Headline of the Week Weak
Filed under: Headline of the Week
"Minnesota Church Files Restraining Order Against Autistic Parishioner"
He's not allowed to come to mass…because he's got autism and acts up! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.
Church Files Restraining Order Against Autistic Parishioner
A Minnesota church is coming under fire for the way it's treating one of its parishioners.
Adam Race, 13, and his family did not go to mass at Bertha's Church of St. Joseph Sunday morning like they usually do.
The Todd County Sheriff told Adam's mom if she did take him to St. Joseph's, she would be arrested.
St. Joseph's has filed a temporary restraining order against Adam. In a statement, Father Dan Walz said he filed the petition as a last resort out of "a growing concern for the safety of parishioners".
Adam is severely autistic. He is home-schooled, and has attended St. Joseph's his whole life. He is also more than six feet tall and weighs more than 235 pounds.
In court documents, Father Walz said Adam's growing size makes it harder for his parents to manage his behavior during mass. Father Walz said Adam struck a child, bolts unexpectedly from church nearly knocking people down, including elderly people.
He said Adam also spits and urinates during church.
Carol Races said those allegations are either exaggerated or false. She said Adam is not angry or violent, he has never spit in church, and that on rare occasions, he has been incontinent.
Carol blames Adam's worst behavior, revving a church member's running car after mass, on a lack of accommodation from the church.
"They don't understand how the mechanisms of autism are working at the moment of these disruptions and so forth," Carol Race said. "And I want to point out that in the last couple of months Adam has been perfectly well-behaved. So that's what's shocking to me."
Carol said sometimes Adam is noisy and must be restrained during mass, but she said her family always sits in back and leaves church a few minutes early.
A hearing has been set on May 19th in Todd County Court.
thats so GAY I HATE PEOPLE WHO DO SHIT LIKE THIS!!! GO FUCK UR SELF
Re: FUCK HIM AND HIS CUNT MOTHER –
I hope that you get a child with autism and maybe then you would understand. You say fuck this child and his cunt mother, how dare you. You obviously know nothing about autism and what is does to the child/adult and family.
I have a child with autism and I do not include him in things sometimes because people do not understand. It's heartbreaking to have to tell him his own family members don't want him around because of his actions. But what the hell, cast him aside, he's just a "retard" as some on here have said. You know it's bad enough when the family members around me are like this but to see people on a board attack someone they know nothing about and do not understand his diabilities just makes me furious.
So if you have kids, plan to have kids, I hope you get dealt with one with autism and then maybe, just maybe you might put a few brain cells together and actually understand what is going on.
You say fuck him, I say FUCK YOU!
Jenny McCarthy is not going to be happy about this
Wow, Re: FUCK HIM AND HIS CUNT MOTHER, you hope a kid is born with autism so someone else feels what you feel.
Wow. Just…wow.
Don't all catholic churches have cry rooms?
This is an unfortunate situation, but the needs of the many over ride the needs of the few here, considering the extent of his public dysfunction. The tail should not be allowed to wag the dog. They are so immersed in his empathetic care that they have become an indignant special interest group, and have steamrolled and thus disregarded the consideration of others and the congregation's right to a meaningful and reverent Sunday in Church. A restraining order is not usually filed lightly, and particularly by a Father. It would hurt, but there it is. There are going to be limitations if he is ill behaved.
People have taken leave of their senses. If mass is so disrupted, and with the above outlined behavior, his family should attend without him out of respect, considering. He will only become harder to handle, and is becoming a grown man. Furthermore, he might do far better living where they can educate and further his socialization and maturation process with the many new and amazing skills and tools that special needs professionals have at their disposal nowadays. The family seems so immersed and heavily burdened that they're only seeing within their peripheral bubble. What they live is absolutely one of the toughest and never ending things to cope with. Bless them.
For all the people who think this is right. God help you. There is no reason to have a restraining order against somebody that is sick. Well, in a way it doesn't surprise me, religious people keep contradicting themself. What happen with compasion and love?
Is so sad. Fuck the church, they are more retarded than anyone else.
this saddens me so much i have an 18 about 5'8 and 200 pounds little brother.that has autism. i see where their concerns are.but if she already sits in the back.there shouldn't be a problem and as for the urination they can't help that if he's on meds some of the meds can cause them to be so out of it the don't feel when they have to go.
i dont think this is right, as a priest he shouldve talked to the parents personally and made adjustments that would be right for the child and the family and make it easier for the family to attend church but instead he called the police like he's a criminal
thats fucked up just cuz his "special" doesnt mean they have to get a restraining order on him and also "specials" need Gods love too.got damn it, thats why this world is fucked up!!!
