By Popular Demand!
Filed under: Personally Perez
We can't believe the overwhelming positive response we've gotten from our debut song, The Clap.
We had a lot of fun making it with our friend Lucian.
Perez wrote all the lyrics and a lot of you have been asking for a transcript. So, here it is below.
Oh, and if you haven't gotten yours yet, CLICK HERE to buy a copy of The Clap on iTunes today!
"the clap"
spring break
there are no rules
gonna do it
by the pool
get drunk
break a' dawn
this is how
I get it on
rub some lotion
on my back
massage it down
into my crack
the day is young
and I am hung
spring break is
so much fucking fun
but let me tell you kids
what my mom told me…
when you love someone
take it slow
don't let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he's not wrapped
you're ass is trapped
and you'll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea
smelly whores
on the shore
love to take it
on all fours
dirty sluts
in the club
wanna get their
coochies rubbed
when you're back
at motel 6
you're craving cock
must get its fix
gang bang
squeal and moan
porno stars
your daddy's home
but let me tell you kids
what Jesus says…
when you love someone
let it show
tell him that you're a trashy ho
if you got a sling
and that's your thing
that's how your priest got the clap
gonnorhea, chlamydia, herpes and scabies
I don't care if you've got crabs, I wanna have your babies
I'll be your dirty doctor, and I'll nurse you when you're sick
And when you're feeling better, I am gonna milk your dick
sperminate me
i'll be the next pregnant man
you'll see us on oprah
and we'll live happily ever after…
and then she'll marry us
and give us a free honeymoon to hawaii
because she's oprah
and that's what she does
but let me tell you kids
what Oprah says…
when you love someone
you will know
he'll give your face
that special glow
but when his love grows stale
call up Gayle
cause she doesn't have the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea
everybody follow along
let's go back to the start of the song
ready mom?
when you love someone
take it slow
don't let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he's not wrapped
you're ass is trapped
and you'll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea
[Image by Hannah Ross.]
That was really funny. I love how you keep pissing off the stupid haters in this site that for one reason or another, keep coming for more.
Every one knows gay men are pedophiles!!! And Gayrez! you are a living proof!!! By posting that nasty crap for kids and by constantly lusting after underage boys like the Jonas brothers, you proved it right!
hahahahahaha omg! I didn't listen to this yesterday cause I didn't know wtf to think about it, but now…IT'S CRAZY! Crazy hilarious I mean XD geez this sound like something you would say and it's great
Perez ! i lovee youu, your the best !!
the song was too funnny, and it was prettty catchy as well.
Keep it cominggg.
lOVE & pEACE
LOL!!!!
BARF
Embarrassing.
Haha, wow. This is super catchy & I think it's gunna do very well…. funny songs always get good recognition!
Wooo!
wow after that perez you have no right to make fun of anyone's singing.
that song is the f!@#in shiz! love it. been meaning to tell ya - you look awesome. you look like you've lost so much weight!!
HAHA, that's funny stuff. Good job!
LOVE IT!!
I want to put this song on my Myspace page.
yuk Perez. The lyrics I mean. I like the beat but those lyrics are terrible.
Perez! OMG! SO effin' funny!!!!
Nothing but a waaaay too long limerick. Not even a good limerick because at least limericks are naughty because of clever plays on words—-not graphic, disgusting, seedy words meant for nothing other than to shock. It was funny though, but horrible and wrong too. I like your voice and you do put a lot of personality into it. Not a shy one are you.
LOVES IT !!
Re: DALE – Dude, get a fucking sense of humor. You're lame.
this song is very offensive
Perez may love Canada But Canada don't love Perez!!!
You are a loudmouth and that song is one of THE WORST I have EVER heard. I can't believe you make comments about other people's non-talent, try posting about how much YOU SUCK
LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE T!
that song is fucking HIGHlarious!
LOVE YA PEREZ!
My new favorite song!!!
Your mama must be mighty proud ….
Oh my goodness that was hilarious!! Thanks Perez for making me laugh at the end of a hard day.
I have no idea why people slag you off! why the hell are they subscribed to this page in the first place?? Of course alway fun to read the whole gay = pedophile. Very original! we all know every gay man like kids!! grow up for flop sake!! and learn something about the world! you homophobes!
LOVE the song, Love you love everything about you, thinking about you being the theme of my next party!
keep doing what you are doing
danny
x
Why Perez, why?
Honestly I have a pretty good sense of humor and this is just.. ridiculous. No need?
You are one crazy mother fucker love it its hilaous.How long did take you to come up with
the song.
the sad part is that the music, rhythm and voice are cool so it could have been a good song… but there goes Perez putting perv lyrics :/
lmao, that was funny!!
