America may actually be living a real life horror story after this week's election results, but even a Donald Trump presidency seems better than what went down on the latest episode of American Horror Story: Roanoke.
Three weeks ago, the FX horror anthology teased only one core character of this season would live to see the season finale.
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While the final survivor didn't come as much of a surprise, how she came to be the final girl took some gruesome twists and turns.
The episode began with some new faces — a group of GoPro clad fanatics of the original My Roanoke Nightmare show, led by Taissa Farmiga. They think it's a great idea to visit the haunted property during the Blood Moon. Spoiler alert: it's not.
Back at the mansion, we pick up with the arrival of Dylan (Wes Bentley), who was instructed by Sydney to put on a pig mask and strike up some cheap scares around the house.
After realizing that Sydney, the production team, and most of the cast has already been hacked up, Dylan offers to save the day and rescue Monet (Angela Bassett) from the evil Polk family.
Having just escaped the clutches of the cannibal hillbillies themselves, Audrey (Sarah Paulson) and Lee (Adina Porter) insist they go with him — though we know Lee's ulterior motive is to destroy a confessional tape where she confesses to murdering her ex.
Shortly after entering the Polk's liar, Lee finds her precious tape and Dylan finds an escape car. (Why didn't he have one to begin with? He arrived to the house in an Uber, of course.) Audrey finds Monet — tied up and definitely about to be tortured — but then comes across an angry Polk, who threatens to slowly kill her. Being well equipped this time around, Audrey catches his lethal threat on tape and then swiftly shoots him dead.
Things are looking up, until Dylan is brutally attacked by a Polk who takes away the car. But that's not all — the Butcher and her murderous squad are approaching on the Blood Moon.
Well aware they have no time to waste, Audrey and Monet make a run for it, leaving behind Lee to desperately crawl through the woods. This is easy prey for the Scathach Wood Witch, who offers a pig's heart to Lee and seemingly possesses her with the spirit of the Butcher.
That's when our freshly possessed survivor runs into the three annoying YouTubers (Milo, Todd, and Sophie) who have been wandering through the woods unaware of all the crazy sh*t going on. The group recognizes Lee from the show-within-a-show, and just as Todd tries to tell her what a fan he is, Lee kills him.
A terrified Sophie and Milo make their way back to the producer's trailer to find the gutted crew, and despite just having a fatal encounter with one of the show's stars, decide they still want to save Audrey and Monet.
Back at the house, Monet and Audrey watch the tape Lee was so desperate to recover, and find out all about her murderous confession. Just as the girls think they are safe, Monet runs into Lee herself in the hallway.
Unaware Lee is possessed by the Butcher, Monet taunts the alcoholic and promptly gets pushed over the stairs' railway, dead as a doornail. Audrey fights back against Lee — but ends up getting stabbed and kicked down the hole in the cellar.
Things are just as bad for Milo and Sophie, who are captured by the colonists and, under the command of Lee, burned alive at the stake. It was nice seeing you, Taissa!
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The next day, the cops FINALLY show up after receiving reports of a lynch mob. They find all of the bodies along with a shaken Lee, who is seemingly no longer possessed — and probably not even aware she just killed five people.
As they get Lee off the scene, the cops stumble upon a somehow still alive Audrey, who tries to shoot Lee with an officer's gun out of rage. Of course, the cops respond by opening fire and shoot Audrey to death — making it clear Lee is the one who makes it out of Roanoke alive.
The preview for next week's season finale teased the biggest gasp-inducing moment of the season: a shot of Lee smiling for the camera, sitting on a TV show talk show couch across from… Lana Winters!
That's right! Paulson will return in the next episode as her beloved Asylum character to conduct an interview with the survivor of Roanoke.
Will the investigative journalist find out what really went down? We'll find out next week!
[Image via FX.]
Tags: adina porter, american horror story, american horror story: roanoke, angela bassett, donald trump, sarah paulson, scary!, taissa farmiga, tv news, wes bentley