What happens in the woods doesn't always stay in the woods!
Wednesday's episode of American Horror Story: Roanoke may have not given too many hints about the season's unusual format, but the haunting hour still managed to gross us out!
Related: Scream Queens Serves Up Its Grossest Episode Yet!
The latest chapter of the horror anthology gave a little backstory on the settlers haunting Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr., showed a glimpse behind the scenes of the show-within-a-show My Roanoke Nightmare, and featured the biggest WTF moment of the season courtesy of Lady GaGa!
Joining Lee (Angela Bassett) in search of her missing daughter Flora, Shelby (Paulson) and Matt (Gooding Jr.) stumble upon a decaying farm filled with dismembered pig parts, and find two feral hillbilly boys having some lunch — suckling a swine's teat.
The trio takes the boys to the hospital, where they still behave like animals — only able to utter the word "Croatoan." Lee's ex-husband Mason shows up looking for Flora, and accuses Lee of hiding their daughter as part of a plan to take her away.
Later that night, police find Mason's dead body badly barbecued on a standing wooden circle. Sorry, bro.
Thinking like a rational person, Matt suggests he and Shelby should just leave the house, but before they can act they're greeted by new character Cricket — a Louisiana psychic (played by AHS vet Leslie Jordan) who says he can help find the young girl.
Cricket tells Lee that Flora is with her invisible friend Priscilla, who died in the late 1500s. After trying to contact Priscilla, Cricket instead conjures the Butcher (Kathy Bates), who threatens to stack bodies in order to "protect this place."
Paying Cricket $25,000, Lee hears the story of the infamous 16th Century Lost Colony of Roanoke. We learn the butcher was Tomasyn White, the wife of the colony's governor.
After insisting the starving colonists stay put instead of moving inland to find food, Tomasyn is banished and sentenced to be killed by a squealing beast — but is saved at the last second by an otherworldly woman (GaGa) who feeds the animal's heart to Tomasyn, asking she surrender her soul. NBD.
GaGa's enchanting character returns later in the episode for a sex scene so unsettling, it rivals her blood orgy in Hotel! After searching through the woods at night (again?), Shelby finds Matt having sweaty forest sex with GaGa's witch character, as two hillbillies watch while pleasuring themselves.
Of course, this jarring image was most likely witchcraft; when confronted by Shelby, Matt has no recollection of getting freaky with another woman in the woods.
The episode's biggest revelation came during an "unscripted" moment in the reality horror program interview portion, when the voice of a producer presses talking-head Lee (Adina Porter) for more information. Though the cameras didn't show the producer on screen, fans noticed he did sound a lot like AHS alum Cheyenne Jackson!
Either way, there are still SO many questions that we need answered!
[Image via FX.]
Tags: adina porter, american horror story, american horror story: roanoke, angela bassett, cheyenne jackson, cuba gooding jr., kathy bates, lady gaga, leslie jordan, sarah paulson, scary!, tv news