What's He Smoking????
Filed under: John Mayer > When Celebrities Blog
He's trying to get deep.
John Mayer loves to post on his blog.
His entries are usually funny, but his most recent one is rambling and self-indulgent.
If you make it through to the end, you get a cookie!
P.S. He's totally talking about us.
Shut your piehole, John, or we'll have to tell the world what happened that night at Stereo!
Says Mayer:
"FROM THE HEART….
I need to write this.
I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.
I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)
What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.
This is about us all.
This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.
This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me. "
This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.
This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.
This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.
This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I'm going quiet now.
John"
[Image via Mavrix Online.]
how true… well said John.
I've decided that I am going to make the first step in my "change" today… this is my last visit to Perez Hilton or any other gossip/tabloid crap site.. WE ARE THE PROBLEM people, we come to the sites to read this junk, we buy the stupid magazines… think about it… we are sheeple!!!
I am done.
Perez - what John writes is good. Why are you being defensive???
He left out one small detail. While he was analyzing everyone else, why didn't he admit that he also plays for the pink team.
I actually think it's a great post that he's written. It's not the least self-indulgent. I just turned 30 myself, and I couldnt agree more with him, its about time we sort out our life
Perez, he has a point, and a very good one. It is important to act how you feel and make and effort to DO things, not just wait for things to come your way. Just because its not some random funny, stupid, easily digested crap doesnt mean hes trying to be 'deep' and even if he was thats a GOOD thing, gees if everyone tryed to be 'deep' every now and then the world would be a better place. even if what he is saying is all bullshit thats still better than mindless shit. I love your site and all its wonderful mindless shit. but when something comes along that requires a slightly higer IQ or slightly more brain power to comprehend then please dont riddicule it.
HEY! Sounds to me like one of the few Americans that has some real thoughts. Not so phoney. I say GREAT for him!!! Now, if only more people would think this way…well? You know!!!
Did he really write, "I'm not the first person to admit we are all self conscious, Kanye was." ???? Really?? Kanye was the first? Ever? What a dumbass.
john mayer is really annoying.
he kind of freaks me out a little… and if I hear that goddamn song say what you need to say again i am going to SCREAM.
He thinks he is soooooooo smart or something.
GAMER
You don't want to hear this, but he's right. He's completely right about the state of self-esteem in this completely out of control culture. Everybody hurts.
Re: lc2 – Haha! Yes!
http://jeymz.myminicity.com/
I HAVE JUST BECOME A FAN!!!
HE´S SMART!!
couldn't even finish it. no cookie for me
Well, your saying he is self absorbed.. yet here you are saying he is totally talking about you? There are thousands of blogs like yours, Perez. And yes, he probably IS talking about you.. but what he is saying isnt negative, its truth. No gay person can say they have never struggled for acceptance. John Mayer is a very smart, very funny, very talented man.
I read it…. kinda maybe enjoyed (parts) of it
now….. the cookie aspect…. when does that come into play?
and what kinda cookie are we talking about?
Perez, I'm pretty sure he put that part in there about you knowing that you would post it on your site and his message would reach a lot more people that way.
WHERE IS MY COOKIE?????????
Re: k – Umm I don't know what blog you read but it obviously wasn't the one I read since he wasn't whining.
What a hypocrite! Being a media whore did not gett attention so not he going serious singer route. If you want attention John M make good music! Oh and Perez f him your hot!
Perez…ur a fucktard. You posting this just proved the man's point: "Shut your piehole, John, or we'll have to tell the world what happened that night at Stereo!" That sounds like a threat & insecurity right there. He's making a good point…You're a douche and you take your insecurities out on people. The guy was just being honest.
Holy Shit Perez!!! Does this mean that you're Gay?????? Tell me it ain't so!
Ok, he's totally self-indulgent, but pretty much dead on. Sounds lika blog Dawson & Joey crafted after years of being "misunderstood" rich white kids, but yes, let's enjoy our lives a little bit more and stop fussing about others.
John is a brilliant young man. Kudos to him. This post was not rambling or self indulgent, rather smart and insightful. Perez- it is truly sad that you can't see past your nose. You could really learn something from John.
He speaks from the heart and that takes courage.
Did he really say, "I'm not the first to admit we are all self conscious, Kanye was." ???? Haahahaaa Really? Ever??? What a dumbass.
No cookie for me
I love John Mayer and what he said was AMAZING. I think you need to stop hating Perez, the man is right.
Beautiful. A alid conclusion of the lives we all live everyday. Come on Perez I thought you'd appreciate this one! The stab at you wasn't even bad…probably true am I right?
