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Louis Tomlinson's Mom's Dying Wish For Him Will Literally Rip Your Heart Out

| Filed under: Music MinuteSad SadBestiezOne DirectionFamilyGIFsZayn MalikLouis Tomlinson

Zouis is back!

Louis Tomlinson is still coping with the death of his mother, Johannah Deakin, who succumbed to her battle with leukemia in December.

The celeb previously revealed one of her final wishes is that he would continue with his music career… which he did. In a new interview with The Sun, it turns out she had one more for him.

Related: Louis Talks Doubts About Solo Success!

He recalled how his mom pushed him to reconcile with his former One Direction bandmate Zayn Malik a year after their falling out. The star confessed:

"My mum said, ‘You've got to get back in contact with Zayn. Life's too fucking short'. A mother's intuition is just fucking crazy. It always felt supernatural to me. My mum always knew what I was feeling and what I wanted."

Louis continued he never wanted to be on the outs:

"I can't stand to hold a grudge with anyone. It doesn't sit with me right. If there is any animosity, just clear the air. I met up with him and it was nice."

You may remember the two got into a bit of public feud when they took shots over Zayn leaving the band, but the poppa of one explained:

"I would always see the good in Zayn and also watch him shoot himself in the foot with some of his decisions, but he's just a little misunderstood… Zayn was always good for me in the band because he was my go-to if I wanted to piss around, lark around. I could always break the rules a little bit with Zayn. So after that whole thing, it was that brotherly love. We will always have that love for each other. I can't speak on behalf of him but we really care about each other."

Awww!

And talking about his relationship with the rest of the boy band:

"Unless you're a really bitter person, which none of us are, we've gone through so much with each other . . . so I like to think naively that we are better friends than maybe we were in the past."

The Back To You singer had a lot more to share, including how his mom inspired him to be the dad he is today AND his girlfriend Eleanor Calder:

On being a dad at 25: "I wouldn't have made this decision if someone asked me on the day. But thank God that the decision was made for me because it's just a blessing to be this age and to be able to have a child. What I loved about my relationship with my mum — she had me very young when she was 19 — is that it never felt like there was a generation gap. I witnessed that with so many of my friends. You know, ‘My mum just doesn't get it'. Hopefully because of the closeness in age, I will be able to give that to Freddie, too."

On not being intimidated by kids: "There are a lot of men for who the idea of having a child is really intimidating but I've grown up around kids. My mum was a midwife, so I'd forever be holding kids if she wasn't popping them out herself. It took that kind of fear away from me because what I saw in my mum is that all it takes is relentless consideration and love. The actual science of it isn't too fucking hard. Fundamentally it's about being as good as you possibly can."

On not wanting to grow up too fast: "I just still don't ever like saying that I feel like I've grown up. I think there's definitely still that naivety and immaturity to me. When I'm with me lads and I want to feel like a young 25-year-old then absolutely. But when I'm with Freddie and I want to feel like a really credible, good dad, I feel like I do that as well. So it's almost kind of playing two different roles."

On whether he's thought about having kids with Eleanor: "Of course. Me mum had a big family, I like the idea of quite a big family, just not quite as big as my mum's."

On coping with his mom's passing: "Throughout the time after my mum died I felt the support. It stretched past the fan base. People did have my back, it was a really nice feeling. Of course I could dwell on anything and go, ‘I feel really gloomy about that'. But I just have this ability, that has to have been forced by my mum, to just get on with shit. Obviously that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, and that I don't think about it. But I know me mum wouldn't want me to walk around being gloomy all the time, so I try my best just to pick myself up when I can. Of course, there are times . . . and that's why Eleanor has been so fantastic for me. And my best mate Oli and my sister because when I do need to talk, I have those people. I'm thankful that my mum pushed everything on to me because I know I'm dealing with it really well. But will it come back and crash down on me in two or three years? I don't know. As far as I am right now, I feel like I've got an understanding over the situation and perspective. I have those times now where I get a song and I'm like, ‘I can't wait to send it to my mum.' Like I still have those moments where I'm like, ‘She would really fucking love this.'"

On his new album: "Here's the thing, when you listen to my album, you won't have to read between the lines. You'll know what's about Eleanor, you'll know what's about me, you'll know what's about the fans, you know it might hint a little bit about the relationship with my mum. I want to make everything as honest and obvious as possible."

It's so clear how much of a positive affect his mom had on him.

We're at least glad to hear Louis has such an amazing support system, hopefully including his friend Zayn!

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