Headline of the Week Weak
Filed under: Headline of the Week > Australiastic
"Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat"
Brilliant! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.
Man Claims to Speak 'Australian' After Allegedly Being Raped by Wombat
A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he was raped by a wombat and the experience had made him speak "Australian".
Arthur Ross Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police on February 11 and told them he was being raped at his home by the wombat and he needed help, The Nelson Mail newspaper reported.
The orchard worker later called back and said: "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right, you know."
Cradock pleaded guilty in the local court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose. He was sentenced to 75 hours' community work.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.
huh?
A few things = NONE OF YOU ARE FIRST AND NO ONE CARES IF U ARE. Don't be a loser - give it a rest!!! There are people all the way down to number 40 saying first - idiots!!! I want to read real comments not this first shit.
Secondly, AUSTRALIA and NEW ZEALAND are different coutries as 'Ally' apparently fails to notice. This is pathetic. How dare you think your better than us when you don't even realise that. Dick. Someone commented earlier that you should go pour hot tea down your cunt - DAMN RIGHT. Get some good old Aussie sand up there too.
BTW Im a mongrel - Aussie mum and Kiwi dad, so while I sympathise with the kiwi that was just trying to have a laugh, GO THE WOMBAT lol.
Much love all (Perez is the shizz!!)
ALL RIGHT PEREZ…….
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I NEED A PICTURE OF MARIO LOPEZ IN A SPEEDO DRIPPING WET AND FLEXING HIS SEXY AWESOME MUSCLES AND ACTING COCKY
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.
.
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THAT WOULD REALLY GET ME OF!!!!!!
Haha. I'm a Kiwi and I find that hilarious. Pff since when do we have wombats in New Zealand?
Re: sheri from Oz –
FUCK OFF SHERI YOU SLAG
first of all - ally you're a fucking retard. the article is about a new zealander…. not an australian. NZ also has cities - might pay to check your facts before you start talking shit on here…. might also pay to learn to read.
secondly - the last time there was anything about NZ on here it was about that American Idol guy Sangia (my spelling is wrong I know) and he was in his kitchen, topless but wearing jeans with his New Zealand undies poking out the top.
Perez - next time you put something about NZ on your delicious site can you please make it something we can be a bit proud of?????
Well fuk… the first time NZ is mentioed on Perez its for a deformed lamb now it for some loser from Motueka who hasn't been laid in so long he's faking rooting an animal.
Tops NZ… Tops.
No wonder people take the piss.
Re: Ally – FUCK YOU.
I LOVE YOU PEREZ YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME
OMG!!!!!!!!! NEW ZEALANDER ND PROUD!!!!!!!!!!
NZ
Damn, Perez, stop stealing all your items from Popbitch!!! They did this yesterday and in their mailout.
Re: Ally – you are a fucking idiot! you british still have villages and you have the nerve to say australia is country.Get a job, travel,LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD. Better still, go back to school and learn how to read!
At least he wasnt fucking a sheep
Much Luv to my NZ neighbours… we both shit all over the US, I just like to take the piss.
Seriously Perez. Im from New Zealand. this is a Joke, its funny how many Americans actually believe this is true LOL
wombat rape is no joke!its the leading cause of wombat like children,,all of them have the word bat in there name,baware the wombat,,
You know what they say about wombats????? EATS ROOTS AND LEAVES!!!!!!!!
I HOPE ALLY READS THIS
I want to make a couple ponts to her ignorant ass.
1) oh yay, im from england, woo fucking hoo Ally. When the English colonised New Zealand, they introduced fatal diseases to the indigenous people, at the expense of sooo many innocent beautiful men, woman, and children..
2) the english set about destroying the culture of this distant land for absolutly no reason, except the blatant vanity that led them to believe that they are are a superior race and all others are savages (i guess somethings never change huh!?)
So to everyone that agrees with the ignorance and bullshit of believeing a single race/nationality is better than another, you can go take your hairsprayed, stupid, dumb, grease covered, imitation asses and stick our head where the physical and mental pollution you yourselfs created, and take a deep breath.
fuck all this im better than you bull shit. ALLY AND IGNORNANT OTHERS…… the english monarchy ruined my country like they ruined many others, if you think this is something of be proud of, of that your better than us because of it, so be it, but i dont think you have any right to speak of what you dont actually know.
I HOPE ALLY READS THIS
I want to make a couple ponts to her ignorant ass.
1) oh yay, im from england, woo fucking hoo Ally. When the English colonised New Zealand, they introduced fatal diseases to the indigenous people, at the expense of sooo many innocent beautiful men, woman, and children..
2) the english set about destroying the culture of this distant land for absolutly no reason, except the blatant vanity that led them to believe that they are are a superior race and all others are savages (i guess somethings never change huh!?)
