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Chuck Norris Can Run For President, The President Can Not Run For Chuck Norris
Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True > Politik
Hey Texas!
If you ever plan on seceding from the Union, Chuck Norris has got your back!
He'll be your commander-in-chief, y'all!
The actor and avid Mike Huckabee supporter ranted in an online column on Monday and published his desires to become Texas' first president!
Can we say delusional?
Says Norris: "I may run for president of Texas. That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state."
The martial arts master believes "thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation" with Texas leading the fight!
"Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America," Chuck stated.
Ha!
Spare us of your uber-republican mumbo jumbo, please!
[Image via WENN.]
Fuck Chuck Norris! Ain't gonna let my beloved homestate secede from US of A! I'm embarassed about this, really! Don't even think about messing with me!
HELL YEAH! Don't hate just cause you don't know about that T E X!
Delusional botox ridden pompous jackass.
What is he a 100 years old?
He and his cells are so powerful that they got their ass kicked by 9pm in the election.
Go back to your thighmaster commercials.
Get over yourself Perez, the DEMS are running us into the ground. Trillions and Trillions of dollars.
and where is lol girl now?
i like him better when he's not talking
The way things are going, Chuck Norris might make a better president than Obama.
And before all of you psychos try to jump me… chill, I'm just kidding.
haha! im not an unberrepublican infact im an uber gay liberal..but i agree that people from texas do know best! the rest of the country should take example to the state that is suffering the least because of greed and old money politics
Chuck Norris wears the worst hairpiece on the planet.
Re: JigSaw – let alone long dong
Re: CarolineR – the way obama is spending? you might be right
what a turd. He can't even act.
Spare us of your uber-DEMOCRATIC mumbo jumbo, mario!
Don't make Chuck mad Mario, he'll come up there and give you a round house slap in the mouth with his dick!
O RLY?
"Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America". Um secede like the cowardly mofos you are? Awesome you should totally do that. The president for 8 years from YOUR STATE fucks up the economy and when the next administration comes in and tries to prevent the millions and millions of recently jobless from starving and living on the street,and you decide you want to take you ass elsewhere? If you're that un-American, then please abandon the real Americans and GTFO.
Texans like THAT have over-boosted egos that the borders of the state could not even contain. GO AWAY!
Texas does not need the United States, the United States needs Texas!!! yeaaah!
FUCK YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chuck Norris is the shit!!!!!!!! I'd vote for him:] He'd kick the SHiT out of any bitch who ran their mouth. OH….like you Perez!!!!
No thanks
I'm pretty sure that's not uber-republican..it's just Texas! I live in Austin- extremely liberal, and if you're from Texas it trumps all.
Texas can secede, for all I care. Good riddance. You redneck idiots. Thanks for 8 years of crap. Except Austin.
And this is exactly why I refuse to visit Texas.
I like Chuck, He minds me of my uncle Tabootha! He used pertend he knew karate to scare of the possum that try and take our food when wees out fishing for frogs in the creek out yonder! I likes him a lot!
Spare us the the liberal, Democratic kool-aid drinking BS Mario!
what an idiot. he is delusional if he thinks this would happen. i live in texas and seriously seriously doubt that he would help anything but help the obese ppl lose some weight.
TexasVampire … if you knew half of what you were talking about than you might sing a different tune.
All I have to say to Perez is … "Don't effing talk about something you know NOTHING about, ESPECIALLY in regard to a state you know NOTHING about!"
Texas will stomp on the others but I guarantee you … Chuck Norris (love ya buddy) will not be Prez but RON PAUL WILL!!!!!!!!
Debra Medina will be Governor of course!
Get ready to follow suit effers if you know what's good for you!!!!
WOW! Chuck Norris is the man…
LOL Girl, this is your day!!!
not all texans are crazy!! there are plenty of normal democrats living there!!
Re: TracieO – good doesnt visit texas your doing us all a favor by not coming down here
What's the fat cow mooing about now?
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Oh, that's right, BULLSHIT!
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MOO!
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FUCKING COWS STINKING UP THE PLANET WITH ALL THAT HOT GAS!
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BRUCE LEE KICKED CHUCK NORRIS'S ASS! HE'S A P U SS Y! GRADE A!
Nice to see people leading the charge towards Civil War 2.
FUCK TEXAS!
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STUPID FUCKING TEXAN'S LOST THE ALAMO!
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DOWNHILL EVER SINCE.
OK, NOT ALL TEXAS.
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FUCK THE DUMBSHITS IN TEXAS!
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YOU KNOW, THE SHITS!
Stop trying to toss Nobama's salad. Chuck could kick your and Nobama's ass all together. Fuck the Dems.
Re: chloeannelan – can I visit you so I can teach you proper grammar and spelling? that would make me sooooo happy.
