Almost As Bad As Britney At The VMAs
Filed under: Johnny DeppJohnny Depp's wife "performed" at the NRJ Music Awards in France this past weekend.
And by performed, we mean sucked big time!
Not only did Vanessa Paradis totally lipsynch her song, but she meandered around the stage so lethargically it practically put us to sleep.
Don't do heroin before the show!
Click here to watch her shiteous performance!
Posted: January 28, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Seriously! I am stoned out of my fucking mind right now and even I think she might want to sober up a bit!
year, she's sleep walking, and tells us "fuck u all, It's me, Bitch, I've Johnny!!!"
she sucks…and still famous in France just because she's dating depp.. I hate her, she never knew how to sing anyway…
What is up with that gap??? That is all I could look at! Shove a tic tac into that thing!
she kinda looks like jorja fox from csi: las vegas…she has that gap in the teeth thing going on
She should fix those teeth. I liked the song, very good. She's not a dancer but a lot of people aren't. Also, why does everything "shiteous" have to be associated with Britney? She can't get a break on this site to save her life.
Has she been on heroine??
she's been on heroine??
HAhAHAHAHAHaHaHaHAAHAHAHaHaHaHAHAAHAHaHaHaHAHAHaHAHAHa couldn't she at least hold a f* microphone and not swing her arms around like that so that it doesn't look like they're gonna come off??
She has pretty eyes, but the rest looks like red-neck skank. She has the teeth, hair, and chin of a grade-A Appalachian.
A mic ? why ?.. In France everybody knows that she doesn't know how to sing, then, she tries not to pretend it…pfff..
Psycho-dellic!
What's up with her teeth? & I'm digging that crotch-grab-type-thing lmfao at 2:33 or 3:33, not sure, I just know it was something 33!
just fabulous
im nearly in a coma here from watching it…
She was not that bad, and she's not ugly or American so she does not want to fix her teeth..get over it you crazy perfect teeth obsessed Yanks. Also she shags Johnny Depp and spends his millions, jealous much?!
she has nice hair…?
her outfit was at least better then britney's.
They're not married. But even so, guys that look like Johnny always go for girls that look like Vanessa. And it pisses me off.
She managed to outperform Britney, Britney had attempts if you like, at dancing, then there was the clothes that made her look like a bad wrapped tamale. Overall Britney had the unintentinall comedy touch. This bitch the only thing it has is that she looks like can speak french. That's it. You need talent, or a total absence of it to top Unfitney.
I didn't mind this so much. She obviously has personal style and she was going for a "mood"…it had more of a music video vibe than a live performance…it was out of the box. I like it…better than most…and shame on those that commented she needed backup dancers…for what?
she has always "performed" like
this ever since she was 14 yrs old.
she just sucks at being on a stage.
He's only with her 'cos that big gap in her teeth makes a good place to park the front wheel of his bicycle. I predict a split in this duo in the forseeable future - bitch is no longer content to live in Johnny's shadow as the common-law wife wiping his kids noses while he gets all the attention. I thought she was an "actress" - when did she become a "singer" - er, lip-syncher. Come on back to the states, Johnny - and drop the fakey accent - you're not british, you're not french - you're American - if anything you should be speaking with a Spanish accent - Ey, ese - bienvenidos a las Estados Unidos!
I dunno, I think it suited the song really well.
Remember, not every country is as commercial as the US!
lol i think its worse at least britney attempted to dance on stage… she just walks around like a lost dog
Now how can a man as FINE as Johnny Depp be with THAT? She could shoot mashed potatos through that whole in her teeth!!!
johnny depp is so handsome and talented but apparently has the worst taste in women. this woman is atrocious- and thats me being nice. visit an orthodontist for christ's sake and eat something
She's so bloody cool. This performance is obviously giving the big finger to someone. Right on Vanessa! This chick is amazing.
she's got really terrible teeth, eh?
who the hell cares how well she can sing. she's obviously doing something right because she's shagging johnny depp. lol.
OMG she can't even move and what's up with those teeth :O she shouldn't performe.
LOL omg!!! I could have done that!!! Maybe Michael Lohan can go after her drug dealer!!!!
Vanessa Paradis is a big star in france and the francophone world. Our idea of entertainment is different from the rest of the world. Get the fuck over it she has more money and friends than you ever will.
Vanessa est une belle chanteuse.
CRAPTASTIC!
spongebob squarepants has better teeth than those
i have seen sloths that move faster than that gapped tooth anorexic! what in the hell does johnny depp see in her? i hope that doesn't reflect her energy in the sack!