Maybe Perez should read it again.
well it's true, you are a complete douche.
Caring what people think about you is very important. We do it for acceptance. If nobody cared what people thought of them, everyone would be extremely egotistical and self-centered. It's so important to value others thoughts…you just have to take them with a grain of salt.
He could also be talking about the other mean old gay blogger, Jonathan Jaxson.
Love It!!!!!!
hello, pot calling the kettle black! self-indulgent? you're the most self-indulgent blogger on the planet, constantly plugging yourself, your birthdays, your apparently 'legendary' parties, etc. etc. etc until the cows come home, etc!!! everyone seems to agree that John Mayer's blog is neither self-indulgent nor rambling. why does his blog always have to be "funny"? simply to entertain you? god, i hope no one is that sad as to write to entertain you and you alone.
and don't get it twisted, Perez. people don't like YOU, they like your BLOG. celebrities don't want to hang out with you or appear on 'what perez sez' because they think you are worth anything; they know that your BLOG influences public opinion. again, it's not YOU, but your BLOG and this caricature of yourself you've created.
john mayer is trying to be real, unlike you, jenny craig! and threatening people with the little pieces of misleading information your minions have collected for you is WEAK!
come on!
I dig it. ♥
Cookie please.
Though, I enjoyed that bit. It was more coherent than most of his entries.
I'm wondering if he should think less and live more though.
he's got a point perez…maybe you should be a little more nice to people…
I have to say that I am a little disappointed that you didn't like that Perez! I thought it was extremely true and very insightful.
I would have thought you would have agreed.
I'm with John on this one.
Thank you John Mayer for making people realize, including perez, tthat we're not in high school anymore and theres more important things in life than this blog. Perez, blackmailing is lame. Read it and think. He's not even insulting you.
how the hell could this man have dated jessica simpson?
I mean, I'm sure she was sweet and all, but I'm also sure she's as dumb as dirt so……it must have been all about how she looks, huh?
oh, men.
why is perez upset by his message? I think JM is dead right about his message. I do take like 100 pictures then choose the right one for my myspace page ha. but i dont put any stupid messages up about not caring what others think though,.
ok, so didn't read all that.
maybe he ought to be more self conscious b/c he's fucking ugly as shit.
Oh and p.s. I dont think he's talking about perez. there is another blogger, who is gay who is much much meaner. perez is making friends in the busienss, has his own show, etc and isn't as mean to celebrities as he used to be because he has to make friends to thrive. i think a few others are considerably nasty though and most bloggers are gay so i think this can be anybody.
So wait … John writes about something sincere and unpalatable but truthful nonetheless, and you get so irritated with the fact that someone questions your motivations, your subconscious, your human side that you keep so colorfully hidden until it benefits you to mention in one of your posts, and you respond with a snarky "I'm going to tell on you"? Revolving around crap in the very rumor mill he's just isolated as pointless? Talk about self-indulgent.
John Mayer is a no talent cocksucker, who has nothing better to do than write in his blog about his jelousies towards PIMP bloggers who make thier lifestyle from blogging well.
Any D-bag can see Perez is queer he puts it out there, no struggle in my eyes….now john, maybe its your struggle…. now that j.simp
Umm, I didn't read his whole blog, but are those herpes sores on his tongue? Poor guy. You gotta be careful which models you date. Oral sex is not safe, those terrible viruses go after everyone
Quotes from Fight Club:
"We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionares, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out." ~Fight Club movie, screenplay by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, novel by Chuck Palahniuk
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 17
We're the middle children of history…. no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. ~Fight Club movie, screenplay by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, novel by Chuck Palahniuk
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. ~Fight Club movie, screenplay by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, novel by Chuck Palahniuk
Perez, John wasn't trying to insult you, he was just being honest, Maybe you should try it sometime?
Your just pissed cuz he said what thousands of others think about you and wont say…your a bitch Perez. I bet you wouldnt have even posted this if you didnt think it was about you
its true everyone is self conscious about themselves thats why its easier ragging on someone else than ragging on yourself
That was beautifully written by John and I couldn't agree with him more.
Sometimes Perez you are so self absorbed. While I enjoy your sharing celebrity news, I really don't think sometimes you can think outside the realm of your own little world. I think he pegged you pretty well. LOL Maybe you're the one who is smoking something if you didn't read and understood the message he was trying to share with those who have an open mind.
could it be, Perez, that you are just pissed that he has nabbed your career? While you try to "friends and loved by the celebrities" and think that you are so loved by them but really they just don't want you hate on them on your website because millions of us read it everyday and are influenced somehow by what you critically say of other people. You have become that scared little bully of all the celebrities. Love the ones you want to love and hate who you want to hate. Speak nothing of the ones who manipulate you (Paris)… its crazy how they fear you, you have control over them all by writing bitchy comments. wow. bravo.
must be threatening to go up against someone with actual talent and not just a computer and a chip on their shoulder…..