Wow, well, it's sad that it had to get as far as a restraining order, especially since the mother was given other OPTIONS for her son to still participate in church, where he couldn't disrupt mass. But I guess she wouldn't get as much attention?
Asheartbreaking autism is, SAFETY IS THE MAIN ISSUE HERE. My cousin has autism, and as she got older, she got worse and worse, and had to be put into a special home after she tried killing my aunt. So here is my response to the mixed bag of crazies posting on this site;
1 - Church isn't public property or a "public accommodation" This is the same with retail stores, hotels, your house, etc. The pattern here is that if it's not funded by the state, it's not public property, idiot.
2 - Those of you boasting about having an autistic child and this article outrages you because of blah blah blah, my heart goes out to you. Seeing my aunts' pain, I really do mean that. But back to my original point, it's about SAFETY. Stop screaming for attention and start being a good parent. This means when you go to the grocery store next time with your autistic child, please think about others. I've seen autistic children attack people in a grocery store before. And "oh, he or she is autistic" is NOT a free pass. Take some responsibility.
and 3 - Christians aren't pro-white or homophobic. If caucasians make up the majority of the country, well, they'll make up the majority in churches. But there are many all black churches, and there are many churches with hispanics, asains, middle easterners (yes! i've met middle easterners that are in fact Christian) Is it so disgusting that this church is so "pro-safety?"
I have a sisiter who has autism and it's hard on the family wow that church is a bunch of mean jerks
Adam, due to his height and weight, may be a danger to those around him. Autism is not a one size fits all disorder; it really depends on the temperament of the child, how active and physical they are, in particular. Unfortunately, that is the reality of things. One of my close friends has two children with autism. One would be fine in church. As much as I love her, the other would not. She'll run, full speed, into people, jump on them, pull their hair, hit them, bite them…none of it is done with the intention of harming others. She just doesn't understand or she wants attention or she's hungry or bored or whatever.
It's an unfortunate reality that has to be handled with the safety the child as well as others in mind. As much as it breaks my heart for the boy, I don't blame the church for making this difficult decision, if his behavior is as disruptive as I know autistic children's behavior can be.
this is terrible! my brother has autism and when my mother wanted him to attend CCD classes the church turned him away!!!! after that we started to slowly not attend.. these churches are supposed welcome everyone and give their support!
NO! He should not be permitted to attend based on the fact he is extremely disruptive and a huge problem. Who cleans up the urine he leaves behind? I believe it is extremely unfair of the parents. Plain and simple.
Just another reason why I think organized religion is a crock! Isn't God supposed to love ALL children????? I am a catholic who is growing more and more pissed off with church and all these so called "good christians" who are so quick to pass judgement on others and shove them out of a place that is supposed to mean peace and acceptance. Oh and before anyone can come down on me for knocking organized religion, my best friend has a son who is autistic so I am well aware of what the day to day trials and stresses are like for a parent who has a special needs child. That priest should reconsider is vocation!
Re: Dawn – I don't agree with you. I don't want to hear him screaming, swearing or worse. It's disuptive to the service. And besides, who has to clean up the urine he leaves behind? Sorry, if you can't control your bodily functions, you should not be exposed to the public. PERIOD.
I still can't believe that people believe in God. He doesn't even fucking exist. Take your dumbass religion elsewhere. Religion kills more people than any other incident worldwide. Nothing compares. If there was a god, there would be no wars. Everyone would get along. There would be complete peace on earth and Everyone would be happy. Children wouldn't die in car accidents. Children would be beaten to death by the hands of their own parents. Children would NOT have autism and other diseases. Everyone would live a full and happy life. But since there is NO God, the world is fucked up and it's reality. Stop wasting your time believing.
