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'I Remember Wanting To Die': WWE Diva Kaitlyn Posts About Drug Battle With 'Fucked Up' Throwback Pic

| Filed under: DrugsInspirationAlcoholWrestlingWWEDivasInstagram

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Happy anniversary, Kaitlyn!

The former WWE champion shared an intimate post on her Instagram Tuesday marking one year since she checked herself into the hospital to help her detox.

Related: Eva Marie Announces Her 'Bittersweet Goodbye' With The WWE

But that choice was just the beginning of her recovery. She writes:

"I remember getting out of the hospital feeling like death, with a medical taper plan of meds and thinking, 'What have I done to myself?' I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I remember wanting to die."

Kaitlyn, whose real name is Celeste Bonin btw, goes on to explain that she was never even someone who took any drugs before her addiction:

"It's so crazy. You can have the world at your fingertips but end up destroying yourself if you're not careful."

Read all of Celeste's candid recollections of pretending to be happy, finally admitting she had a problem, and suffering through hell to fix it (below):

It's been one year since I checked myself into the hospital for a medical drug detox. (I took this picture in the airport bathroom after flying into LAX.I felt so awful and disgusted with myself but I remember posting it on Instagram with some stupid caption about being happy. I was actually on the last days of the medicine to help me detox and was in a super fucked up place mentally and physically). Over the past few years I was in a terrible marriage, an addict and not true to myself. It took me so long to admit I had a problem… and then to admit how serious the problem was. I used to pretend to be and to live a certain way for social media. It's everyone's hi-light reel. I remember getting out of the hospital feeling like death, with a medical taper plan of meds and thinking "what have I done to myself?". I celebrated my 30th birthday 5 days later and I remember wanting to die. If you've ever gone through serious drug detox, you know that you basically go through two detoxes. One from the initial drug(s) and then another one from the medicine used to help you detox. A lot of people get hooked on the medicine and remain addicts. For me, I started abusing alcohol to deal with the chemical imbalances, panic attacks and sadness/depression I was experiencing. If you know me, you know I had never done a drug in my life leading up to this (besides smoking weed once or twice and freaking the fuck out.) It's so crazy. You can have the world at your fingertips but end up destroying yourself if you're not careful. I'm fortunate enough to have pulled myself out of it all and was able rebuild my life …but I can seriously empathize with anyone who is, has been, or has a tendency to be an addict (we're all addicted to something). But it's about self awareness and humility. Never be too proud to ask for help. Be able to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. Tag someone who needs to read this. #addictionA post shared by Celeste (@celestebonin) on Oct 24, 2017 at 4:44am PDT

[Image via Instagram.]

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