This guy's time is past. He's a real right wing TURD. Looks at life through a straw and has lost his grip on reality. A real stupid Republican douche bag lol.
Re: BBBoricua – #30 YEAH HONEY !WHERE IS SHE?PEREZ EVEN DID A HEADLINE THE SAME WAY SHE WOULD HAVE DONE!! OH WELL!!!!
Re: TracieO – F** U Tracie bitch don't visit we don't want you here as a matter of fact we will shoot you w our big bad guns LOL
Re: obamasfaintinggirl –
I know exactly what I say. Seceding is not going to solve problems we have here. Are we going backwards? People just need to grow up. That's all.
I figured this would elicit some potentially hilarious repsonses and it does not disappoint. In fact it's the only reason I read this website. In all seriousness though, whether you consider yourself a Literal Jackass or neutered Elephant, this could turn into a big deal down the road, as a governor did say this by the way. Not now, or ever probably, but reconciliation does seem to be a bit farfetched at this point. I mean read your own comments. And think about how you Dems felt under Bush, and How you Reps feel now under Obama. And how the roles have reversed so completely, and hypocritically also. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so serious.
Re: SWEETPIECE! – God you're a bitch!!! I might be an Aussie but I have some beautiful friends from Texas.
So you're just gonna hate on a whole state now???
No wonder you're so closed about who you really are - I'd be worried if I were you! Texans carry big guns and aren't real fond of loud mouthed rabbits.
Re: SammyBas –
I'm with you!
Re: LiFi02 –
Get your facts straight…are you THAT politically ignorant to think that Bush fucked everything up? Go back to school and read the history books and when you have a decent education, come back and talk smack.
Re: stickyvicki –
How true this is!!!
Hey Perez, I will debate you ANYTIME, ANYWHERE about politics you fruit loop. Lets go right now, seriously, bring it. I want to school you.
You are such a moron and you are dragging other people down with you.
Republicans are way better than democrats, (not that either party is good)you've just been brainwashed into believing you need the government to take care of you. Grow up, step out into the real world and take care of yourself. That goes for all the morons that read your blog too. Log off and get jobs bitches!!
If everyone would do that this country would be a much better place.
Okay, so if we seceded, we would definitely not vote Norris into presidency, thank you very much. He's so screwed up thinking that we ever would. He'd fuck everything up.
Way to be disgustingly biased, Perez. You alienate a large part of your audience by making comments like these.
"Spare us of your uber-republican mumbo jumbo, please" seriously? Republicans aren't the only people who believe in state's rights– guess who else did? Our founding fathers!
I really used to like this blog, but I think Perez is getting too big for his britches. I'll stick with TMZ, thank you.
Does your mother "RANT" about you being a cocksucker, Perezy???
Re: TracieO – Hey, just because some dumbasses from Texas that decide to make themselves be in the public eye are redneck, definitely does not mean every person here is. Actually, most aren't, especially where I am. So no generalizing. That's purely ignorant.
Re: SWEETPIECE! – as long as your 'kind' wouldn't be there, it'd be a GREAT place!! people who do for themselves! don't expect gov't to take care of them!!
only lazy, lowlife losers want THAT as an option!
HOORAY for those who do for themselves!!! HOOOOORRRAAAAYYYYYYYY!
WHEW! IT STINKS IN HERE! COW'S DEPLETING THE OZONE WITH ALL THEIR METHANE FARTS!
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A BUNCH OF FUCKING RED NECKED COW FUCKERS AND ONE AUSSI!
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NOXIOUS COMBO!
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HEY BUNCH OF BITCHES! HA! LOVE IT! BUNCH OF BITCHES!!!!! LOL!
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WHOLE BUNCH O' BITCHES!
ARE YOU ALL WET FOR CHUCK?
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE!
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LOL!
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GO STICK YOU GUNS UP YOUR SLIMY TWATS! WHEWYA! OH, OH, OH, CHUCK!
CELL GROUPS?! That sounds like terrorist talk to me. FBI needs to look into this nonsense.
YEAH CHUCK! I'd vote for him and I dont even live in Texas..He rocks my Socks! Screw the democraps! They dont know how to run this country..they are gona put everyone out on the streets…Obama is just a puppet on a string..he reads from monitors bc he doesnt know what hes talking about..hes like the Great and Powerful Oz while some other wimpy guy is behind the curtain actually running the show. Its pathetic how scared you guys are of republicans..Just shows we got more to run on and that we know what we are doing..keep on lying to the public..it will catch up to you when people are so poor they cant pay to see you act in a movie or own a computer to read your gossip bullshit.
Re: Wanna Milk Me? – YAY!
He wears a toupe. I did a bit part on Walker Texas Ranger like 10 years ago and I met him in the make-up trailer before he had his toupe on. He is COMPLETELY bald on top with hair on the sides. His make-up lady Olga didn't take her eyes of his hair when he was filming, that was kind of funny.