So to everyone that agrees with the ignorance and bullshit of believeing a single race/nationality is better than another, you can go take your hairsprayed, stupid, dumb, grease covered, imitation BAPE and what not asses and stick our head where the physical and mental pollution you yourselfs created, and take a deep breath.
fuck all this im better than you bull shit. ALLY AND IGNORNANT OTHERS…… the english monarchy ruined my country like they ruined many others, if you think this is something of be proud of, of that your better than us because of it, so be it, but i dont think you have any right to speak of what you dont actually know.
Oh this makes me cringe… I am from NZ.
Of all the things that could have been mentioned about NZ on this site (eg Michelle Rodriguez was recently here) and Perez chooses this story? Ha ha.
The guy has a screw lose. A few tinnies short of a 6-pack if you know what I mean…
I HOPE ALLY READS THIS
I want to make a couple ponts to her ignorant ass.
1) oh yay, im from england, woo fucking hoo Ally. When the English colonised New Zealand, they introduced fatal diseases to the indigenous people, at the expense of sooo many innocent beautiful men, woman, and children..
2) the english set about destroying the culture of this distant land for absolutly no reason, except the blatant vanity that led them to believe that they are are a superior race and all others are savages (i guess somethings never change huh!?)
So to everyone that agrees with the ignorance and bullshit of believeing a single race/nationality is better than another, you can go take your hairsprayed, stupid, dumb, grease covered, imitation BAPE and what not asses and stick our head where the physical and mental pollution you yourselfs created, and take a deep breath.
fuck all this im better than you bull shit. ALLY AND IGNORNANT OTHERS…… the english monarchy ruined my country like they ruined many others, if you think this is something of be proud of, of that your better than us because of it, so be it, but i dont think you have any right to speak of what you dont actually know.
After all, all people look the same to zebras!
Fox news Perez, surely you jest.
Also, people are taking this way to seriously, it's not meant to be offensive( I don't believe so) and saying that people from "australia" are idiots when the man who claimed to be raped by the wombat was from NZ is just stupid….some people just don't deserve the air they are taking in.
Re: P –
3 words love,GET OVER IT. no offence like but thats ages ago! britain took over many countries but then so did others. without britain you wouldnt be who you are today dumbshit. DUH! dont go offendin us british just because one person offended you … you're just doing the same thing.
GO WOMBAT LOL!!!
new zelanders are whores!
Hahaha this story is funny!!! and NO I does not change my opinion/view of New Zealanders ! I still think of you guys very highly…I am from Mexico, where alcohol use is rampant, and I seen/heard crazier things than this! Look in youtube with the searchword "borrachos" or "el show de la barandilla" and you will see some pretty hilarious mexican drunkards…and no we are not like that! just some…Peace!!
Re: Ally – You're a stupid cunt
I almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard. That was funny! I'm still laughing. Seriously where do people come up with these things… I love you Perez.
Re: An Aussie relaxing by the beach. –
LOL! WIN
Wow.
Thats wow.
Ahaha.. Sucks to be him.
I seen on tha news, that a guy got raped by bigfoot at age five.
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
–Aussie slang for 'not my cup of tea'
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
NOT MY BOWL OF RICE!
Aussie slang for 'not my cup of tea'
I am Australian and I'm always so embarrassed when Aussies get on these forums and start acting like patriotic hooligans defending their country. It is so obvious so many Aussies have an inferiority complex and feel the need to shout louder than anyone else just to be heard. Why? It is really not necessary. We have our place in the world and we are respected so get over it! This is not the fucking Olympics!
Re: Grow up –
HOOLIGANS? WHO ARE YOU CALLING HOOLIGANS???? LET'S ALL CHANT TOGETHER NOW:
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AUSSIE OI AUSSIE OI AUSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AUSTRALIA NO#1
ENGLAND NO #2 - ALWAYS BITCHEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats to damn funny…..this guy was just drunk and decided to pull a prank call but he did it to the wrong people! Instead he got his ass arested and got some community service out of it!
Oh and some people are like Australians speak english…well duh but I think the guy ment he was talking with an Australian accent now.
People need to stop fighting about which country is stupider……this guy was just prank calling it happens everywhere in every country. Like I said this guy was just stupid to prank call the police is all.
how smart s this wombat to know hot to tear off his clothes, get hard and rape the 'victim'
there's a reason those of us who've spent time in motueka call it mo'tweekers… haha. seriously though, that's a pretty dumb (but funny) prank to try to pull off
Whahahahahahaha!Raped by a wombat and then it was reported that Alcohol played a big part in his life.Wow!Shocker there.
LOL!
OMG, that totally made my day.
Wow.
Disturbing.
file this one under WTF!
It's Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Snouse. Help me please! I can't stop.
