Almost As Bad As Britney At The VMAs
Filed under: Johnny DeppJohnny Depp's wife "performed" at the NRJ Music Awards in France this past weekend.
And by performed, we mean sucked big time!
Not only did Vanessa Paradis totally lipsynch her song, but she meandered around the stage so lethargically it practically put us to sleep.
Don't do heroin before the show!
Click here to watch her shiteous performance!
Posted: January 28, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I just couldn't believe how bad this was so I checked out her videos on Youtube. I hate to say it, but they weren't much better. She was cute when she was a teenager, but that high pitched little girl whisper sounds lame coming from a 35 year old. The thing in all her videos is that her eyes are dead. She has zero personality. To check out the video of the song she performed got to youtube and check out vanessa paradis. The song title is De' que j te vois. Be warned…..if you are easily offended…….there is a major close-up of her mouth. The gap is disgusting! You can actually see a fleshy part of her gum hanging in between like a cold sore.
what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!is this is serious not only she sucks at singing and just moving around like a retard on the stage shes also fucken ugly really ugly with her big gap tooth!!! I depp with her!!!!is he crazy
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Re: Rei – So what? Who cares? What does that have to do with anything? He can still have an opinion on a French person's performance.
She was shit. Deal with it. She has ALWAYS been shit.
The only reason she is even in the industry is because she got in when she was young!!!!
As for her teeth, well who cares. It's her teeth, not mine or yours. But I know half of you all like Madonna so don't act like you are disgusted, and say she has "rotten" teeth when you know fine well that it's just a gap and it's not a big deal. My point though-
Isn't it funny the kind of person Johnny Depp has for a partner? Seems this is the first time most of you have seen/heard any of her stuff. She always was this bad. It's funny that Johnny claims to be against mainstream this, and p that, when his wife is basically your typical American/British/etc empty headed pop singer, and he is with her.
But I guess it's okay since she's French and not American….
They are all the same!!! Just different nationalities¬!!!
'You can't help who you fall in love with' is right, but you shouldn't be so vocal about lame idiots that you claim to hate when you're actually married to one (okay not married but long term with kids..same difference)
She basically looks like Kate Moss too, who Johnny used to date. Funny thing is, Kate can probably sing and dance better than her.
Dumb Bitches saying they're not married… THEY ARE MARRIED… they married not too long ago… altough i agree shes not very pretty for THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN… I LOVE JOHNNY! He's so freaking hot!
I don't care who you are…if you don't want to perform, then don't perform at least a little. To all of you saying "you just don't understand the lyrics!" here it is translated to english (roughly): Um…whatever guys. This is a shit performance, it doesn't matter what she looks like, but just standing there is telling the audience that you don't care, and that isn't an entertainer's job.
If it had been done,
One would have the effect
That one has each time
If it had been done
One would have the effect
that one is done
As soon as I see you
Dè qu I see you,
I know that it is you
As soon as you see me, you
know that it is me
I acknowledge this play kills to me
If you tell me good-bye
Dè qu I see you,
I know that it is you
This you this I this you
Who plays with fire
Dè qu I see you,
I know that it is you
I do not resist any more
I saw in your glance
Disappeared remorses
I return, it is too late
Remember this was in France…she probably wa a big hit. That's the fucked-up culture that gave the world Piaf, the bird-faced skid who sang like she had a Black&Decker vibrator shoved up her ass.
I kind of like the French whispery voice, and didn't mind the lip-synching or stage-wandering. But those teeth are going to give me bad dreams for a long time to come. Johnny - I know they have dentists in France — pick up la telephoné au jourd'hui!
HEROIN is the best drug ever!!! The world would be a better place if everyone was on the horse!!!!!!!!
BALL OF FIRE ISN'T SHE!!!!!!!!!!! AND NO MEAT ON HER BONES!!!!! SHE PROBABLY HURTS HER CHILDREN WHEN SHE CARRIES THEM( IF SHE CAN CARRY THEM )
NICE TEETH BITCH!