Um, shouldn't the Catholic Church protect children from the molesting priests out there? And yet they are worried about an Autistic boy making noise in church?
keep the fucktard out I say
you people are insane, this boy may have autism but that is NOT the reason they kicked him out. they have tried MANY MANY MANY solutions to work with the young boy and have special sessions with him so he is not ban from church but the fucking lame ass mom will not have it. she just wants to sue. figures another greedy, selfish, "christian" using her OWN SONS condition to get herself money. he is pushing old people down, PEEING ON PEOPLE, he once grabbed a girls ass and thighs and pulled her onto his lap HIS PARENTS HAVE TO SIT ON HIM TO KEEP HIM DOWN FOR GODS SAKE!!!!! so stop bitching because they kicked him out. anyone should be kicked out for that disabled or not especially when they REFUSE to take part in any solutions the church already offered. shows how good christian people really are
What perez and this article fail to mention is that special accomodations by the church had been made for private mass for Adam, which the family denied.He is becomng more of a hazard because of his size and is a danger to others, not because he has autism. What if he had terets syndrome and was yelling at the top of his lungs? Would we all feel it as some say "disgusting" to offer that person private services for the sake of other parishoners. No, it probably wouldn't even have made the news.The church has tried to work with the family, but the family has been unresponsive to these accomodations.If he was able to run out of the church and hop into someones car and begin to rev the engine loudly, that seems like his parents are not as in control as they claim to be. It is not autism that is under attack here, it is a total lack of care and caution being taken by the parents. I'm not judging their parenting skills, I am just angered by the fact that they are trying to only tell one side of the story and not admit that the church has been struggling to work with them and this issue, and they continue to not be cooperative in any way.
wow its just sad either way I mean that he is a follower at the church and the people and the pastor should be a little more understanding of his dissability but at the same timr i can understand the saftey issues people feel but in conclusion its just a sad story
I'm with the Church on this one! Yes God loves everyone and probably wants us all to attend church, but the Bible says "Where there are TWO or more gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of it" This child does not need a church to worship God or get into Heaven. The church offered the family a seperate service which goes above and beyond what is expected of them. They would have gladly made every choir member, deacon, or whatever suffer through the same or similar service TWICE just to accomodate one abusive child but they refused. Whats the difference between having church with just their family as opposed to 100 people? What if this Kid snatches the clothing off of some 10 year old girl, or grabs the crotch of some 18 year old boy? what if he hurts someone to the point where the damage is irreversible(cant have children, blind)? What if he causes someone to miscarry? He's HUGE! Everyone who's saying "let him go to church" or "Thats wrong" are not in the situation with him. The bible also says "Cause(or tempt) no man to sin" Do you think that someone who catches him pulling their 7 year old daughter onto his lap or pissing on her or beating the heck out of her would not wanna beat the crap out of him? If you saw him run and knock your frail little 80 year old Mother down breaking her hip would you not be tempted with impure thoughts because you're only human?
Ok, this is a little drastic. Having worked with children with Autism I understand the behaviours that can be exhibited and the difficulties when they are bigger than you. I do not think that the church is focusing on the fact that the family is in need of accommodations for their extenuating circumstances and a restraining order is just too over the top. I mean, the family could have been spoken to privately, why make such a spectacle? It could have been handled much better. I feel for the family. It just isn't right to ostracize. The church could have helped to make it possible for the family to attend.
As the parent of a child with severe autism all I can say is this young man is being discriminated against full stop!!!!!
Re: KH –
They did try to work it out. Those of us who live in MN have been reading about this for a few weeks. The mother is not being reasonable.
Re: Annie –
The were given that choice but declined. look for the story at www.startribune.com and get the facts straight
How disgusting? This church needs to do its research on autism. Maybe they can find a better way to serve this family instead of banshing them. And I am SURE that some points in the story are grossly exaagerated.
To give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to assume that 95% of the people posting didn't read the article or anything else about it. This boy has hit a little girl, pissed in the church and is loud and threatening. He is a danger and a disruption. The church even offered to do a Mass at the family's home and they TURNED THEM DOWN. The family needs to pull their head out of their ass and I stand behind the decision 100%. You all need to wake the fuck up.
I entirely agree with the folks who stated that this is fair if this young man is harmful towards others. And if the church indeed extended an offer to give him home services, well…is that not enough?
You are so obvious, man. You're extreme liberalism is rather daft. Anyone with sense in thier head would respect that church's desire for safety of all it's parishioners.
A restraining order was necessitated probably due to noncompliance by the parents. All of the behaviors outlined above, plus the pulling of girls onto his lap, are most all criminal/assault behaviors, excepted for the fact that he is autistic. I'm sorry, but the sad reality is that a restraining order is appropriate in this case; to protect everyone else. The family is self-absorbed, and the priest had to step up and be the bad guy/throw himself onto his sword to maintain safety.