I can't believe I have been violated by a wombat!!
Re: Ally – Australians are retards, yet you can't even read well enough to realise that the story was about a man from NEW ZEALAND??Way to prove the point there you simpleton
ahahahaha hes fukkeedddd upp
fuckin funny
Re: rosie –
I find this comment so funny! Rosie we have t-shirts in NZ saying I support Otago and any other team playing Auckland *we can all take the piss out of ourselves here* its just that natural rivalry we have within NZ but when it comes to Aussie its the main team to beat! You cant say that you Aussies dont have t-shirts saying NZ are crap or whatever. I think you just need to lighten up a wee bit Aussie and NZ are neighbors in this big wide world and everywhere has rivalry's! Look at the States and Canada! Its just normal
now you know how NZ sheep feel
Re: Nora from Australia – just without the shitty kiwi accent and the velcro gloves
Re: ER – what the fuck are yo on about ya fuckstick???? I've never used or heard used, that expression in my life, so unless you're from sydney get your hand off it and stop making up bullshit sayings that are never said ya fuckin' knob jockey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is great…..I want to have a beer with this mate.
lol i think they should have let him off.
Silly story but it reminds me, HIM is still on tour in Australia and New Zealand right now. They're rocking Brisbane and Auckland next. Hope wombats like Love Metal.
It is well known in Australia that the wombat 'Eats ROOTS and leaves'. Then again, there are far more Australians in Sydney who claim that they have been duped into sex by KIWIS;)
What the hell does a Wombat look like….Sorry New Zealand, I guess we all have our nut jobs!!
funny. considering wombats are native to australia and kinda don't roam the streets of new zealand. a totally different bloody country!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
gotta luv down under and
[[[[[[[[[[[[ wolf creek ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
A satisfied wombat
Re: Ally – ahh fuck off? and how is everything backwards if ur from fucking england? shut the fuck up u albino pommy.
Raped by a Wombat? WTF…
omggggg hhahahahahahahahahaha
crocodile dundee
used to watch that as a kiddddd.
this is a good laugh.
cheered up my day, definatly
[[[[[[[[[[[[ hillaryz winning ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
zzzzzzz zhe will win the next 5 ztatezzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[[[[ no wonder obama wantz her to ””' QUIT”””””””
ZZZZZ R U AFRAID ….HONEY…WE KNOW U R….ZZZZZZZZ
ZZZ ITZ HILLARY BITCHEZZZ ITZ OUR EFFEN TURN ZZZZZZZ
ZZZZ LUV THE HILL AND THE BILL AND THE CHELZEA/♥PEREZZZZ
all you need to speak australian is alcohol, sun exposure, and a lobotomy
le ghey
Kiwis are just inbred versions of Aussies. Aussies are just poor versions of English. Gotta start somewhere I guess. And I don't wanna hear the complaints, I'm an Aussie and I have friends who are kiwis who find this hilarious. Get over yourselves.
Oh and for the record, that Aussie Aussie oi oi oi shit is just plain stupid. Stop doing it, it's annoying as fuck and it's just plain fucking embarrassing. This country is full of nitwits who keep doing this bullshit of a chant. Enough already, it's the most lamest fucking thing I have ever heard and I have heard some fucking lame shit in my life.
Re: Rachel –
That's because Australians are attention seeking whores. ME ME ME ME! That's all they fucking talk about. Australia this, Australia that. The rest of the world doesn't give a fuck Australia. And while we're at it, get rid of that annoying fucking aussie aussie oi oi oi chant. It's stupid and it's embarrassing. It's the lamest fucking thing I have heard and I have heard some really lame fucking things in my life but that takes the cake. Cut that shit out.
Re: Rachel –
That's because Australians are attention seeking whores. ME ME ME ME! That's all they fucking talk about. Australia this, Australia that. The rest of the world doesn't give a fuck Australia. And while we're at it, get rid of that annoying fucking aussie aussie oi oi oi chant. It's stupid and it's embarrassing. It's the lamest fucking thing I have heard and I have heard some really lame fucking things in my life but that takes the cake. Cut that shit out.
Wow, clearly this man has never been raped by a kangaroo. Now THAT can change your life.
LOL. its pretty much impossible to get raped by a wombat..
I loled real hard just then.
Ahaha this was pretty funny!
And no we don't hate Aussie.
But way to get NZ on the map guys(atleast it wasn't a sheep)
I went on my O.E last year around Europe and it seriously suprised me how silly people are when it comes to Ne Zealand and Australia - they actually think we are one country….Retards
This is HILARIOUS! Apart from any possible harm done to the wombat, of course. Animal rights and all that. Ally - you're a dork. Can you read? It's about a kiwi man. Rosie - you're a dork too. I second what NZ replied to you, but would just like to quietly add - BOOYA.
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