She ain't no Lauren Hutton. Nice to know you don't need teeth, tits, talent, or a hairdresser to procreate with Johnny Depp. They'll never marry tho.
Didn't grunge end in the 90's?
I did like the song and the set however.
It's like Kate Moss' corpse brought back to life…by lifeless music. I think Britney and Vanessa are in a dead heat for most dead. Tres grotesque!
she looks like a hippie flower child. And how could she compete with that elaborate backdrop, I mean christ she must be all of 87 lbs up against a bunch of giant green psychadelic flowers. She is too pretty, and I actually thought the song was nice.
wtf?! is this what it takes to be a singer now??? she was just walking around, she didn't even knew how to walk, she looked retarded….. Crack is Whack!!! at least Brit's performance got me entertained…. I never thought there would be a performance worse than Brit's… well, this is it….
FIX THOSE DAMN TEETH!
Re: rba –
i have nuthin but love for french people. that bein said, y r u so quick to bash americans sayin how they need to take care of their own disasters. this comment makes u no better than those who bash your counrty. by the way, im canadian.
response to mostly everyone : If you can't appreciate music without having a light show and synchronized gyrating bodies to salivate at then maybe you don't really like music as much as you do the showmanship? Ok. thats fine. but please don't say things like heroin. That's just mean and not true. she tried something new and it didn't quite work. Give her a brake for not satisfying your ravenous appetites for yet another spectacle. She's a mellow chick and really doesn't feel she needs to prove herself to anyone. That's just her.
She does have a great voice for lullabyes and she's gorgeous. Why should she get her teeth fixed for you when she has johnny depp?! Now that's funny.
-peace out you crazy hooligans
LET's JUST REPEAT IT AGAIN.
Vanessa was pushed into performing on the NRJ awards. NRJ is a big radio station in France. The threat was simple: you don't perform, you won't get airplay. So she was basically coerced into doing something. This was her way of saying: OK, have it as you like, but on my terms. Kudos to her.
The rest of them simply lipsynched their way through the evening (including Deline Cion and Rihanna). At least, her performance challenged the notion that you can't sing live. Maybe next time they will let her do a live performance.
And slinging the heroin accusation around is rather crappy.
so that was really bad. and what's up with that gap in her teeth though. i think jonny has enough money to get that fixed
At least Brit tried! This girl is definitely on crack or something
is that how they get down in france?…lol what a joke, i put it one right before i went to bed to put me to sleep
Oh, Puke.
SHE LOOKS SHOT OUT
I didn't see anything wrong with her performance. The French realize that this is a recorded and not live version of the song and they don't care, something the Americans need to learn. Recording a song in the studio is hard work as well, and totally equal to singing live. Vanessa is famous for these moves she made on stage, that's her style, very feminine and sweet. As for her teeth, they are what set her apart, like Barbra Streisand's nose.Why do we all have to have fake large square blinding white teeth? I can't believe how good she looks after 20 years in show business and two children!
She looks like a vampire, but Johnny loves her and that says a lot. She may not be his wife, but they have two children together so let's all get over it. Like Britney's song — this one rocks.
I'm not very surprise by her performance that totally her …because maybe it's the first time you saw her perform….but she's always been like that…Vanessa is unique and so not a drug addict…i met her and she's down 2 earth and so sweet ….those french people they have ”ce je ne sais quoi!!” xx
Re: lula – Let's repeat this again.
She F*cked herself. Film last forever, and half the world doesn't know she was in a feud with NPR, so she just looks like an idiotic drug zombie. Check out her videos on Youtube. Her eyes are dead in everyone. She can't dance, she has zero personality, and she sings like she's out of breath after running a race with helium shoved up her ass.
I gather most people that post here have never seen (or heard of!)Eurovision? That is what to watch if you want to see bad singing and dancing. Vanessa just moved to matched the mood of the song. It's not a Britney-like pop song so why should she move like Britney?