Umm Perez, u need to have a look in your own piehole…. that was an excellent post.
It's not about you. He said "young". LOL
)
No cookie for me…
I love how 70 percent of you bash Perez. Don't get me wrong, I can't stand him either. Anyone who makes it their business to rip apart other people's livelihood deserves an asskicking. BUT I'D HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU. ALL YOU HATERS CONTINUE TO READ HIS SHITTY BLOG. YOU ARE SUPPORTING HIM BEING AN ASSHOLE. STOP READING HIS BLOG AND HE WILL GO AWAY.
DON'T COMMENT HOW MUCH YOU HATE HIM. JUST DON'T READ HIS BLOG. ADVERTISERS WILL STOP GIVING HIM MONEY AND HE WILL DISAPPEAR.
Dragged on… No cookie for me
Amen…
Wow. Way to nail his point down, Perez. Your childish defensive reaction is EXACTLY what he's discussing here.
Not quite preceptive today, are we?
You DO subsist on ripping people down. Then you get mad when someone points it out? You pain cum on people's faces! Don't try to pretend that you don't pay your rent by making fun of Rumer Willis or Britney Spears! Trying to defend yourself against the truth is completely and utterly stupid.
I thought it was a well put together rant… if that's not an oxymoron.
~AS
>>
So true, Perez. Many people project their own internal pain onto others. Very sad. I'm not a Mayer fan, but his blog was rather profound. You should tape this quote to your mirror.
PEREZ!!! You need to tell us what happened that night at Stereo…..NOW!
ok…no cookie for me!!! i couldnt make it to the end…
why so long winded john?
and about what he said about you….
VOTE PEREZ IN 08!!!
I think there's actually a lot of truth to what he's saying. And Perez, when he addresses you, you really shouldn't take offense to it. I mean, first of all it is true, and secondly he is just proving how this subject affects EVERYONE; no one can avoid it. He is not targeting you, just including you with the rest. Nothing wrong with that.
PEREZ GOT TOLD!
So true, oh so true.
Re: Natalie –
YEAH..WHAT ABOUT STEREO!?!?!?!?!?!?
Come on, Perez - don't tease and tell us what happened at Stereo!
John's right. You can be an insecure miserable scum bag….
That was amazing. He spoke truths none of us wanted to hear but had to at the same time. How can you make fun of that, Perez? He's being honest, and he's opening up and he's not doing it to make fun of others, but to help others. We all try so hard to put others down just to get the negative attention off of ourselves, it's kind of sick what the world is coming to. But we'll never change, no matter how many celebrity blogs tell us we should.
Still, kudos to John Mayer for writing that, I was never a huge fan but his words spoke to me and I didn't find it difficult at all to read the entire thing, I could have read a few more pages of it.
Dear Perezle,
I love you–but you and I both know that what he said is true. What John Mayer has posted isn't self serving, but painfully accurate. So maybe it can illuminate you too. Be of good cheer.
I love everything this man says and does. He's got wisdom beyond his years. He's a brilliant songwriter, and a talented artist, I wish for only good things for him and his loved ones.
Oh john does this mean you read perez's blog if so hi, I think you are just lucky your famous and at times you speak the truth but you say it in such a way it just makes you sound like an ass. With that being said stay strong, and hold that big head high. I'm gonna wear a hoddie to dinner and plan how I'll spend earth day this year!
Whatever hes "smoking", I want some.
Not only was that deep, it was intelligent, endearing, and largely correct.
Bravo John Mayer.
What's wrong Perez? You can diss everyone you want on your site but you tell him to shut his pie hole?????
How hypocritical of you! Shock!
SI TE LLEVAS, TE AGUANTAS PEREZ!!!!!!
Lying sack of shit is just over there to get some of that underage Japanese poon. STFU Gayer.
Perez your nothing compared to Johnnny Boy..shut up.
why do people always put "first"????? what does it mean?!?!?!?
WOW! That blog was probably the best I have read in a while. Although I dont agree on what he says about you Perez, you tell it like it is as well and I respect you for that
But John Mayer has some awesome truth in what he is saying. Especially the thing about the girls taking pictures of themselves and plastering them all over MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, you name it. That sorta shit just makes me angry. Camera Whores.