Give me a break.
She is not on drugs. Does not look like she is on drugs.
Her teeth are fine. She is beautiful. She reminds me of Brigitte Bardot
We are all just used to so much staged production.
Some people are performance artist , some are just wonderful singers.
Just dating? They have 2 children together.. Shes not on drugs she was always like that, uncomfortable on stage… Even when she was singing as a child..
everyone keeps talking about her teeth.. i really don't think that Europeans are obsessive about those types of things like Americans. I know Asians from Asia aren't.. they don't care about beautiful teeth like this country does.
Re: nat –
I AGREE RON PAUL!!
RON PAUL!
RON PAUL!
WHAT?!?!?! And Johnny Depp is banging her? What has the world become?!?
that is ridiculous!
bravo Vanness !!! t'es la meilleure et les anglo-sax'c'ons sont tous des putains de jaloux de leurs race !!! Yeah !
I have seen Vanessa Paradis perform before and this is pretty much the norm for her. She is not really a dancer or a trained pop tart monkey, she is more of a singer and an actor. She is popular in France which is like, a whole different country than the U.S. with different tastes than us.
Johnny is not married to Vanessa. They don't want to 'ruin a good thing' by getting married to they are just living their lives in a 'committed relationship'. Get it right Perez.
I would never fuck with Johnny Depp.
The French like that affected slower than brain dead style for pop singers since the hey day of Francoise Hardy. Paradis is another example of why French pop never makes it anywhere outside their borders — boring.
that was AMAZING! it wasnt bad!
well…i like the song.
I actually like the song but she looks stupid singing it. I have to say, Britney's performance was much better!
She is a very beautiful woman, and I do like her teeth- ever heard of Lauren Hutton you fucks? You all want women to look the same like they do in America- fake tits and fake rows of teeth. She should have put some effort into performing, it was boring as shit. I think she knew it though.
Forget the song or the lipsync….someone tell me where her amazing dress is from! NiCE!
Wheres the mic???
Did I just drop acid?
NOT HIS WIFE. THEY ARE NOT MARRIED.
Re: GemmaRue – you are awesome!!! I totally agree with you!!
The French do many things well - Rock n Roll/Pop will never be one of them.
HAHA, no seriously, this was worse than Britney.
that is ridiculous, she didnt even fake it…at least a microphone would have been good!
she is gross….i bet he bought her another island for this shit
Johnny!?!?!?! PLEASE fix your wife's teeth!! I beg of you! And then stick her in rehab…you have kids, for goodness sakes!
they are not married but have 2 children together ,man he could do so much better! shes not very attractive in fact quite plain compared to johnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wtf!
I REALLY THINK HER TEETH ARE PRETTY, FOR A CRACK HEAD
A walk in the clouds
Since I can remember, she has always had this gap between her teeth. Also, she is the same weight that she was 15 + years ago.
PS: Do you know that having a gap between your teeth can bring you luck????
Do they have trailer parks in france!
girl needs to use some of her and johnny's big bucks and get some false teeth!
god, she is so gorgeous.
her teeth are amazing as well, americans have way too much of a problem about teeth. obviously a bit fucked up from being over weight, stupid as fuck cunts.
i dont even see the mic
at leat britney "seemed" to be singing her song
I watched the video and I was all, "WTF" like everyone else. But after reading the comments and seeing she did it on purpose, I still like her. I'm wondering why this awards show doesn't want anyone to sing live. Can someone from France answer that question for me?
Secondly, let's not attack somone by calling them "American" like it's some big insult. Both France and the UK have bad crap about them, so enough already. Also, who cares about her damn teeth? She's pretty and I happen to like her voice even though I don't speak a word of French. I just got her English language album and loved it!!! I was actually wondering if someone who is a big fan can tell me which album of hers I should get next. Even though I don't speak French, I still really like her voice.
HEY GUYS, SHE WAS PERFORMING LIKE THIS WHEN SHE WAS 14 SINGING "JOE LE TAXI" AND SHE HAS ALWAYS PERFORMED THIS WAY, SO IT IS JUST HER, I THINK IT IS FUN BECAUSE PRETTY NON SENSE, AS BRITNEY THAT WE ALL LOVE, KISS U PEREZ
maybe next time she could just hum along…with her lips closed? cause, dayum.