So, how come his parents are sending
JETT TRAVOLTA
to Minnesota to attend services ?
Just asking………………….
Yes, there is a problem here…obviously the parents do not or can not understand what is appropriate and what is not. I do not see the problem as the young man is autistic, but that he is disruptive and dangerous, not only to others but himself. How did this young man get into the parking lot to start cars? Where were his parents when this happened. The church offered the parents several options but they refused. How christian of the parents! I am sure this mother also would think it would be okay to fly with him…now really would you want this young man in the seat next to you? This whole thing has nothing to do with discrimination…it has to do with proper behavior. We do not take our children many places because unlike this mother, we have respect for other people.
i
wow, so many people are judgemental when there is always two sides to a story. Living with an autistic child flips a world upside down.. and trying to figure out a way to love and understand their needs is very difficult. Days are very differant for autistic child. I am not saying what this boy is doing is right, by any means, maybe he needs to be evaluated to see what the parents need to do to control his actions. The church should be offering ways to help them. Sometimes situations get blown out of differant portoptions.. this child is crying out for more help and people just want to take to court and get money for damages. No one can judge until they are put in the everyday life of what that mom goes through.. its not fair..
I live near Bertha and what nobody points out right away is that the church has tried several different things as far as setting up a separate room for them to view via tv, hold church a separate time for them and have parish people talk to them but the mom and her family don't want any of it. I think the church has a right to it. When kids no matter what the age aren't disciplined during church it make it hard for everyone to concentrate and is very disrespectful. The parents just aren't telling the whole story.
Okay so the kid being autistic doesn't have much to do with the situation, so it really is not discrimination. If some huge guy, over 6'0 and 235, was knocking over people, spitting and pissing on people in a CHURCH, then it would be right for that person to be banned. The kid obviously doesn't give a shit about being there if he's doing all that from being bored, so keep him home! It's better for him and everyone else.
There are degrees of autism, and when a fully grown patient exhibits as outlined, planned measures/no nonsense efforts should be taken by the family along with skilled professionals to nip it in the bud and encourage resocialization at a more functional level, where he will be much happier and accepted into the mainstream; not to mention the possibility of some permanent relief and a more copacetic environment for the family.
autism is an epidemic. ignorance is no excuse. if he were disabled in a visual manner, I am sure his problems would be more accepted. we reject what we don't understand.
we need to understand autism. please.
Re: Amanda –
if you have been attacked by an autistic person its because they read BITCH on your forehead. Its not a fuckn free pass ok, itsjust that is how many autistic children there is in thi s country in which you are not even aware of. there is level of severities and if a child attaks your ass they fuckn already explaining to you in which they shouldn't and should just apologize.But no they are giving you an explanation not a free pass idiot!
I think the Church has done them a huge favour letting them off the hook. In Australia people look down upon the Church as a freak show. Church goers usually go to Church quietly without letting many people too many people know to avoid ridicule. American Churches are right wing nightmares so this is hardly surprising.
Im Sorry for the kid but its a case of the greater good. If no one else wants to go because he makes it uncomforatble for them they should keep him home. Politcal correctness has got too bloody extreme.
FORGETN CHURCH,GOD LOVES HIM AND YOU CAN PRAY AND WORSHIP HIM ANYWHERE ANYTIME. GOD DOES NOT REJECT HIS CHILDREN. JUST AN EXAMPLE TO PUT YOUR FAITH IN GOD, NOT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he is being disruptive and having outbursts that may cause harm, then he shouldn't be allowed to attend. Just because he's autistic isn't a ticket to let him do whatever the hell his brain tells him. Why should we put many in harms way just to be politically correct for one person???
FUCK THATS JUST FUCK UP….FIRTS OF ALL HE DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE..SPEACIALLY BCZ ITS CHURCH …I CANT BELIEVE THEY ARE DISCRIMINATING HIM FOR HIS DISSABILTY…NEXT THING.. WHO KNOWS PEOPLE WITH ALTHRITIS, DIABETES ETC.. ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO ATTEND CHURCH …WTF FUCK THAT STUPID PASTOR WHO IS DOING THIS HE WILL BURN IN HELL..
