Too Much Information
Filed under: Margaret Cho
We love her, but….
Comedienne Margaret Cho just wrote this article all about her period. And she's not talking about punctuation!
She says:
"I am the worst when it comes to period stains. That is why I never move because my mattress is so so so so stained that whenever I change the sheets it just looks like a murder scene. I'm serious. Somebody should put crime scene 'do not cross' tape up. It's awful!
Every month my body completely purges everything it has been holding onto. My periods are heavy, long, arduous - old furniture and books and records come out. Gold coins and anchors and treasures and lace and shoes. It's like a big clearance sale. Everything must go! That is just the way that I am built. I am just puzzled at the idea of a pantyliner or a regular tampon. I need to stuff half an emergency room in there every 28 days or I am looking at dying everything I own black. (Here's a hot tip - if you stain something with your own blood, spit on the stain - your saliva has enzymes that will break it down.unfortunately it has to be your blood and your saliva - you can't do it for anyone else)."
Wow!
YUCK!!!! NICE chinky teeth!!! What is it with the Chinese people….THE BOTTOM TEETH!!! Man!!! How ugly is that!!!!?
Re: downslide –
Wow, i had no idea. Thanks for the info
I THINK SHE'S a riot. YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR and YOURE A "guy" SO YOU CAN"T APPRECIATE HER!
how does someone discover that spitting on period blood makes it go away, but someone ELSE spitting on it does not? lol
Hilarious! If people can spew about sex, let her talk real about periods! Way to go!
i effe love her!!!
TRY OXYCLEAN IN THE WASH, IT REALLY WORKS YOU CAN GET IT AT THE GROCERY STORE. TRY IT.
she's hilarious!
hysterical. I get it - I live it - omg, you are so funny!
Honey…. put on a super plus tampon with a large overnight pad and you'll be fine. Geez… the stores are full of extra large pads and tampons and you name it. Where an adult diaper for crissakes if you need to. That's gross staining your bed… put a towel under your ass!! You might want to check with your doctor why you're bleeding so much too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honey…. put on a super plus tampon with a large overnight pad and you'll be fine. Geez… the stores are full of extra large pads and tampons and you name it. Where an adult diaper for crissakes if you need to. That's gross staining your bed… put a towel under your ass!! You might want to check with your doctor why you're bleeding so much too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damnnnnnnn….that was pretty fuckin' gross, but true!!! Kinda glad someone spoke up about what kind of nasty crap females have to go through.
Ewww dirty biitch - that's fcking gross no one needs to know any of that information. That's definitely not funny it's stupiddd.
Hey Margaret, here are some tips: A plastic mattress cover can be wiped down. Depends instead of pads or tampons.
WHAT A WIERDO.. THATS COMEDY? SINCE SHE IS CLUELESS SHE NEEDS TO VIEW OLD VAUDVILLE TAPES…
IM READY TO PUKE
She should be checked for uterine/endometrial cancer immediately! I was
diagnosed last year, after years of extra-heavy periods. I wish I had
gone much earlier to a doctor.
There are these things called mattress covers. Some of them even keep "moisture" from getting through to the mattress. LOW RENT….Shame on her.
Not funny,
just stupid!
Margaret you are one silly girl to work in a comedy routine based on your monthly deluge.
Is comedic material getting harder to come by?
I agree with some other's here - check that out with your MD - because it may turn out to be something far less than funny.
this is only a clip of mag cho's myspace blog entitled: Leave Brittney Alone..
the article starts off like this:
"Leave Britney Alone
I just saw a picture online of Britney's period stain and I am horrified. I don't know why they would post a picture of that and I really feel terrible about it. I think that the paparazzi have gone too far. It is just tasteless and barbaric. I am so sorry for Britney and I hope she ok. The only thing I can think of doing to somehow make it better is to say that this has happened to me about a million times. "
Margaret Cho isn't revealing TMI, she's simply saying that if you are a female, it has happened to YOU. If you're going to quote someone - quote the ENTIRE article and don't pull some bullshit reporter editing.
another reason for me to love margaret cho, we can relate to each other on the menstrual level.
doesn't it suck when big pieces of your uterine lining come out? one time, there was a piece that resembled a strip of bacon.
was that TMI?
I am having a D n' C (ablasion) next month precisely because it is bad. She should have that, it seems it is worse than mine!
Re: Jenn – HaHa I do the same thing!!
Eww gross, but hilarious!
Yeah, yeah, read all the comments, but really, WHO CARES? Margaret's humor and sarcasm do not escape me, she's funny and clever, but please………Margaret……..WHO CARES? Maybe this is one of those things that's funnier on stage (in front of a group of women) and not in print.
Sounds typical for someone who has had multiple abortions. I am sure that she probably has had another one recently.