As for those who say Johnny has bad taste in women, HA! So Winona Ryder and Kate Moss weren't good looking when Johnny was dating them? Some poeple are so very, very ignorant.
It's not the kind of performance that Americans are used to seeing.. we like our lip synchers to make more of an effort, so we can at least be in denial. I think she should have used a mic. Maybe then, she would have more to do with her hands, something to focus on, and not look so doped up. She's really beautiful, though.
okay wait excuse me..almost as bad? ITS FUCKING FAR WORSE THAN BRITNEYS VMA PERFORMANCE you fucktard! do u really hate britney that bad?
this bitch barely danced. you call that effort? she walked around and lyp sanc like a 5 year old cant even do that. eww.
I liked the song a lot, and the performance was at least different.
She needs to get that fucking grill fixed though. She could have just whistled through the gap if she wanted to.
ummm, even lip-synchers know the value of a Microphone, whether it's turned oN is another story.
SHE LOOKS LIKE A JUNKIE!
… Well she must be a really, really lovely person and an absolute firecracker in bed coz she sure as shit ain't a looker, is she??!! Yes the teeth are nasty little pointy numbers of which Gollum would be proud, but the deep set eyes are also rather unattractive.
Perez you nailed it. Complete craptastic! do something lady. and get your damn teeth fixed.
This made me want to go get a coffee and electricute myself
this is mesmorizing… beautiful…
is she missing a tooth?
Bwah ha ha ha! Oh my effin GAWD!!!!!! Those are the most turrrrrible teethies I have evr seen! What the "eff???" C'mon Johnny…give Ur baby momma some veneers! This drugged out performance made shitney's look professional. Good thing she has a "sponsor"/renter of her womb. If she didn't win the vagina lottery, she'd be giving blow jobs for crank. Trust me….Junkie whore who just effed the right guy. I feel a bit bad for her kids…but they have nannies. Hope this slut has a nanny too. Skanky whooooo errr!
Britney was awesome compared to this. that was frigging painful to watch…wanted it to end badly!!
That was hilarious.
So what if her teeth aren't great? She could fix them but then she'd just be boring like most american celebrities are. At least she's interesting and not desperate.
God you guys have no respect. Im guessing your all just immature, fat little Americans who only hate her because shes with Johnny Depp! All of you are whining about her teeth, theres nothing wrong with the gap, it gives her a bit of personality. And she doesnt do drugs you idiots! She has 2 kids, why the fuck would she do heroin?? You judge one performance that shes lip-synched to, yet B.S does that all the time. Clearly you guys dont know talent, cuz your all mind-less Americans. And I doubt any of you know a shit about French. You guys are all just jealous Americans. I laugh at you. Im so not going on this site anymore. YOU SUCK PEREZ! Your all obsessed with Britney Spears.
=D
The perez's comment is stupid because in Europa Vanessa Paradis - mother of Johnny's children - is a big star and a singer very talended. Her voice is inimitable, she got a particular universe. You don't able to understand because you have Britney and France have Vanessa Paradis.
Cute song - don't know enoughfrench to understand but cute regardless. Yes, the teeth are bad but in some countries that is ok. HOWEVER, with that being said, she is beautiful and if the teeth were fixed would be even more so.
For all those commenting on her teeth, she has always had that cute gap, I think shes gorgeous, but yes that performance was hideous!!
I have been living in Paris for one year and a half and most French women look like that… have a body of a 13 y.o. adolescent boy and bad teeth. Believe it or not, they like this kind of music!!! It's a very different culture.
At least she's taking care of her children !!!
Britney is a total shame..
i got thirty seconds into the vidio and couldn't watch the rest
this was supposed to be a statement against lypsynching which is often required at awards show…she knew it wasn't going to be live, only playback…so she just decided to meander around the stage instead….