And people wonder why islam is the fasting growing religion in the world. Islam takes everyone, regardless of race color or creed and christians file a restraining order against their mentally handicapped parishoners. Sad to say, but those people need to understand what WWJD means. Jesus wouldn't cast out the poor boy, but preach about acceptance and love of every neighbor, regardless of the fact that he is troubled. I know I sure as hell am not perfect, and granted I don't pee on myself, but that boy probably has a purer mind and heart than any of those other church members. And to those church members I say, Shame on you! Our god is of love, tolerance, and acceptance. Let ALL here the word of god and be fulfilled in it. May you look inward and judge yourself, not others, lest you be a hypocrit. Remember Jesus' word, let all who have not sinned cast the first stone. You judge when it is neither your place, nor your right. You may ban this family from your church, but know this, you will be judged by your deeds and actions. Did you make the right choice?
This makes me both angry and sad. Both myself and my fiancee have autistic brothers. Do you think these children "act up" on purpose?? The parents are just trying to let him have some normality in his life. It hurts that a church turned him away. We need to help these kids, help them put the pieces together. They just want to be like everyone else. Oh, and both of our brothers attend "normal" schools, they just have a teachers aid to help them.
wow, how christian of them
hell yeah, the church shouldn't have to put up with that behavour. If he's so autistic he won't understand why he's there anyway all the complaining is political correctness gone wrong.
I hated church as a kid and teen. I say keep him in - I would definately be on time to church if I got to see girls molested, old people taken out and the baptismal pissed in. Awesome!
Just like bloody Christians to be sooo hypocritical - Preaching love and tolerance and then banning someone because he makes them feel uncomfortable. What assholes.
Why bother even taking him to church? Can't they get a baby sitter? lollll
Sounds like those stupid bastards need to put a leash on their damn kid… and some diapers!
Later,
Tom
That is absolutly pathetic. Thats a church we are talking about they all should be ashamed of themselves.
I totally agree with the church. I worked with an autistic kid one time and he was
a real embarrassment around customers and acted like a real asshole. He was 25 so I don't feel bad. He knew how to play that autism card really well when he needed to.
Like true christian, conservatives….haters. Haters of all that is 'different' from them… They are racists, bigots and haters. I don't let my children go to church because of this reason. I teach them to love and be compassionate to ALL mankind… no matter what! That's what Jesus did.
To all the IDIOTS posting here about the mean church's intolerance, did you even read the full fucking article?? The church offered a separate, private service for him which the family turned down.
The autistic kids' family are the true morons. Why turn down an offer like that? It is NOT OK to let your kid (no matter how severley handicaped) ruin a service by compromising the safety of all the other churchgoers. The parents need to wake up and take responsibility for thier son.
Re: jessica – you are a total bitch for saying something like that, maybe if you actually read anything on autism you would understand, but I do think as an autism therapist, The young man should have a regular social story for going to church.
Being autistic from the moment I was born I can promise you we live internally. Check out wrongplanet. We do not harm, scream or yell. We are quiet. My personal opinion is that children are being called autistic but they are not. I am a Catholic-born and bred and there is always " a crying room." Set up for nursing mothers, unruly children, etc. This 13 year old child is not autistic-he has another disorder and it is scary. To subject other people who just want to go to Mass and not get peed on, spit on, knocked over, hit or sexually harrased. That priest is good. I think the mother is scary.
Re: Marie – Thank you-Mass is sacred.
Read this…it pissed me off.
I think if u want him to have religion in his life u teach him at home, so he doesn't harm anyone seems logical. duuu
This child is NOT austistic.
Re: Vampgirl421 – SHUT UP BITCH you are the one who has NO IDEA, you have NO IDEA HOW TO RAISE A WELL ADJUSTED CHILD. Hopefully someone will call social services on you! I relatives with autism you big fat douche bag and guess what THEIR NOT OUT OF CONTROL, and why is that? BECAUSE THEY WERE TAUGHT FROM INFANCY WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF THEM. You are obviously an abusive influence in your childs life, otherwise they would be able to leave the house without creating a nasty scene. NOW PLEASE HAND YOUR CHILD OVER TO A REAL PARENT!!!
Re: jessica – Maybe you should do some research on Autism, better yet maybe you should spend some time with an Autistic person. Everyone should be aloud to go to church.
It sounds like noone talked with the family before the restraining order. The church is supposed to be your "other family"….how cold! Maybe it needed said, but a restraining order???? that's taking it a bit too far. The church should be helping them and mentoring Adam. Shame on them for reacting in such a way….Catholics UGH!