Man, this sucks. What was everyone thinking when they decided to make her go on stage?
her teeth are definetly the most entertaining part of this performance
Re: Tabitha – You should definitively get "Divine Idylle", I loved all of her songs, it's a great album
You can search for her songs and video clips on You Tube, they are all there
Re: Tabitha – You should definitively get "Divine Idylle", I loved all of her songs, it's a great album
.
You can search for her songs and video clips on You Tube, they are all there
Re: Tabitha – You should definitively get "Divine Idylle", I loved all of her songs, it's a great album
You can search for her songs and video clips on You Tube, they are all there
Fix the fucking GAAAP!!!! Please!!!!!!!
Funny how Perez does not mention that 'Blackout' won best international album..
tisk tisk tisk Perez, Johnny will roll your fat ass off your 15 minutes of fame for those nasty jabs your made.
Johnny is a man deeply immersed in his family and is wickedly protective over them (as any father and husband should be) Yes I know they are not "legally" married, but to him they are soul mates.
Just wait and see Porky, Johnny will bitch slap you over this.
at least look like you're trying!!! the most you see her do is a little half-hearted shoulder shimmy. i guess she's going for nuance???
Now that's a real disaster a woman with natural teeth! Good god….It is a normal way for a lot of French singers to perform like that. Not all singers do work out during a performance! Paradis is a great singer by the way.
I think she's gorgeous. Also, if I were dating Johnny Depp it's like I'd care about anything else!
And you're all a bunch of shallow assholes, btw. I hate how I read the same website as you. I should stop.
this would be acceptable IF she actually SANG LIVE!!! lip-synching and no real action?? HIDEOUS!
She doesn't even have a mic!!! If ur gonna lip sync at least bring a fake mic with you!!!
This was bad. I thought she was going to fall off the stage. Unenthusiastic or on drugs, or perhaps arrogant/indifferent. Those teeth, man. With all that money, get to Gentle Dental - STAT!
Now I know what to watch when I'm having trouble sleeping!
I thought she was supposed to be pretty. The only thing pretty about her is her name. She not only has a Madonna Gap but gaps between all of her teeth.
I thought she got her teeth fixed……:(
Hey Americans..just because you can't understand French………….. I feel sorry for you!
she's so ugly! how did she get johnny, honestly?
P.S.
I think Vanessa is beautiful and I am very sad for all of you unfortunate people who are obbessed with the same cookie-cutter, clone-me-barbie-image that you buy into that all women should look the same. Her teeth are beautiful, just like the rest of her. She has talent, class, brains, beauty, depth and orginality.
Thank God there are still people in this world who are orginal and geniune.
Vanessa is skinnier so she gets extra points in dog race. Brittany tripped a few times so extra points for doing more drugs.
Its a dog race to the finish….
FRANCE is not EUROPE. France is a country in EUROPE but does not equal the entire continent. Frech people are hated all over Europe. Nobody likes these stuck up SNOBS. The country itself is great but the people suck ass. Rude, ugly and arrogant. This is not European. This is French and just an example France never scores big anymore at Eurovision. Not saying that is a great show but at least it gives you an idea what people in Europe like and France does not rank high.
lmao
listless.
too cool to get into her own music or maybe she hasnt enough energy to get into it.
not eating you know, low sugar.
She has the teeth of a 6 year old! ewwww
This performance was about as exciting as watching wheat grow. Plus, nice teeth. Does she ever brush them?
*facepalm* Is she serious?
OMG - WHERE DO I BEGIN? FOR STARTERS, JOHNNY'S LOVER (THEY AREN'T MARRIED) HAS TO FIX THE SPLIT BETWEEN HER TEETH. NEXT, SHE NEEDS TO LAY OFF WHATEVER DRUG (SMACK? METH?) THAT'S MAKING HER SO SKINNY AND LAST, EAT SOME CHEESEBURGERS - HEAVY ON THE SAUCE - EXTRA LARGE FRIES AND A CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKE! TO THINK JD COULD HAVE ANYONE AND THIS IS WHO HE ENDS UP WITH? SHE MUST BE AN AMAZING, KIND INDIVIDUAL WITH A FANTASTIC PERSONALITY.
Re: Jack – HER TEETH ARE BEAUTIFUL IF YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR A TUNNEL TO RUN YOUR TRAIN THROUGH!
Wait… He's married? Ahahah…
She's really gross lookin. She looks like an old haggard crack head bum.
Don't they have enough money to get her gappy teef fixed?!
Pretty…PRETTY BORING!!!!
Actually she was being French, not stoned. Know the diff you fat fag.
she doesn-t even have a mike