Paris Jackson is ALL grown up!!
Starring on the cover of Rolling Stone's February issue, Michael Jackson's daughter makes her first-ever magazine debut!
Doesn't she look stunning??
Related: Urban Myths' Portrayal Of Michael Makes Paris Want To "Vomit"
But this special issue also marks her first-ever in-depth interview, with the late pop icon at the center of it. Seven years after his passing, the 18-year-old lovingly remembers her father and the heartbreak of losing him:
"They always say, ‘Time heals, but it really doesn't. You just get used to it. I live life with the mentality of, ‘Ok, I lost the only thing that has ever been important to me.' So going forward, anything bad that happens can't be nearly as bad as what happened before. So I can handle it."
She's so strong!!
Paris even says she still gets visits from Michael in her dreams:
"I feel him with me all the time."
It's obvious the famous Jackson had such an impact on her life and the life of her brothers, Prince and Blanket:
"I just thought his name was Dad, Daddy. We didn't really know who he was. But he was our world. And we were his world."
And adding what it was like growing up in the Neverland Ranch, she says:
"When you're at home, your dad, who you love more than anything, will occasionally come in, in the middle of class, and it's like, ‘Cool, no more class for the day. We're gonna go hang out with Dad.' We were like, ‘We don't need friends. We've got you and Disney Channel'… We actually had a pretty normal life. Like, we had school every single day, and we had to be good. And if we were good, every other weekend or so, we could choose whether we were gonna go to the movie theater or see the animals or whatever. But if you were on bad behavior, then you wouldn't get to go do all those things."
Sadly, after his passing, Paris was battling depression.
In June 2013, she attempted suicide, having cut her wrist and taken 20 Motrin pills:
"It was just self-hatred, low self-esteem, thinking that I couldn't do anything right, not thinking I was worthy of living anymore."
The teen even goes on to say she's attempted it "multiple times" but her hospital had a "three-strike rule":
"It was just once that it became public."
Going to a private school years earlier didn't help:
"I was doing a lot of things that 13-, 14-, 15-year-olds shouldn't do. I tried to grow up too fast, and I wasn't really that kind of a person."
And of course there was cyber bullying:
"The whole freedom-of-speech thing is great, but I don't think that our Founding Fathers predicted social media when they created all of these amendments and stuff."
It wasn't until she spent her sophomore year and some of junior year at a therapeutic school in Utah that she finally got help:
"I'm a completely different person. I was crazy. I was actually crazy. I was going through a lot of, like, teen angst. And I was also dealing with my depression and my anxiety without any help."
We're glad she was able to get the help she needed, especially since Paris also reveals she was sexually assaulted at 14 by a "complete stranger:
"I don't wanna give too many details. But it was not a good experience at all, and it was really hard for me, and, at the time, I didn't tell anybody."
So horrible! We can't even imagine!!
Paris did NOT have it easy growing up following the death of MJ, but we're glad to know she's found a career path that makes her happy and gives her confidence. She's doing big things modeling:
"I've had self-esteem issues for a really, really long time. Plenty of people think I'm ugly, and plenty of people don't. But there's a moment when I'm modeling where I forget about my self-esteem issues and focus on what the photographer's telling me – and I feel pretty. And in that sense, it's selfish."
The famous offspring also touched on her those doubting her roots:
"He will always be my father. He never wasn't, and he never will not be. People that knew him really well say they see him in me, that it's almost scary… I consider myself black. [He] would look me in the eyes and he'd point his finger at me and he'd be like, ‘You're black. Be proud of your roots.' And I'd be like, ‘Ok, he's my dad, why would he lie to me?' So I just believe what he told me. ‘Cause, to my knowledge, he's never lied to me."
As for her relationship with her mom, Debbie Rowe??
"When I was really, really young, my mom didn't exist… I've had a lot of mother figures. But by the time my mom came into my life, it wasn't a ‘mommy' thing. It's more of an adult relationship."
The aspiring model didn't shy away from any controversial topics!
Mentioning Michael's child-molestation allegations, she recalls how much he suffered because of it. Remembering how he used to "cry to me at night," Paris spills:
"He did not bulls—t us. You try to give kids the best childhood possible. But you also have to prepare them for the shitty world. Picture your parent crying to you about the world hating him for something he didn't do. And for me, he was the only thing that mattered. To see my entire world in pain, I started to hate the world because of what they were doing to him. I'm like, ‘How can people be so mean?' Nobody but my brothers and I experienced him reading A Light in the Attic to us at night before we went to bed. Nobody experienced him being a father to them. And if they didn't the entire perception of him would be completely changed forever."
She also touches on his passing, seeing his "exhaustion" from rehearsals for his AEG Live tour:
"I'd tell him, ‘Let's take a nap.' Because he looked tired. We'd be in school, meaning downstairs in the living room, and we'd see dust falling from the ceiling and hear stomping sounds because he was rehearsing upstairs."
For her? All blame is on AEG and his Dr. Conrad Murray.
Without a doubt, she "absolutely" believes her dad was murdered, remembering how he used to say:
"He would drop hints about people being out to get him. And at some point he was like, ‘They're gonna kill me one day. It sounds like a total conspiracy theory and it sounds like bullsh*t, but all real fans and everybody in the family knows it. It was a setup. It was bullsh*t."
When it comes to getting justice:
"It's a chess game, and I am trying to play the chess game the right way. And that's all I can say about that right now."
We have to applaud Paris for being so open. We can't at all imagine it's easy no matter how much time passes.
You can read the rest of her shocking interview HERE.
[Image via David LaChapelle/Rolling Stone.]
Tags: cover shot, disney, february issue, michael jackson, paris jackson, rolling stone