Re: caitlyn – since you seem to know so much, don't you think it important to state that the girl who sat on Adam's lap was his foreign exchange SISTER who had voluntarily lived in our home for SIX MONTHS at that point. She did so willingly and with a smile. My son did not touch her inappropriately. Furthermore she had been sitting with my other daughters when she decided that she would rather sit next to Adam.
secondly, Adam did not put the car in gear. He just wanted to hear it run. He was also on an antianxiety medication that day which backfired. We took him off that drug immediately. The engine was only on for a few seconds, when my husband removed the keys. We were supposed to leave early, but Fr. Walz refused to accomodate that.
Re: John – John, Please don't assume your child is the same as mine. Mine was not forced to sit still for an hour. He had room to lie down on the pew or in front of the pew. He is now able to sit, stand, kneel and fold his hands for the entirety of Mass. My son has made those improvements about two months ago, and despite this, the restraining order has come. Nobody wants to acknowledge the dramatic improvements he has made recently. My son has insisted on going to Church and has repeatedly used the Church sign to ask to go to Church. He does get something out of it. Only God can judge what is in the heart of each person present. I would hope that your son could some day learn about God and come to know Him.
Re: Cetta – Well, Cetta. Let me explain. We had been leaving several minutes early in order to prevent Adam from bolting through the doorway. We left at the beginning of the closing song. Fr. Walz did away with the closing song, which meant everyone else would then be leaving simultaneously with us. Had we been allowed to leave earlier, we would have not even been there when the other people put their key in the ignition. Further, had we been allowed to tell people about Adam, we would have asked people not to leave their keys in the ignition. And, lastly, we are generally opposed to psychotropic drugs. due to the intense pressures we tried putting Adam on an antianxiety medication and this action was the end result. The medication did just the opposite to him. We took him off of it immediately. While we are certainly not proud of what happened, we do believe that this type of incident would never occur again. this is something that could happen at a gas station or ANYWHERE. We are always trying to monitor cars around us, looking to make sure the opportunities are not there. The owners of the car, btw, told us to "not give it a second thought" and "We admire you so much for what you do with your son."
Re: #1 – Please consider that this priest, as all people are not perfect. If I can forgive him for what he has done to my family, then please won't you consider the same?
Re: makesnosense – You are making the assumptions that he is physically out of control. This is not true. He has never actually harmed anyone. Please realize that what Fr. walz said was an outrageous exageration of the truth.
Re: Princessa – Little Princess, you are up in your castle too high to see the truth. there were no accomodations offered. Fr. Walz claimed to have worked with our family over the past year, when in fact, he had almost no contact with us and refused speaking to me without a third party present. He refused the third person when I came up with a name. We were nover offered Mass in our home. This is outrageous, for I would have accepted that accomodation. I'm sure the Bishop would not have approved of him saying another mass every weekend.
Mom craves attention.
The kid could care less if he is in church or not.
Seriously, Autism is a hard thing to deal with let alone live with. Autistic people cannot control their behaviors. But they have the same rights as everyone else. That includes the right to worship whatever god ,wherever they so choose. I'm betting that lightning strikes this church and all that have hurt this guy will be burned along with that building of hypocrisy.
Re: time for a break – I can't believe one minor incident, a small brushing against another person, has turned into "knocking people down" (plural!) and that incontinence has turned into "peeing on parishioners" (again plural!) He has never peed on anyone! On the contrary there are those in our public school district who have peed on my older boy Joshua not once or twice, but daily. Seems this is a long held tradition because our parish council president was aware of this time honored tradition. Nobody was ever suspended in school for urinating on my son, Joshua. None of them are considered "dangerous" probably because they are so "normal"!
Re: lynda – A random gun? Actually that proves my point that he is not dangerous. Our parish is full up every Sunday. Would people continue to come every Sunday for the 12 years we have been part of this parish if they truly felt they were in danger? I don't think so.
Re: Kissylips – why is Adam homeschooled? He was taken out of public school when he was in kindergarten because most of their activities would make no sense to him ie. reading, math, history, etc. He needed basic living skills, like dressing himself, learning to do some light cooking, cleaning dishes, etc. The public school was not equipped to provide this, nor did they have the environment in terms of building space to provide it. In an effort to not force thousands and thousands of tax dollars to support services just for him that I could as well do at home and in the community, I took him out of school.
