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Kesha Gets Real About Her Friendship With Taylor Swift, ‘Painful’ Eating Disorder, & Much More In Rolling Stone!

| Filed under: Music MinuteTaylor SwiftRehabKeshaHealthControversy

Kesha covers Rolling Stone!

Following up the release of her album, Rainbow, Kesha bared all for Rolling Stone!

Featured in their October issue, the songstress spoke up about everything from her friendship with Taylor Swift to suffering from an eating disorder.

The one name she doesn't mention?? Dr. Luke.

Video: Kesha & Macklemore Are Timeless Lovers In Good Old Days

Just hinting at their legal troubles, Kesha mentioned:

"I've been through a lot, and a lot we can't talk about."

However, Jesse Hughes of Eagles of Death Metal, who worked with the 30-year-old on the album, had strong words about the controversial producer for Rolling Stone:

"When she was going through her shit, we were like her big brothers. I was like, 'Who do I fuck up? You want me to go to his place right now? You want me to beat that fucking contract out of him right now? I will.' That's how strongly I felt about it. That's not even a lie, man."

The singer has fiercely loyal friends, including T.Swift! As you may remember, the pop singer donated $250K to help cover her expenses amid her battle against Dr. Luke.

Speaking of the LWYMMD singer, Kesha explained she "is a fucking sweetheart. Very, very sweet, very, very genuine, extremely generous":

"[Taylor] picks up the phone every time I call her. My mom doesn't even always pick up the phone!"

And she kept mum about any of Tay's recent controversies:

"I'm not really up on my pop culture. Should I know something about it?"

The Woman artist also described her pride over her new album:

"I feel like myself for the first time ever. And I made a record I'm extremely proud of, from the bottom of my guts – I excavated the most gnarly lyrics that were so difficult for me. And people still like it! It's really beautiful, and it's very healing. I feel like I'm being seen for what I actually am, and people are OK with it."

But it brings up a sensitive subject of her past issues with an eating disorder:

"'Perfect' is a tricky word. Because it's like, 'What the fuck is perfect? And who gets to decide?' Like, they can shove it up their ass."

The star divulged:

"I really just thought I wasn't supposed to eat food. And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I'd think, 'Oh, my God, I can't believe I actually did that horrible thing. I'm so ashamed of myself because I don't deserve to eat food. I was slowly, slowly starving myself. And the worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked. They would just be like, 'Oh, my gosh, keep doing whatever you're doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning.'"

And it was then at a dinner party, when her anxiety over it reached its height:

"I was like, 'Oh, my God, what if they walk outside and see this food in a bush? Or they see it in the garbage can?' And I just had all this mounting anxiety. And then finally I was like, 'Fuck. This. Shit. Fuck this shit. I'm hungry!' And I am so anxious that I feel like I'm going to explode from all the secrets. All the secret times I'm pretending to eat or other times I'm purging, and I'm trying to not let anybody know. And I'm just fucking sick of this shit. And I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point… I didn't know how to even eat. At that point, I'd forgotten how to do it."

Kesha admitted herself into rehab to meet with a nutritionist:

"I just remember crying into a carbohydrate being like, 'I can't eat it. It's going to make me fat, and if I'm fat, I can't be a singer because pop stars can't eat food – they can't be fat.' …I did just take my life into my own hands and choose life over a slow, painful, shameful self-imposed death. And I need to stop just being so fucking mean to myself."

Now, the performer sounds much kinder to herself and to her body.

And despite everything going on with the lawsuits, she's been so brave speaking up about what's important.

Read on for more of her interview, and be sure to take a look at her cover (below):

On needing to work on music in the facility: "You don't want to have anything that could be at all used for suicide. And I was like, 'I respect all of that, but please let me have a keyboard or my brain's going to explode. My head has all these song ideas in it, and I just really need to play an instrument.'"

On sitting "next to Rihanna and Katy Perry and all that" at a show, remembering being bullied in the cafeteria as a kid: "I just felt like so the outcast, the same person sitting at the lunch table."

On Ke$ha: "I loved what I was doing when I was doing it. It was so much fucking fun! I wouldn't change all the Worst Dressed lists, I wouldn't change the mohawk, I wouldn't change all that shit. I'm proud of myself for being that ballsy young girl that was ready to take life by the balls."

On not going to rehab for alcohol or drug-related issues: "I used to drink more, and now I don't. And that's fine. Truth is, I don't really like alcohol that much."

On developing feelings for her boyfriend Brad Ashenfelter: "Then he kissed me, and it was the nicest kiss I ever had. I was like, 'Wow, you're such a pure soul. Holy shit.' And I knew from that moment, 'I gotta hold on to you.'"

Thoughts??

[Image via FayesVision/Judy Eddy/WENN.]

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