Once again, PLEASE don't stereotype us all because of the way some Texans are! Some of my friends though, have the same opinions as Chuck Norris. These are the same friends that I've reached my breaking point with. If they say another word about it, I genuinely intend to slap them in the face. Hard.
Re: Mistress – I LIKE MY GUNS AND HAVE BEEN RABBIT HUNTING MANY TIMES! SEE LIBERALS LOOK DOWN ON MY RABBIT HUNTING BUT BELIEVE IN MURDERING UNBORN CHILDREN! OH AND THEY LOVE HELPING CRIMINALS AND DON'T BELIEVE THEY SHOULD PAY FOR THEIR CRIMES…JUST A LITTLE TALKING TO AND SOME REHAB AND THEY WANT THEM BACK IN SOCIETY!!! I'M JUST USING TEXAN TALK LOL
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LIBERALS CAN KISS MY ASS BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEIR SKEWED IDEOLOGY! PEACE AND LOVE…YET THEY ARE O.K. WITH ABORTION! THEY SAY: WE WANT TO HELP THE POOR…YET THEY INSTILL PROGRAMS TO KEEP THEM JUST THAT…POOR!
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THEY ARE WHINERS! THEY ARE DELUSIONAL! THEY CONTRADICT EVERY STANCE THEY TAKE WITH ANOTHER!!!
Re: Hot Monkey Love Obama Style Hates Perez – oh, i'll never forget during elections when SWEETPIECE admitted that if McCain was elected she'd keep doing what she was doing……..WORKING!!!!
loser bitch thought with obama she could quit her job! typical liberal.
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she and 'hers' piss me off. WORK for what you have………..
nah, she'd like to sponge off of others!! TOTAL LOSER!!!
Re: leleana –
You want to slap your friends because they are smart and educated and you are a blind follower? Thats great!
I wonder why they are friends with you to be honest..bet they talk shit about how dumb you are behind your back.
Re: Moimeme – 64 They are! You betcha!
If you bother to open up that closed, pea brain mind of yours, you might actually learn something valuable from Mike Huckabee. STOP being a Hater!
I'd like to smack Perez in the head til I Knocked some normal sense into him. Then I would give him a one way ticket to china where he can live with his fellow communist friends. That would take care of one dumbass liberal who secretly hates this country. I dunno who your parents were but they raised a real f'd up kid.
uhm, if you don't like it, don't read it. Spare us the uber-democrat mumbo jumbo.
Re: Hot Monkey Love Obama Style Hates Perez – Pelosi is a fucking bitch! She needs to drop dead already..maybe she will die from all the cosmetic surgery she gets. Lets all HOPE!
FUCK CHUCK
Re: SWEETPIECE! – what kills me about you and 'your' kind is your desire to sprew peace and love. oh, so concerned about the ice shelves and blah, blah, blah.
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but it's so nice to see you, peace-lover to send and spew such HATE! you are the ultimate hate-monger! typical liberal…don't agree with ME, i will destroy you in words……
funny liberal. can dish it out, but can't take it - for even an appetizer!
be concerned about what is HERE and NOW.
you are such a freaking tree loving freak! you don't know up from down!
Texas could pull it off without much problem. 5th largest economy in the world. All the natural resources they need. Their national guard is bigger than a lot of countries entire military, and some of the world's largest military contractors are in Texas (General Dynamics. etc..) Plenty of shipping harbors for import/export. Lots of oil refineries. They are paying the federal government WAY more money than the federal government is paying them. Say whatever you want, but our leaders - both Democrat AND Republicans - don't give a rip about the people anymore, they are much more concerned about keeping themselves in power. This administration has spent more money in it's first 100 days than all previous administrations combined, and much of it was paying-off political favors. We are freakin bankrupt. All that money they take out of your check for Social Security is gone - chances are you will never see a dime. A lot of Americans are fed up. Texas CAN pull this off - believe it! As they say down there "Don't Mess With Texas"
Please tell me this is not happening. It is people like him that make us from Texas look so stupid. Not all of us are ignorant republicans.
Re: SWEETPIECE! –
Best that you stay far away from your God Obama as it is a known fact that Portugese Water Dogs LOVE to hunt and Kill Rabbits!!!
Perez, pull your lips off Obama's butt long enough to stick your head back where the sun doesn't shine and spare us your liberal kool-aid drinking. In less 90 days BO has done more damage to the country that it is going to take decades to recover from.
I am a mirror exposing you SHITS for the ugly bitches you are!
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When THE SHITS start throwing their BULLSHIT, I TURN THE FAN ON!
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My fur is clean! Very clean!
Re: SWEETPIECE! –
Same goes for Michelles "Family Garden". If She catches your mangy ass in there she is gonna go ape shit quick!!!!!! Does the bunny boiling scene from Fatal Attraction bring back memories?!!!
