We just… can't.
As you know, Beyoncé shocked the world when she released her second visual album, Lemonade, where she referenced an alleged mistress named 'Becky' on the track Sorry.
Obviously, fans (us included) went WILD trying to figure out the identity of the woman who Jay Z may or may not have cheated on the 35-year-old songstress with.
And while it's relatively off-topic all these months later, one of Queen Bey's hairstylists (or, probably former hairstylists now) decided to speak with DailyMail.com about the possibility that Kris Jenner is the mysterious Becky.
Yes, you read that correctly. Kris freaking Jenner. LOLz!
Even though this is the most ridiculous thing we've ever heard, let's continue…
Related: The Beyhive Drags Stacey Dash For Attacking Beyoncé's Mom!
Anthony Pazos, who helped style Beyoncé for the VMAs and the Super Bowl, explained:
"The rumors while we were working were that the one line 'Becky with the good hair' is Kris Jenner. The funny thing about it is that no one believes that because they are like Jenner is older - why would Jay-Z do that? But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. In the way that if you were going to be with…someone that they know interpersonally who has the same amount of money that they do, and so that's the rumor that was going around on our production while we were working with Bey. Take what you want from that."
He went on:
"Kris does have good hair and 'Becky' always refers to a white woman in the African American community. Becky is a generic white name for somebody - a white girl."
Pazos seems to believe that Bey doesn't like Kris's relationship with her husband, or the fact that the momager is into younger guys:
"I have partied with Kris before and she's a sweetheart, a loving mother and is very professional and very fun. I have worked with Khloé and Lamar, and I love Khloé to death. The reason why Kris is always with younger guys is because she's still trying to live as if she's younger. We understand that she feels younger inside, and she always says that."
Adding of Jenner's beau, Corey Gamble:
"She is dating younger men and her boyfriend right now is in his mid-thirties. Yes he's a good-looking black guy, but it's a total 'sugar mama' situation and it's kind of ridiculous. And you sigh when you see them out together because it's all about her and it just seems so fake and contrived, it just doesn't seem real."
Whoa! Did it just get really shady in here or what??
No matter who Becky is, Pazos is definitely convinced the rapper strayed from his marriage:
"I'm not going to say anything about that. I can't even. I mean, everyone knows that there was. Straight up, there was. If you listen to her album it's very telling to what she was feeling about those particular circumstances. If you listen to the words you know. She doesn't talk to us about it."
But he didn't forget to add:
"People forget that the incident in the elevator when Solange was hitting Jay-Z, it wasn't because they had an argument about the weather. That was about another woman."
The Hollywood stylist continued by explaining what he's witnessed of Jay and Bey's relationship:
"They make their marriage work by being very humble. Believe it or not, even though they're so filthy rich and so successful, they're still very loving. When Jay and Bey are together they never show any affection around us, but they show affection for their daughter. They are supportive and always collaborating and vibing off each other. You never see them kissing or hugging or anything like that. But I would say they are in love. They are all about their business when it comes to their performances. They are very private and family orientated. They are definitely happy."
He also said the longtime couple does all the parenting of their daughter Blue Ivy Carter themselves:
"The really cool thing about it is that Jay Z and Beyoncé don't have a nanny for Blue Ivy. If Beyoncé is working, then Jay-Z takes care of her. I really like that they don't have a nanny for her, or if they do I have never seen one."
While we love an insider's perspective, we can't see Bey allowing him back on the glam squad ever again after blabbing to the press! Or Miz Jenner for that matter!
Congratulations, you played yourself (probably).
Anyway, we'll just leave this here:
Kim Kardashian West totally called it! Ha!
[Image via Instagram/WENN.]
Tags: anthony pazos, becky with the good hair, beyonce, blue ivy carter, controversy, corey gamble, jay z, kim kardashian, kris jenner, solange, super bowl, vmas