We're not surprised! Everything she touches turns to shit!

Avril Lavigne just released Alice, the theme for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland and it's shiteous. It was released this week and it's sitting at the meager #64 spot on the iTunes sales charts.

Ha!

[Image via WENN.]

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What else does she have to do?!

Now that she's single, Avril Lavigne has no problem pAArtying it up for a whopping five days in Vegas!

“All she wanted was a girls’ weekend,” said a source. “She had a strict no-boys-allowed rule. But she certainly didn't put the kibosh on liquor."

Oh shiz! She probably effed someone and didn't even know it!

The ladies spent their time at the Vdara resort at the new CityCenter, where suites can cost over $750 a night.

“She needed to let loose," the source continued. "She’d had it up to there dealing with men. She drank in her room before — and sometimes after — their nights in the clubs.”

clASSy!!!!

Avril was even throwing back cocktails at the new Cirque du Soleil show, Viva Elvis, and gave a drunk impromptu performance the Bank nightclub.

“They took shots of Patron when they weren’t drinking vodka,” the insider leaker. “She couldn’t have cared less about any of the men ogling her. They closed down the clubs every night they went out. They had a blast. Then for the hangovers, they hit Vdara’s spa before doing it all again."

Yikes! Next up, rehab!

[Image via WENN.]

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Avril Lavigne keeps pushing back the release for her next album from last November to "early 2010" and now it's more likely to be "mid-2010" because ex-husband Deryck Whibley is producing the thing and they can't seem to work together peaceably.

We can't imagine a divorcing couple managing to do anything together much less put out an album!

Apparently things are getting ugly in court with Deryck demanding spousal support from Avril who has a sizable amount of cash from her music and fashion line. Under California law, the money needs to be divided fairly with her ex.

A music agent who knows the former couple well says:

“The first eight songs, Avril and Deryck worked with a lot of love and it came easy. But there’s three or four more to do and they just ain’t feeling it. It’ll be a terrific album if they can put this aside for a month or so and concentrate on what matters — the music.”

Her upcoming acoustic album is entitled Pink Crust.

Sick! What a HOrrific title!

Are U looking forward to some Pink Crust — if they can ever get their shiz together?

[Image via WENN.]

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It's going to be a good one!

American Idol is back on January 12 for a 2-night, 4-hour premiere event featuring the auditions from Boston and Atlanta.

And there's quite a star-studded guest judge list!

Not only is Ellen DeGeneres taking over for Paula Abdul for the whole season, but Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Kristin Chenoweth, Neil Patrick Harris, Joe Jonas, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry and Shania Twain will all be guest judging throughout the season!

We're looking forward to it - except for Avril!

Will U be watching American Idol in 2010?

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We can't believe that someone other than Greasy Bear would have her!

Fresh out of her marriage, Avril Lavigne was spotted making out with some random dude at NYC's Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel on Tuesday.

We think slutty just met him that night!

The pair were surrounded by a group of friends as they sipped vodka and champagne. As soon as Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl began to play, Avril leapt on the poor boy and began to shove her tongue down his throat.

And then, they exchanged numbers!

clASS act!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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If this is true, we guess she didn't get too serious with Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis!

Avril Lavigne was reportedly spotted out several times with Lindsay Lohan's ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama.

After a first date near the end of October at Nobu they were supposedly getting chummy at LA club Wonderland over this past weekend.

A witness says:

"She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other's ear, laughing. They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2."

BARF!

[Image via Andres Otero / Joseph Marzullo / WENN.]

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D-Lister Avril Lavigne appears on the cover of Z-List magazine Savvy this month. We've never heard of it before either!

She looks HOrrendous!

And she's "learned what's important in life?"

Surely that can't include hard-pAArtying and shacking up with Brandon Davis?

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"Really liking Avril Lavigne songs. It takes me back to the girls I grew up with. Singing those Top 40 power ballads."

- Keanu Reeves tells Ladies Home Journal something that surprises us

[Image via WENN.]

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Oh BARF!

Recently separated Avril Lavigne is wasting no time in moving things right along with Brandon Davis.

The gruesome twosome were spotted house hunting in Beverly Hills and the Hollywood Hills just this week. Avril is selling the home she shared with ex Deryck Whibley and well, Davis still lives at home in Bel-Air.

What a winner!

A source reveals, "She and Brandon aren't sure where the romance is headed. But Brandon has never lived with a woman before, so it's a big commitment on his part."

Please, these two are just destined to crash and burn.

We're eagerly waiting on the edge of our seats!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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