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Scream Queens Serves Up Its Grossest Episode Yet With Cannibal Diseases, Murderous Hands, & An Improbably Ugly Colton Haynes! Get The Full Recap!

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Murder! Mystery! Homoerotic John Stamos shower scenes!

Tuesday's episode of Scream Queens had a little something for everyone, especially if you're really into grotesque diseases and erotic asphyxiation.

[SPOILERS, IDIOT HOOKERS]

After witnessing a hairy patient get decapitated at the end of last week's season premiere, Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) became a suspect right off the bat, despite the fact that there was green smile tracked in by the actual murderer, the Green Meanie.

Related: Ryan Murphy Talks Working With The 'Relentlessly Homophobic' WB!

No. 5's luck turned around when she started getting romantic with a patient played by the impossibly handsome Colton Haynes — except his character Tyler was in the hospital because he was completely covered in NASTY looking boils…

Bent on making Tyler hot again, No. 5 started fundraising for an expensive laser to remove the warts, but it was Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) who got the money from her ex-boyfriend Chad Radwell (Glen Powell), who had returned to win her back.

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The treatment ended up being bad news for Tyler, who was wheeled into the surgery room by the Green Meanie and fried alive by the laser meant to make him hot again — sorry, No. 5!

After Zayday (Keke Palmer) got suspicious of Dean Munsch's (Jamie Lee Curtis) motives for hiring a bunch of college kids to work at a hospital, she and Chamberlain (James Earl) started doing research on the hospital basement — where they ran into Nurse Hoffel (Kirstie Alley) suspiciously popping pills.

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Since the hospital's history was wiped from the internet, they used old newspaper clippings to find out the whole medical staff was massacred during their 1986 Halloween party, a year after Dr. Mike (Jerry O'Connell) killed a patient and dumped him in a swamp.

As for Dean Munch, it turns out she had taken over the hospital because she had an undiagnosable, incurable disease. From her symptoms, Zayday concluded that Munsch has a cannibal disease kuru, which she contracted at a party (slash funeral) in New Guinea. Poor Dean!

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Shortly after Chad came to the hospital to woo Chanel, he learned she has already been hooking up with Dr. Holt (Stamos) — which led to a hilarious and steamy shower scene between the two men as they argued about competing over the bossy med student.

After losing miserably in a game of squash, Chad enlisted a private investigator to get dirt on the handsome surgeon. He learned that the donated hand sewn onto Holt's arm had previously belonged to an Olympic squash star who murdered all of his opponents.

When we later see Holt on a movie date with Chanel, it's clear this murderous hand still has a mind of its own!

Watch out, Chanel. Better yet… watch out, EVERYONE!!

What do YOU think of this season so far?

[Image via FOX.]

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