And we're at such a loss of words, we're going to let Miz Teigen tell you what went down:
Make Alexandria Great Again!
That's what all the characters were thinking in Sunday night's The Walking Dead after the community was taken over by ultimate bad guy Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan).
After knocking off a few fan favorites in the season premiere, the bat-wielding villain spent some time getting acquainted with his latest community conquest, while our survivors started to realize just how f*cked they were.
Aside from robbing the survivors of their hope and dignity, Negan took all their guns and their mattresses. Though the heroes managed to pull off a minor victory when Father Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) convinced Negan that Maggie (Lauren Cohan) had died — which is good, since we know Negan has a thing for the widows of his victims.
Perhaps most symbolically of all, while in Alexandria, Negan had Rick carry around Lucille. How emasculating can you get, making your new enemy carry around your bat-penis?
(Not to Ben Affleck: "bat-penis" is all yours if you want it!)
But this new order didn't just bother Rick; it's even tough on his portrayer! On having to bow to his new boss, Andrew Lincoln told Entertainment Weekly:
"Yeah, it just sucks. I mean, it's been a great acting opportunity, but I wouldn't say it's been fun. It's been emasculating the leader and having to be publicly humiliated and taunted and tormented and all those kind of things, and it sucks. I'm not going to lie to you, it's been pretty bad."
But the new villain isn't the only one to watch out for; apparently, Spencer (Austin Nichols) has been hoarding food, liquor, and guns in his house. Wanna share some of that, Spence?
Spencer also got on the baddie radar by guilt-tripping Rick over the catastrophic massacre of Negan's men, which ultimately led to the deaths of Glenn (Steven Yeun) and Abraham (Michael Cudlitz).
While this wasn't exactly incorrect, we'd also like to point out Negan is a cold-blooded psycho who would have descended on the citizens eventually. Rick responded to this by telling Spencer the next outburst would earn him a broken jaw.
See? The old Alpha male Rick is still in there!
Rick continued to reflect on the past in a conversation with Michonne (Danai Gurira), revealing the episode's biggest shocker: he knows Judith isn't his daughter!
Is this TWD or an episode of Maury? Ha!
The audience has known Shane (Jon Bernthal) was Judith's biological father since season two, but since when did Rick figure it out??
While Rick was off being emotional, Rosita (Christian Serratos) began to take the Negan situation into her own hands. After plucking a gun from a zombified Savior outside the walls, Rosita knocked on Eugene's (Josh McDermitt) door, demanding:
"Make me a bullet."
YAS, girl! Take that SOB down! Maybe ask for more than one bullet, though..?
Do YOU think Rosita will be the one to take down Negan's empire? Watch a sneak peek of next week's episode to find out!
Catch The Walking Dead Sundays at 9 p.m. EST on AMC!
[Image via AMC.]