Skank needs to burn her furniture….And clothing…..Maybe she just oughtta burn her entire house down…
Now, that's funny right there….I don't care who ya are.
I love MC.
We are women and we bleed.
Said like Taylor from Kid Nation "DEAL WITH IT!"
omg Margaret, same!!!!!
haha
That's just dicusting, please there are ways to cope with that use Adult size dipper for crying out loud. I do use them to sleep when I have a heavy period.
She is a disgusting unfunny pig who is pathetic. Go get sober honey and lay off the diet pills you weirdo.
sounds like she will have twins someday!
For one thing, pff, it's NOT that offensive! Big deal - it's the human body.
Secondly - O MY GOD ME TOO!!!! I hate girls who have light little four day periods! Grr! I bleed like a motherfuck for a week straight!
So glad it's not just me!
Love you, Cho!
love you, too, P-Hil.
FYI — hydrigen peroxide is great for removing any kind of stain and fantastic for blood stains.
oh shit, that would suck. I cant complain about my time of the month anymore
I am so glad she brought this long overdue MONTHLY ISSUE about being a female. Some month I feel I'm punished for being a female bc of this bloody mess! It is TIME that we as female nation have the freedom to express our frustration and resentment of having to deal with PERIOD every month! I used to hate my ex husband of 11 yrs bc he just completely didn't understand the pain and suffering that I had to go through with this bloody mess. I didn't asked to be born with it and I believe ALLAH is not being fair to women! Yes, I stained my mattress, not every month, but occasionally, come on guys….have some sensitivity and little of understanding if you want to get some. (I use Clorox Bleach). Hope this is not too much info…..deal with it. I feel better now that I can talk about it without judgement.
Guys should deal with us so we can deal with it better! I feel it is part of their job to be able to deal with it because they love it more down there. Guys…go buy us some tampons and clean after our mess. hahaha
poetic AND informative
Never really liked her…now i really don't. That gets the Photoshopped Award of the Century.
well now I have finally gotten ridd of some blood stains
Deal with it! If men menstruated they would be bitching about it 20X as much.
George Jetson when you say "stupid gook" you're only pointing out how stupid and narrow minded you are.
Well, really TMI, but since she mentioned: You can make an herbal tea from Holy Thistle herb and drink that for a lighter period. It actually will stop your period within about a day if you drink a glass of the tea. That herb is a blood thickner. A period as heavy as she described is probably not healthy or "normal" but I do know other women that have such problems. If you have a heavy period like that, you might have hormone imbalance. There is a tonic for that though (formula 636).
P.S. there's mattress pads you can get for under your sheets that are waterproof even though they are made from cloth and not plastic. I also just keep a particular set of sheets for "that time of the month" so I don't have to care if I get a stain on them. Blood doesn't wash out and why ruin set after set of sheets?
Good for her for being honest and not trying to shield people from what women really have to go through…and doing it in a (somewhat) humorous way. I applaud her bluntness - the reason it is so nasty to people (especially men) is because women sugarcoat it so as to not gross them out…IT'S A WAY OF LIFE!!!
*shiver
Men, just be thankful you don't have to deal with it and let us rant about it once in awhile! Guess what? Menstration is 100% normal and natural; why do we have to treat it as a taboo discussion subject? This was a funny and accurate description of what a lot of women go through all the time. Women aren't gross! Thanks m cho
DUDES AND LADIES- I like this one because any women or man who has their period knows its a real pain in your ass esp. when it first happens and last tapers off. Yeah, women are blessed to give birth, but what a fuckn pain and not fair. Whatever Eve did in that garden…
Esp that society always makes us hide it and be all grossed out about it. Yeah thanks. and its true, our feminine products suck. SO Screw you if you don't understnad that she is speaking the truth METEPHORICALLY you bozos. Do you think that women like to have it?
as a fellow asian,ewwww.that's really gross lmao yuck!ewww!hahaha
It's funny cause it's true. Men don't know what we women go through! This sounds like ME..it gets worse as you get older. It's so bad, I usually have to call in "sick" to work at least once a month because there's no tampon strong enough and I'm pratically anemic…I know, "gross"….but I'm glad she can joke about it. It made ME laugh.
I am so tired of hearing women piss and moan about their menstration. We all have our crosses to bear in life. Get over it.
What I do now is when I hear a woman start in with her period bullshit I just say, "You got your period? Well, guess what? I am gonna to take a big shit".
Woman talking about their periods is just as disgusting as men talking about their shitting habits.
This site is censored. Someone didn't like what i had to say because it is not posted.
I only said the truth…
Every other Asian has hepatitis. There are 4 times more Asians infected with HEP than all of the people in the world have AIDS.
She should represent her people better than she is given that nasty statistic. Talking about her blood stained mattress only brings to mind how and why the Asians are spreading the disease in such abundance.
I THINK SHE WAS DISCUSTING BEFORE I EVEN READ THAT.