#58 - Marie says – reply to this
"Hi, I'm French and you have to know that she didn't want to go at those NRJ Music Awards (big shit for a show). As they didn't want her to sing 'live', she said she would do any efforts and sing without micro. She's just a rebel as her husband."
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#79 - Frenchboy says – reply to this
She did this consciously, The radio station that organises this show threatened her: if she did not perform she would not be broadcasted anymore. So she did what we call in France "le strict minimum". that is to do as less as you can. She completly assumed it.
ils s'en foutent de savoir le pourquoi du comment… tout ce qui les interresse, c'est de trouver une deuxieme britney spears pour egayer leur triste vie lol
ils ne prennent meme pas le temps de vous lire… ils sont americains… ouups
she's with johnny depp? she's got "seed of chucky teeth"!
I lovre you Perez, but in the case of Vanessa Paradis it's not correct. She's not like Britney a dancer and a singer. She has a little voice and she sing and perform always like that. It's a french singer not an american singer with 20 dancers around her and a big show.
isn't that the awards ceremony where britney won best album?? hmmm
and that performance was so pathetic i actually think brit put her to shame - at least wear a mic
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I think she looks cute. And the gap between her teeth is sexy:) she looks like a character from Tim Burton's movies. And prop thats why johny likes her.
I don't agree with what you wrote, I appreciate a lot her performance… she is a great singer ( even if there she didn't sang really) , she's just very very calm…
Re: Ockteb –
No your a psycho I would probably get a restraining order on
[size=24][b]don't hate on my girlfriend. alright i command 10 of u to give me me head[/b][/size]
I find it interesting that these "pop" singers are required to "perform". This word that people use implies they must be doing something on stage: dancing? This vexes me as when you listen to a musician, you are are LISTENING no? How you dance shouldn't matter, correct, otherwise people would be going to dance shows. I go to my favorite metal band Nightwish's concerts to listen to them sing, not watch them dance… while I understand 99% of pop singers can't sing worth a damn, I'm wondering why it matters so much that they dance? (Is it the legacy of Michael Jackson? Damn you Michael! Lol… though his old music was actually good.)
Not his wife. Mother of his children. Not the wife.
At least Britney moved…this looks like she doe'sn't know what she is doing. I wonder if she thinks it is sexy. She does have a sweet face……but has to get rid of the huge gap.
HAHAHA wow that actually makes me laugh. i will admit that that song is almost kinda catchy.
but check out those chompers.. if she's married to Johnny Depp, i think she has the.. resources to get that fixed.
Dang, dude. Condoleeza Dep's in the house, all french and shit.
To all those nitwits complaining about the gap between her teeth: that is what natural teeth look like. Not everybody needs caps, grilles or god knows what else. When I see those pearly white fake teeth that everybody in the US has, it makes me want to puke. So unnatural.
Re: Skrimps – You: Find a brain surgeon, Get a life, Find a man you look so desperate, all american girls are fake, and Im sure you must be so damn ugly, shit bag.
I watched the ceremony last week end, and I agree that's it's very awful ! But in fact,Vanessa doesn't appreciate all big shows,tv performance,she only makes only one or two interviews by year but that's all… ! So she doesn't want to participate at the ceremony,but she was nominated for the best french song of the year,and she was obliged to sing… in playback ! so she has just thought that if she was obliged to sing in playback,she doesn't want to lie to the audience so she sung without a microphone… !!
what explains her very bad performance !
(oh sorry for my poor english :/)
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SHE IS SURE MORE PRETTY (AND CLEVER ) THAN 80 % OF PEREZ HILTON 'S READERS, EVEN WITH HER TEETH WHICH ARE CONSIDERS AS CHARMING IN FRANCE.
SHE WAS A MODEL FOR CHANEL TWICE !!!
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She doesn't take drugs, fuck u Perez. She's not Britney, she still has her kids. The fact is that she didn't want to go there because they didn't let her sing in live, so she performed without mic, Rebel as Her husband. For the stupid asses, They're married. Brian Warner (M.Manson) was there.