I LOVE IT!!! That is sooo awesome! Totally going to buy it. it will actually be the first itunes song I will have ever purchased!
love it!
A) "Bussy" hole?
B) Nasty & offensive. Especially the Jesus/priest part. It won't be such a fun song when you have to listen to on repeat for infinity in hell…and you actually have the clap.
Love it!!!! I went and got my copy at iTunes!!!
Re: DALE – I'm 33 and LOVE it!!!!!
perezzz why are you so addicting !!! haven't missed a single post for probably 2 years
Re: DrinkYourKoolaid – I have a sense of humor, tell me where the funny part was? If you find this shit funny congats you have the intellectually of a 12 year old.
I don't think it's funny or clever at all. Kind of scratching my head about why you would write something like that. I thought I liked you, but now I think I actually…………don't. I'm no prude, but this song is just vile, not to mention stinky. Just yuck.
I'm proud of all the responses from hilton readers who ain't sheep and can make hold hilton to the fire and responsible for being the definition of a "douchebag". For someone who's made a career of tearing down young women and now trying to capitalize on that same fame is beyond disgusting.
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! Super funny!! Who cares what anyone else says…. lifes about being silly and fun… it is in no way offensive, you are just making people laugh. It is a FANTASTIC songxxxxoooo
i have been reading your blog for years. since you first gained a following. i have loved you since the beginning. however, i find depressing fault with you now for spending months ragging on celebrities or "celebutards" who try and garner a singing career in addition to whatever else makes them famous, when you then go start creating music and posting it like it's the cats meow. so what if you admit that it's in jest and just for fun. you're clearly proud and mesmerized by the feelings associated with creating this music and the attention you're getting for it. isn't this what all the other individuals you make fun of were trying to do too? for once i find you to be irrevocably hypocritical in a shameful manner. you SHOULD be proud of making music and for doing things that you like and make you happy, but you should also be able to let other people do the same without calling them idiots or hopeless and talentless. to each their own, ok?
Your song is god-fucking-awful. It really is. There isn't anything to like there. It is complete and utter shit and so are you. I can't even begin to explain.
Thank you for your sensible input Dale.
how very "Rent" of you. Reminds me of Angel.
Very silly and fun
tasteless, utter garbage. Only makes me think your I.Q. is lower than a fifth grader…sorry fifth graders.
youre starting to remind me of tom cruise. you think way, way, way too much of yourself.
You know what……….I love it! You are a real nut! We need more people with a good sense of humor in this crazy mixed up world! (Its great how you tell your mom to sing along! LOL) I love the song and I love your voice. Keep singing!
Your biggest fan,
Judy C
LOL this is so fucking catchy XD
Seriously. You are a filthy idiot.
Mario, knock yourself out. I've heard the song and I think it's terrible, but playboy, if people are going to dowload this and you're going to make money, then mad props, my boy. 99 times out of 100, I disagree with what you post, but I will always fight for your right to argue your point, however nonsensical it might be. I'm going to rip on you as long as you have this site, but at the same time, I'm supporting it. Best of luck, you Cuban bastard! But in all seriousness, keep up the good work, Mario.
Yuck. Your song is seriously warped and sick.
I LOVE YOU PEREZ!!!!! YOUR GNIKCUF BRILLIANT!!!
I fucking hope you don't get famous with this shit man!
i fucking love you perez! make a whole album already!!!
Somewhere, Lennon & McCartney are pissing themselves with laughter! Take a hint Mario; talent=not yours.
awww perez that was BEYOND amazing! I've been reading you since foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…… Let that music career build up you got MY grammy nomination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
perez is that shit fuck all you haterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thank you - as English is not my mother tongue, I hadn got all the lyrics right just upon hearing it …
i must say d beat is catchy..i'll give credit where its due..but that's abt it perez..da lyric is gross..gross perez gross!!are you some sort of sexual addict or pervert?!!after blogging so much asking ppl to go to rehab and also abt ppl who went to rehab..maybe its abt time u do too!!u need help my dear!i still love ur site but that doesnt mean i agree with everything u say or do!and in this case,i so dont agree with u!GROSS!!!
Dirty old man [24] says: "I love child porn…"
————————————
I'm going to hope that you mean "porn by a child"
————————————
……as in…..Perez is child-like.
I felt really sad when I read this. It made me realise just what a cesspool our whole world has become. Morally and culturally bankrupt. This is the kind of world I'm raising my children in.
talloolah [25] says: "…IF YOU DONT LIKE PEREZ, THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SITE…"
—————————————
To see how low the swine can go
~..~
For future reference, please close your mouth for photos.