Re: Tammy – tammy, sedation does not work for all. My son, Adam has been sedated for blood draws and for stitches in the past, as well as taking crayons out of his ears which he stuffed in very far. He is very hard to put under. We made the mistake of trying an anti anxiety medication before Church once and that was the Sunday that he had the car revving incident.
It sounds like the mother may be in denial about the severity of her son's issues. Perhaps him reaching puberty has caused him to become a little more erratic? Regardless, she should have more respect for the other people in her church. Why must everyone be miserable or scared because she insists on bringing the boy to church? If he has to be tied down to remain calm in church, then that's an issue. Why wait for him to badly hurt someone? Why are the Race's rights more valid than the rights of the other parishioners to worship in peace? Regardless of disability, her son does not have the right to put his hands on ANYONE EVER. The more I read, the less sympathy I have for the mother. It sounds like she's gearing up for a law suit.
I may sound harsh, but I really do feel bad for the family. I can't imagine the struggles they face daily. That said, if that sort of situation were going on in the my church, I would leave. I don't care if her son is making noise of shuffling around. That's to be expected although it would be annoying and distracting too and if that was the only issue, I would be condemning the church along with the rest of you. It's for that very reason that I stopped bringing my small children to church, because I have RESPECT for my fellow churchgoers and don't seek to impose my fidgeting, crying child on them. I'm sure the pastor filed the order with a heavy heart as a last resort. It's a sad story all around.
Re: Charlie Tooter –
Charlie,
while I appreciate your attempts at support, you have gone way too far. Regardless of what sins or mistakes our priest has made, the parish of St. Josephs in Bertha is truly God's church. Satan does most of his damage by making the good and right seem wrong. Fr. Walz is not evil, he is not perfect just like the rest of the world. We need to be patient and forgiving. If I can forgive him and our congregation, could you please try? Carol Race
Re: Allison – Allison, you know first hand, do you? You have met Adam exactly once in your life, and he was neither violent nor disruptive. You're still upset that I wouldn't let my daughter go running the countryside with you without permission! Or, are you just part of the social pruners who want to destroy our reputation because our little town has come under multinational scrutiny. This time the social pruners aren't getting away with it. You think it is ok in the high school you're so famous in that my son, Joshua gets urinated on daily? Do you think it's ok that my daughter gets a death threat against her where our town policeman refuses to even make out a report? Well, there's a lot of violence and disturbing behavior in this town done by the social pruners, not Adam. He has never hurt anyone and you know it.
Re: sister – your family sounds very similar to ours. Yes, we do anticipate when Adam is going to have problems and we are proactive with it. Sometimes his behaviors do require the patience and understanding of those around us. He is not routinely disruptive. The laundry list of items put together are taken from over 500 masses that Adam has attended and most of those items happened rarely if at all. He has NEVER SPIT in church or anywhere else, except when finished brushing his teeth, which is of course appropriate.
Re: sarah – Sarah, I assure you if Adam didn't want to go to Church, there is no way on God's green Earth we would ever get him in the doors. He often refuses to walk in the doors of Walmart, for example, while he enjoys Mills Fleet and usually goes in, there has been at least one occasion he would not go in. About half the time he will go in a grocery store and refuse the other half of the time. He NEVER refuses to walk into church and has even insisted on coming with when I was going to take the other children to a different Mass. Carol Race
so when this out of control full grown man with the brain of a child comes and knocks me down or sits on me and injures me, who do I sue? The church. It happened there, they allowed it to happen.
Can't blame them for saying he needs to either stay home or have his own service. It's not a "right" to be a menace in public. And even if he doesn't know he's being a menace, he IS being one. Starting cars, peeing and knocking people down/sitting on them…that's menacing when a person is of his size.
If he's so autistic that he can't stop wetting himself or sitting on people…what exactly is he gaining by going to church? Seriously. I can understand if his family wants to go, but why put the rest of the churchgoers through their son's apparently unsupervised bad behaviour? That's ridiculous and hurting others and destroying property are not part of the constitution. Sorry bleeding hearts.
Home schooled?????…………..if this boy is severly autistic he should receive proper schooling via professionals. Everyone should have the right to go to church however if it endangers others & he's continuously disruptive, other accomodations should be made by the priest.
I totally agree with the ban. Church is a place to pray, not a side show!