FUCK YOU ALL YOU VACUOUS BRAINLESS PORCELAIN VENEERED FUCKHEADS. WE
DON'T ALL WANT FAKE LOOKING TEETH THAT DON'T EVEN FIT IN OUR MOUTHS
PROPERLY. GO SHAVE YOU VAGINAS YOU FAKE FREAKS.
She is not on drug she is just very shy and uncomfortable.I have seen her several times on stage and believe me she rocks!!! Learn to know her, listen to her album and wath hers movies.
Sorry guys but she is not "dating" Johnny Deep, in fact for a french girl "dating" doesn't mean anything, and for her case she is living with him for almost 10 years and have two kids together, that is just has being married for me! Come on Vanessa your performance was not good but you are still the best!
Notre Vanessa est belle et naturelle, elle ne triche pas avec un micro en plastique
Ses dents, on les appelle "les dents du bonheur" en francais
Ne soyez pas jaloux elle a juste TOUT!
Une petite francaise qui aime Vanessa!
Re: john – They're married fuckhead.
Vous êtes stupide, ce n'est pas parce que ce n'est pas un grand show avec 100 danseurs & cie façon hollywood que c'est de la merde !
Ah, sacrés americains !
Re: lula – Well said Lula - what the eff is this (mainly) American obsession with so-called "perfect" (for that, read "fake looking") teeth. I think she is pretty and this gives her an edge of individuality. Also, I keep reading "should have worn a mic" comments. DUH! why? She isn't actually singing, she's lip-synching - what on earth would she she need one for? Or are you again obsessed with fakeness?
Her teeth? Uh, hello? HAven't you heard the old joke about the british/Europeans teeth?? That explains that part.
I liked the song…yet, I get the reasoning for the slamming her performance. At least her lipsynching wasn't completely off….
I see this performance as….1) A newbee nervousness 2) who set this up for her to do this performance??
It looks like a newbee nervous first time put in a BAD stage performance! Fire her manager or choreographer or…whomever it was that created this scene!
Bad call!!
She looks good! The teeth are NATURAL something you dont find in the US anymore?! Much better than all the fake ass americans!
(although Im not crazy about her music, but she's with Johnny so who cares…)
I can't believe I wasted bandwidth on that
That's not "shiteous", it's just French!
Wtf!? I mean, everyone who has ever seen Vanessa on stage knows she is the best!!! Her last tour was just amazing!
)
Here she is clearly lipsynching and she is not even trying! as you all said, wht abt the mic?! Well, im glad i did not watch the NRJ music award but I'm sure there is a proper explanation for that! She was probably forced to lipsynch and just did not want to bother pretending…
Love her songs, love her personnality! She is great!! (even with her little tooth flaw…
My 1st comment!
I think it really isn't that bad… People round here were making fun of the NRJ Music Awards even before the ceremony because everyone had to lipsynch, which was making the show really stupid… I think she was actually making fun of that, not even taking a mic… It's what I heard, and what I think… And actually, it will make her much less ridiculous…
oh and btw, she started her career at 14 so i don't think it is a newbee nervous thing… and really guys, you should stop seeing the world, and obviously what you don't know, through stereotypes… It is quite sad sometimes to read your comment about Europe and France… but I guess my comment is worthless for u since I'm French…
Anyways, Take care you all, and come visit France if you have the possibility to do so, I'm sure you will be happily surprised!
I Love it!
the difference between France and the US is that female artists in France do not have to strut around on stage in a bikini with perfect choreographed moves to be successful. Vanessa Paradis has way more personality and presence than even your best artist.
That was just foul. I could only tolerate the first 15 seconds!!
why is such a DELICIOUS man with such a freak show??? she makes Amy winehouse look like she has the right idea.
I totally agree! please, don't try drugs or you'll make this kind of things…
The worst is not her "performance" or that fucking song, the worst is at the end when people applaud ¿? what a f***????