SHE'S A PIG.
Within the context of the article, this all makes perfect sense. You clearly chose one paragraph out of context for mere shock value. That is quite pathetic, and, as a male you should most likely stay out of the whole discussion because you have no idea what it is even like to have or experience a "period."
Wow, I am feeling the women's pain about the periods.
I can relate to this menstration dilemma because I have simular problems with my ejaculations.
I am constantly having wet dreams where I dump loads of spunk all over my nice sheets.
I have pre cum stains in my jockstrap that I can't get out.
Lately my semen has been kinda runny. Not thick and goopy like I like it.
Oh, let me tell you about my shits. I have been having the worst diarrhea. The smell of my shit is horrendous.
Late week I took a shit and it was green! I research it on the internet and it said it could be a sign of food poisoning.
Shall I go on ladies?
Re: Aunt Flow –
YEAH… WE DIDN'T NEED TO READ THAT,
Re: Strange –
GOOD ONE!
The fact that my comment was not immediately posted only furthers my point that your website is not entirely forthcoming. Are you selecting which comments are "worthy" of posting? Interesting…As a pretty big fan of your website, I must admit, I am quite disappointed…
Re: mctwo – Diva cups are great but in her case, she bleeds so much that the back-flow (when the blood flows back into the uterus) would probably give her endometriosis problems.
Good tip about the spitting! I love when women talk about their periods. Why is it so taboo?? The more you talk about how a woman's body works the more knowledge is shared about it and the more we know how to respect it and take good care of it!
Perez, you fucking chauvenist fag, shut the fuck up. If saying that you'd like to screw someone isn't disgusting, then how is a period disgusting? GET A LIFE. ACCEPT THAT WOMEN HAVE SOMETHING THAT MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND.
To "It's Dick's Turn ": yeah yeah we get it. Whatever.
BTW, too much egg and milk might be at the source of your problem, try cutting down on it and see if you'll produce less sperm.
get some birth control sweetheart!
This is SO great! I laughed my bloody hole off! Hahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
its so true tho and she is soooo funny!
Re: No wonder why….. –
You ignorant racist. Incase you haven't noticed, Asians live to a ripe old age, not dying or suffering from Hepatitis and millions of people have talked to, touched or fucked an Asian and didn't end up with Hepatitis. If that were true, THE WHITE FUCKEN MEDIA WOULD NEVER LIVE IT DOWN. WHITES BROUGHT AIDS TO ASIA but you don't see Asians shooting their mouth off about that, you VILE HATEFUL FUCKEN RACIST.
Re: Aunt Flo is a Bitch –
we all bear the "shit cross"……………………..apples and oranges fucknut
if periods were like bowel movements we would all look forward to them!
I just saw a picture online of Britney's period stain and I am horrified. I don't know why they would post a picture of that and I really feel terrible about it. I think that the paparazzi have gone too far. It is just tasteless and barbaric. I am so sorry for Britney and I hope she is ok. The only thing I can think of doing to somehow make it better is to say that this has happened to me about a million times.
Missing part of post!
Awesome!
…because if you did, you would know that what I SAID IS THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT BUT WHAT YOU SAY HERE IS EMOTION BASED. SORRY…
PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT ASIANS AND HEP!!!!!!!!!!!! PROTECT YOURSELF
You ignorant racist. Incase you haven't noticed, Asians live to a ripe old age, not dying or suffering from Hepatitis and millions of people have talked to, touched or fucked an Asian and didn't end up with Hepatitis. If that were true, THE WHITE FUCKEN MEDIA WOULD NEVER LIVE IT DOWN. WHITES BROUGHT AIDS TO ASIA but you don't see Asians shooting their mouth off about that, you VILE HATEFUL FUCKEN RACIST.
My dearest Perez, if you were a woman, you'd know. Periods can be AWFUL, heavy and gross. Not all women have light periods and wear tampons - some women have awful times with it, some cannot wear tampons and wear all black for 7 days just to prevent embarrassment.
I know that this is indelicate but I laughed my ass off.
And for all of you idiot mysoginists out there, we need to listen to you idiots talk about your random lays, boners, listen to your farts and smell your shit when you block the toilet (frequently), and deal with it when you burp and piss on the toilet seat.
They're periods. They happen. Get over it.