Totally excellent man!
All you miserable people out there complaining about this song should get a sense of humour!
why even go as far as creating a profile on here if you're just going to talk shit!!! How lame!!
I LOVE THE SONG!!! I think it's funny!!
a perfect example of "jumping the shark"
JZ [29] says: You got part of your own lyrics wrong. At "everybody sing along" you say "follow along".
————————————–
He probably stole it, just like he steals the articles and photos that he posts in this shiteous site. You can take any string of words, put quotation marks around them, and Google it ~ you will see that the same article was posted by other sites before the link to Perez, word-for-word. Perez doesn't even write the comments at the end of the articles. He also doesn't give the websites or photographers artistic credit. It really is disgustiing that he can steal their art and deface it, and get wealthy by doing that. It is also disgusting that he is so desperate for fame, that he would hurt little girls and walk all over people just to get a low end piece of it.
~..~
snort
Paprika [30] says: (how can french people get the song ?)
———————————-
Don't you mean "people in France"?
———————————-
slimmer_04 [40] says: "…gonna go buy it and get more laughs out of it…"
————————————
Perez steals the articles and photos that he posts in this shiteous site, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you were to steal his song. There are hungry children in your town that you could spend that money on.
————————————
RedApple [117] says: "…Not a shy one are you?"
——————————————–
It's not that Perez lacks shyness ~ he lacks a conscience.
——————————————–
I love it Perez. In my opinion it is top ten material xx
AnneAnne [124] says: Your mama must be mighty proud.
—————————————————-
Actually, his virtual mother is a virtual doormat.
—————————————————-
plz make a vid… ull sure be able to do beter den anytin heidi trys to do…
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ perez ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
[[[[[[[[[[great singing]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
[[[[[[[ voice/y'r hott ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
zzzzzzzz luv ♥ U zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*wipes tear from eye* That…that was amazing… your mastery of the language is only surpassed by your rapier wit. You have taken the genre to an entirely new level. I haven't been this moved since Rick Dee's Disco Duck.
I listened to the first 10 seconds, said Oh No!!! and turned it off. Then I read the comments and enough people seemed to think it was funny to warrant a second listen. OH NO!!!!! Don't ever do this again!!!!! Sorry buddy but THAT was terrible. Bad the first time, made my ears bleed the second.
that is the grossest thing ever
it makes me want to throw up
yes congratulations your mother must be so proud you douche bag! YOUR A Gross gay and a insult to all self respecting gays out there! Trash!
Perezzy!!!! LUVS IT!!! I keep listening to it because it is so great!!! Muah! Keep the hits coming!
LOL FUCKING FUNNY.
omg this is the GREATEST!! HA HA i love you perez!!!!
Re: Tiffanylee – You see nothing offensive about this song? Then you won't find this offensive - fuck off you stupid cunt.
YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT PEREZ!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH
I LOVE THIS SONG (L)
You are a fucking PIG dude. Your mama must be so proud…NOT…you sit here and juge others like you are some morally superior individual, dude u are a POS.
Your comments towards others must be your therapy for self loathing..
Re: MeowMix67 – I like that one…
WTF is wrong with you, Perez? That shows a fucked up mind right there…keep that shit to yourself!
☻☻☻zzz ♥♥ zzzzz P/nazty, U live up 2/y'r name zz☻☻zz}}
☻ ♥ zzzzzz luv it zzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz☻☻☻☻☻zz}}
Perez,
After all the great things you have done the past couple of weeks. Martha Stewart, etc., etc., I have to say that was pretty disgusting and I would have really expected more. That was big let down!!!
Re: StoneM –
lol…*GG*
You know how you spout on here to stick with what you know? Yeah, that applies to you also dude. That has gotta be the lamest song EVER.
omg! this is the best thing i ever heard!!!
that is the most filthy,foul,nasty,tasteless,infantile,lowlife,morally bankrupt excuse for a song ive ever read. go back and try again.
Now I'm just disgusted with myself for coming here to read. That's was fucked up!
Haha!!! Loves it
I'm so glad you printed the lyrics. As a straight from the Midwest, "bussy" was confusing me.
Perez, I really love the Buddy Holly feel to the chorus. I'm never getting this our of my head, am I?
fucking funny
This song really gets stuck in your head hehe. Sounds like a hit!
perez i love you,
you are my herooooooooooooooooo!
This is one sick ass song…………….but I love it!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
Ok I was prepared to hate it, but I loved it! You had me and the girls in my office laughing are asses off! Good Job!!! LOL