I want to make perfectly clear to everyone that Adam has never actually injured anyone, ever! The hype is about a priest and certain parishioners (social pruners in this small town of 500) who claim things like "what if…" They exagerate stories, they make up events, until they get everyone believing my son is a danger. My son is non-verbal, so no -social stories don't work, and he is big, but that is not a crime. I'm taller than the average woman, but that doesn't make me a danger to society. Adam does not urinate on anyone, the few times he has been incontinent, my husband has thoroughly shampooed the carpet. Nobody at Church was even aware that this had occured until the priest came in and saw my husband cleaning the carpet. Adam has never knocked over any person, let alone an elderly person, and please tell me any boy of 13 who has never ever hit another boy his own age? I do not condone his hitting anyone, and I dealt with this responsibly at the time which was several years ago. The family is burdened more by all the publicity than by the actual event itself. They have told me they just want this whole thing to remain in the past. We have hired a behavioral consultant to work with us on Adam's behavior at Church. He made a 3 page report for the Church which went completely ignored. The Church did not offer Mass in our home. I would have gladly accepted that.
Ok this pisses me off. I use to work with Autistic children and people who dont understand the disorder are scared of them. It's wrong! They are still human beings with feelings! I thought anyone was allowed in Church? This is fucked up!
I am a professional who works with school age kids with autism in Pennsylvania. I am curious what kind of services are available to this family in Minnesota, and if they have tried anything. It seems to me that an environment in which this child has to sit for long periods of time is not appropriate for this child, and his parents should not have been forcing the situation. I have a feeling they have not tried to medicate him which could help with his aggressive behavior. I'm also curious if the church ever attempted to help this family get help, or ask for volunteers to work with this child. There are a lot of programs out there for kids with Autism, I am curious what they are doing "homeschooling" him and what he is getting out of it. As a professional who works for a school, I can somewhat relate to the church's frustrations but they should try to help the family connect with resources to help this child with his behaviors so that he can function in society.
Autistic or not, his behavior puts others in danger and probably is so annoying that most of the people are praying for him to leave.
I've had kids with emotional and mental problems in my temple. People will try SO hard to not react to their behavior, out of concern for appearing insensative and judgmental, often disregarding BLANTANTLY innapropriate behaviors of the kid that the parents can not control.
In this case, since the child is unable in the eyes of his parents to assume responsibility, IT FALLS ON THEM to control him.
Yet again, parents look to blame establishments and others for the problems there kids cause.
Its not right. The law might find otherwise, but regardless morally its completely justifiable.
Church is pointless anyway. There's no God.
it sounds like every second person is the mother of an autistic child….LIARS
does the kid even understand what church is? he's 13. kids don't care about religion unless brainswashed by their parents.
I use to work with autistic people and sometimes they do get violent and just like if anyone else hits/bites/kicks you, it hurts and can leave lasting harm! Sure, he should be able to worship, but if he is hurting other people maybe mass isn't the best enviroment for him. In my experience, autistic people often act out in more extreme behaviors when they are scared or nervous. Maybe he doesn't want to be at Mass?
wat the fukin hell? he is autistic! u gotta lett him pray!
This kid deserved the same rights as everybody else……..if anybody else was knockin' over old people and peeing in the church, they'd be asked to leave too. I don't think his family should put him in a situation he can't handle.
this makes me sick. i like some of the others have an autistic child. the people on here who dont have no idea what a struggle it is to raise one. i would never wish for my son to be "normal" for my benefit. he has a RIGHT like anyone else to attned church or be anywhere there are "normal" people or kids. who are we or anyone else for that matter to say that he cant be there. other children can attend. children who throw things. children that throw fits. children that just act like spoiled brats and cry and scream when they dont get their way. they can go and act like that. ive seen it many times. no one shuns them. no one puts restraining orders againts them when they dont kindly remove them until they stop acting crazy! and to me that is 100 times more annoying than dealing with a special needs child. my child isnt as severe as this one in this story and even if he was i would only think its right that he can do as others. i never sheltered him from anything, or kept him away from anything because he has autism. they are smart beautiful children. if hes attended this church his whole life, this problem hasnt occured over night. so, why is it now all of the sudden its a problem??? it should have been this entire time….christian people are ridiculous. if the boys not even accepted in church, where will he be accepted.
Jesus would be very proud.
Again, the whole should bend for one….no way!!! This kids is violent and from the story this mother seems to not have control so maybe the state, now that they are awre of him will step in and take him away, good job mom, hope you got the atention you wanted!