Celebrity has gone to John's head. Self-indulgent is right on. Everyone is entitled to their revelations about life, and granted it is his blog. No need for the judgements however. It's not his place to categorize every human being. Not everyone was told they were special from day one. Maybe John can afford his little "mind stretching" in Japan because he has millions of fans that support him. It's also easy to sit there and say "we're really not all that special, beautifully unspectacular" when you make millions and live fabulous. Clearly for him, it's not done all to make him happy inside.
People can feel terribly alone ofcourse, and the luxury would be to feel special by yourself. Before you want to sit there and continue to worship John Mayer for being so intelligent and enlightening, why don't you come up with these ideas for yourself. Realize he's in a way categorizing you.
he sucks so bad and is soooo boring i cant even read what he says-he is the most boring unattractive blown up headed dude ever…..ok maybe i am not being fair-I never ever heard any of his supposed songs….gee maybe he is phenomenal and I dont know it? Hes so full of himself and boring I could careless if he is the male Celine Dion…not interested enought to even try to hear what he is about
John Mayer is so full of himself it makes me want to puke. He is nothing special but THINKS he is. He himself believes that he is one of the greats of all time, but I hate to burst his tiny bubble….John, you are just an average singer with average skills. Nothing worthy of blog reading. John, your 15 minutes is 14 minutes up. Say goodbye now.
yup. i love him. i'd do him. and he's spot on.
john mayer is the mold from which all men should be shaped.
just sayin…
DID THAT UGLY FUCKER JUST COME OUT OF THE CLOSET IN HIS BLOG??? OMG LAAAAMMMMEEEE
Perez: Why is is OK for you to make fun of people all day long, but the minute someone better looking than you & smarter than you hits you..you get defensive? Step off, Mario! John is more honest that you'll ever be.
GO PEREZ. JOHN IS A SWEATY COKEWHORE!!!!!
I read the blog and it seems like the ramblings of a confused 12 year-old. Obviously John Mayer needs to work on his maturity level because his thoughts are that of a child. Anyone who thinks for a split second, that this is some kind of brilliant realization is just as immature, or messed up, as he is.
Grow the hell up people and get over yourselves, you're not that damned important. Contrary to popular belief, YOU ARE NOT the center of the universe.
Loveeeeeeeeee himmmmmm….and I don't hate you PEREZ…………I just hate that you hate so many people………….
Perez, why don't YOU shuy YOUR piehole. Someone, one day, is going to find out where and when you spend on the expensive nights out with the pay-to-stay boize, buddy, and you'll be eating shite cake.
I appreciate that you are getting a golden message out - John wrote something really wonderful. Don't detract from yourself, and the very good soul you are for reprinting that, by making cheap threats.
We all know already, P. And we don't care… Spread more love, dude - it suits you!!!
Oh shut up Perez, you're just jealous that you didn't come up with more intelligent ways to critisize him than to say "your blog sucks".. Well sorry honey, while yours may entertain for a minute, his just might make you use your brain.
Now kiss and make up!
my eyes actually started watering… from boredom seriously if one more celeb blogs about being bashed i will hurl myself out my window
He thrives off of the very culture that he likes to rip on. Poor John, my ass.
fuck you perez haha john is so much more talented then you'll ever be and you live such a fucking awful life. it must suck that nobody actually likes you for you
why does he always call himself a celebrity? What a f*ckin ego. The Beatles were celebrities. Jimme Hendrix was a celebrity. You, douchebag supreme are a dorky white guy who got lucky that a bunch of pre-pubes and soccer moms dig your crappy music.
I guess I get a cookie. What kind is it?
Read, done. Where's my cookie, perez? That was beautiful. Love this man… I wish I could write my thoughts out just like that, in such a matter that you know it's all true. Everything that he has written up there. Truth. Such is life.
Yeah….I'll believe homeboy when he stops fucking brainless twats cuz their bleached, buxom and blonde and actually has a serious loveship with a woman who is brainy, quiet and not perpetually in a LOOK AT ME…WORLD! That goes for YOU George Clooney..not buying the Vegas cocktail teenager as your soul mate while you save Darfur. You want all the serious respectability, but still want to fuck a playboy bunny…
it's not that he's wrong, it's just that he thinks he's right and feels compelled to giz all over his keyboard telling us about it.
get over your self john mayer.
i know you want to.
Why do you constantly refer to yourself as "US"? You're one person, not plural. "PS he's totally referring to us", "We're turning 30!". Lame. You should be careful and shut your pie hole sometimes Perez before everyone hates you. Don't think you're invinceable. It will happen someday.
bitch, where's my cookie!
jk, i didn't even make it through the 1st paragraph
so did anyone noticed that thing on john mayers tongue??? dude take a look & you'll see it..