us more!
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As you may recall, Miz Dorfman met the dashing financial advisor during her 2014 stint on The Bachelorette where she eventually accepted his proposal. On her romance with Josh, Andi noted during a recent interview:
"I don't usually let my emotions get the best of me… I was 100 percent sure I'd spend my life with him."
However, once the twosome left the show and started their life in Atlanta, GA things began to fall apart. In fact, the brunette beauty started journaling about her TV experiences and described her relationship as "the most volatile and f*cked up relationship" of her life.
Whoa. We can only imagine this therapeutic journaling helped the former assistant district attorney pen her book.
In one passage, Andi revealed that she dealt with some verbal and emotional abuse from her former flame. In regards to her highly publicized liaison with Nick Viall during the show, Andi revealed that she first told Josh she didn't have sex with Nick because Josh said they'd be done if she did.
Eventually she revealed the truth to Josh, and it affected her relationship greatly. She wrote:
"He was devastated, angry and hurt, badly. I apologized profusely for lying. He seemed to struggle over whether he was more upset by the fact that I had lied or that I'd had sex with another man. Several more apologies later, it became clear the issue was about my having sex with someone else. That one sexual escapade would become a power play used by my fiancé to justify his mistrust in me. It would be an excuse to call me a whore. And it would eventually lead to the demise of my engagement."
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In another passage, Dorfman describes herself and Murray as "hotheads" and detailed one bad fight they had while in NYC — which resulted in her giving back her Neil Lane ring (below).
Alone in a random church, I cradled my head in my hands and began to sob. For the first time, I thought, I don't think we're going to make it. But the thought scared me — if I wasn't the happy fiancée, who was I? Back then, I wasn't ready to answer that question. With little time to spare, I pulled myself together and dashed back. It wasn't until [our plane took off] that he leaned into me and whispered in my ear that he was sorry. I looked at him only to find tears rolling down his face. I had never seen him cry. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and began crying as well. It had been one of the worst fights we'd ever had, but I wasn't ready to lose him.
Now that's drama. Obviously, Josh has since commented on the unattractive portrayal of his character in Andi's book. He shared:
"It saddens me and is very unfortunate that Andi has chosen to characterize me in such a negative way. I pray she finds peace."
Well, at least Josh took the high road. Be sure to ch-ch-check out It's Not Okay when it hits shelves on May 17!
[Image via WENN.]
Tags: andi dorfman, bookz, josh murray, nick viall, reality tv, sad sad, the bachelor-ette