Re: Jenn –
THANK YOU FOR THE AWESOME ADVICE
WEDGEING IT IS!
why is cho telling the view that she's married? when she's gay gay gay gay?
um ew… hasn't she ever heard of birth control pills? it can help that…
Has Margaret Cho ever heard of mattress pads? I think several are liquid proof. Also, she's got enough money to afford medical treatment for heavy period. Dumb bimbo. Classless.
just gross, she must not change her tampon at all, maybe once a day if that, SUPER GROSS, but known fact peroxide gets blood out too, i work with animals and we have peroxide every where, works wonders, i dont know about the spit thing tho
TMI Margaret!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ah aha hahhhahahahhahahah
Confucious sez to Ms Cho…."She who bleeds that heavy should sleep in the bathtub"
Re: anna – Anna I hate you! How did you find out us guys have all those nasty habits? Too funni hunni
Men have no idea. My boyfriend acts like there's something disgusting about it when I am on my period. He seriously doesn't want to have sex until my flow has stopped. Yet, he has the nerve to say he'll do me in the butt when I try to initiate something. So, he'd rather have my sh*t on his D*ck than a little blood. It drives me nuts. Thank God for women like Margaret.
STFU with your "truth". This has nothing to do with my emotions but your bullshit. I get my facts from my doctor, not a fucking racist who wants to spread hate towards Asians. Anybody can be responsible for spreading HepA, the kind that is communicable otherwise it would be all over the fucken news and there wouldn't be any Asian restaurants. It's true that Asians born overseas have a high chance of HepB, but most people in this country are vaccinated against HepB (including Asians). Symptoms of HepB are usually acute and the body develops immunity on its own, it is rarely chronic or results in death so it's not anywhere near the pandemic that AIDS is and shouldn't even be compared to it. That's why you see the obvious, millions and millions of old Asians (they have longer life spans than Whites I believe). So again, Asians are not "spreading" disease, so STFU.
One more reason i looooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee her! ZOMG!!! "I need to stuff half an emergency room in there every 28 days" Just like meeee!! Margaret's like meeeeeeee! Squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
XOXO
P.S.- what kind of lesbian are you, Perez???????
Re: Dre –
You people need to shut UP. ALL of Perez's comments take a minute or two to post. Do you really think Perez has time to read all of your retarded ass comments? No. He's out there partying with young Hollywood. Please don't come up with the delusion that you said something oh so conterversial and therefore important. Have you never heard the anti-gay comments on here? If Perez was filtering posts don't you think he would go for those first?
love her tip lol
she's so right
WOW. I officially love her now!! At least she's honest! You men just don't understand!
Response to #188. You are sooooooo funny!!!! I haven't laugh so out loud for so long. I have never read or heard anything like that before. That's so funny and so true! Why do guys rather have anal sex and have shit on their little d..k than having blood? That's just blows my mind! lol. Guys that are into Anal sex are soooooo disgusting and full of AIDS. ewww! Don't even come near me. Women out there…..STOP GIVING SHITTY SEX TO NASTY MEN.
Man I love that lady, she really does know what it is like to have a cracked uterus.
L O V E the article. I think it is very honest and the most poetic thing I have ever read. Margaret Cho R O C K S!
yuck! but true..haha…someone needs to tell her to lay down towels!
you should NEVER EVER EVER use a tampon overnight. it puts you at risk for toxic shock syndrome. and you do NOT want that. please, what's worse? a little stain you can bleach out the next day, or a massive staph infection?
i don't care if she talks about it. it's part of life. but i don't want to hear men bitch about women who talk about their periods. if men had to put up with them, the pill would have been invented in the 14th century. we're the ones who have to pop midol like candy to stand up straight and practice insane rituals of personal hygiene… forgive us our complaints.
all the shit you talk about and show on this site, Perez, and you want to get your panties in a wad about this?!!
I think that was fucking halarious
ooooooo sorry perez so we can talk about fucking and all other bodily functions but why are periods such a taboo still? why should we take medication 2 make it go away we are woman we have a right to our periods and to talk about them, not really sorry if this grosses u out but you let a dog who licks his own ass lick your face!
Men just suck is all. They r clueless snd wesk/
Where are your sources that you've been "reading" about Asians spreading Hep at epidemic rates? Where are the reports of White Americans catching Hep because they ate Asian food? Why isn't there a "Don't TOUCH AN ASIAN LAW"? Why aren't there travel restrictions to Asia if Asians are spreading so much disease?
For the sane and rational people, google US Hepatitis Rates Falls to New Lows (in last 40 yrs)-Washington post March 2007. Funny, that Hep rates have decreased while Asian immigration has increased in the last 40 yrs.
YOU HAVE A DISEASE. TRYING TO SPREAD HATE AND IGNORANCE THAT YOU SO EAGERLY MISCOMPREHEND AS "TRUTH" AND TRY TO PASS OFF AS "TRUTH" WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT WELL INFORMED ON THE SUBJECT.
I love her for that!
LOL….. too funny…. you dont get it perez cause you dont get a period….. haha perez quit hating on ms cho cause youre jealous she is a girl and you are not… be glad you get to not experience this…. and lighten up btw
Re: No wonder why….. – You are an idiot!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I have a few Asian friends and they don't have any types of Hepatitis! You are more than likely really young or simply uneducated!