Ah well, she's still hot and she has the privilege to get it on with mr. Depp. She basically has it all already, so she has the right to perform badly
A- The teeth looks really sexy, don t know what you have against a natural smile better than an all white hollywood sucker smile with blond hair, and big boobs. Do you know what natural is ????
B- This is not gossip, she was actually pissed of with NRJ and she didn t want to perform. The NRJ awards is a shit show that no ones watch in France !
This is not bad. Vanessa doens't perform jumping around stage. She is somewhat childish in her performing and sure hell doesn't do drugs.
VANESSA PARADIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FRENCH RECORD SELLER. FRENCH PEOPLE HATE PERFORMANCE FROM U.S. WHORES. THEY CONSIDER SINGERS LIKE POETS JUST SINGING THEIR POEMS SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO MOVE THEIR HOOKER'ASS AND SHOUT LIKE WHORIA CAREY. AT THE NRJ MUSIC AWARDS EVERYBODY WAS WAITING FOR VANESSA AND NOBODY CARED ABOUT CELINE DION'S PERFORMANCE. CELINE DION = AMERICAN KITSCH FAKE PERFORMER; VANESSA PARADIS = FRENCH NATURAL TALENTED POET. VANESSA IS BEAUTIFUL, SHE WAS CHANEL'S N°5 PERFUME ICON DURING THE 90'S AND THOSE TEETH ARE NEVER FIXED IN FRANCE BECAUSE WE CALL IT "DENTS DU BONHEUR" (TEETH OF HAPPYNESS) AND IT BRINGS YOU LUCK ! ARROGANT YANKEES WE FUCK YOU, YOUR FAKE BOOBS, YOUR BLEACHED TEEETH AND YOUR MUTILATED CIRCUMCIZED COCKS !!!
She's beautiful and that gap in her teeth is damn sexy. She's French. She has class. something that all you bitches will never have. Oh, and she's doing a minimum performance on purpose. Because she's a rebel. just like Johnny. Cool as fuck.
Haha! The french ADORE shiteous stuff like that…
If I were Vanessa I wouldn't dare call myself a "singer" and "perform" on stage!
And I wonder what Johnny thinks of this "stuff". Love makes blind!
yeah bitch theyre not even married.. getur shit straight.
You can drive a John Deer tractor between her two front teeth.
I bet she can squirt a glass of water 2 meters.
Wow. How to do you "practice" for something like that? Maybe a meal or two within the week prior to the show would have provided her with some kind of energy.
I LIKE her teeth. They have character. They're not brown so it's all good. Mr Paradis has wonky teeth too, a welcome relief from the creepy denture smile favoured by most Hollywood A-listers. I do hope this performance WAS supposed to be some sort of comment on the state of the industry though…otherwise it's just shit.
D x
I don't think she's doing heroine. She obviously needs to eat something else.
1. Does she realize that she is singing in front of a large audience? and
2. I hope that is not the way she seduced johnny into bed.
wot is up with her TEETH? YUCK!! Bad breath! eeww
It might have been nice if she wore a mike or something to make us think she was singing.
I'm American and a lot of people who are older like past 30(and not an American teen) understand her type of performance. She's not a Madonna or Britney. All that lavishness was never needed before the dawn of the Madonnas. That's a fairly new concept. She's a singer and musician and in her 30's. She doesn't need to gyrate around the stage for some mindless teens who don't know anything about music. She has her own unique style. NOT ALL SINGERS HERE HAVE THE BRITNEY TYPE OF PERFORMANCES anyway. It's so close-minded to think everyone should be like Britney and the like. Who are the committee that said everyone had to have back-up dancers?
Vanessa Paradis is a teen star who has not performed on stage in eons. She has spent the past 10-15 years raising her children. Yeah it's lackluster compared to American performances with dancers and fireworks… She is very talented and this performance is **very typical** of French variety shows.