I actually don't think it's so crazy for some Texans to want to secede. After all, we stole the land from the Mexicans in a stupid war. They've been talking about it before Obama, and will continue to do so after. It's not a big deal.
perez, you are such a fagtastic asshole.
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"spare us from your uber republican mumbo jumbo." dude fuck you. why are republicans mumbo jumbo but crazy ass liberals are so right and perfect?
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i thought liberals were supposed to be the SO-FUCKING-CALLED "open minded" ones. well then you should accept that everyone is different and has different OPINIONS… yes… OPINIONS. republicans know and think that.
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i beg to differ on crazy psycho liberals being the ones are so open minded and accepting. we accept anyone and everyone. always.
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like, YOUR shit that you think and believe is the mumbo jumbo, not anyone elses.'
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"Senator John McCain has a lifetime of experience that he would bring to the White House. And Senator Obama has a speech he gave in 2002." - Hillary Clinton
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"Governments big enough to supply everything you need are big enough to take everything you have."
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." - all Thomas Jefferson
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republicans are ALWAYS right! so get used to it.
Re: BluesClues5022 – BAHAHAHAHA GOOD THOUGHTS!
Obama lower the standard to become president. If he , who took drugs, hated America, is now in the White House, anybody can.- Go for it Chuck…
LOL at you idiots talking shit about Texas. We are to busy being the richest state in this country to give a shit about your stereotype bullshit
Re: Wanna Milk Me? – ugh, tell me about it. liberals suck hard.
Re: CalabasasHomeOwner – I…Love…You
FORGET CATS AND DOGS!!!
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SPAY & NEUTER LIBERALS!!!
what an idiot. maybe he should read some history books and find out what happened the last time states tried to secede from the union. just like abe lincoln, barack obama will kick some ass.
Re: AlliTheGreat – THANK YOU DOLL FOR YOUR COMMENTS!!
at least some GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: SWEETPIECE! – ha. i am done for the evening, but where is your tranny whore tonite to lick your bunny ass, as you do he-shes?
go give your boss a nice bj…maybe you'll get 10 bucks extra in your paycheck next week……doubtful, but a whore can hope, no?
Haha yes I love it. This is the best headline I have seen today.
www.365hangers.com
You know what Bush may have come from texas but not all of his administration did, and for the record IT TAKES MORE THAN ONE PERSON TO FUCK UP A COUNTRY! remember anything from govt classes???? so get the fuck over yourselves about saying texas is stupid cuz we bred one ignorant ass. and by the by Im not democrat or republican. Texas has the right to secede if we choose to. Get over it.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
What a moron!!!
Free speech, Perez. He has as much of a right to spout off as you do.
Hey I say let them secede. They won't get any hurricane or any other disaster help from the Federal Government. In case of war or insurrection they will be on their own. Oh, they'll have the national guard who will no longer be equipped by the Federal Government. Gee, aren't they PAID by the Federal Government too?
No Federal subsidies. No Federal Grants, Scholarships or loans. No OIL or farm subsides, I'm sure the oil companies and farmers will thank them. Wow, they even get to pay all those Federal Employees in their state out of their own pockets. I think they might be needing a post office, but if they Secede from the U.S. will the Federal Postal Employees in OTHER states deliver their mail. Might need to go back to the PONY EXPRESS. Oh, what a tangle web we weave….
The more I think of this, the more I like the idea.
Not all Republicans are crazy, they're just letting themselves be P-Whipped by the far right. Nothing with FAR in front of it's name is good. that goes for the left too.
Perez f u and all these ppl who are talking shizz about TX …I hope we secede from the union …U.S needs TX we dont need the U.S!!!….lets see what ya'll will do w/out all our refineries and $$$$$$$$$$$…I LOVE TEXAS AND SUPPORT RICK PERRY!!! such Texas haters here geeeeeeeeeezzz jealous much???
Re: CalabasasHomeOwner – I think I am in love w you ..lol
Re: c00kiem0nster – I went to college in Texas and left there years ago for a job in another state. With the way this country is going down the toilet, if Texas were to get serious about it, I would have my butt in the Hill Country in a heartbeat. Libs can fool themselves if they want, but the truth is, Texas doesn't need America, America needs Texas!
Re: elle85 – YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL IDIOT. IF YOU THINK BARACK OBAMA IS GONNA "KICK ASS"…. UR RIGHT…. KICK OUR ASSES ALL THE WAY TO HELL. ARE YOU AWARE THAT HE IS A MARXIST? AND THAT ONCE A CRITICAL AMOUNT OF CITIZENS ARE DEPENDENT ON THE GOV. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO GO BUT TO CRASH? THATS RIGHT. YOU CANT STOP SUPPORTING PEOPLE, YOU CANT STOP SPENDING MONEY…. SO YOU SPEND SPEND AND FUCKING SPEND, INFLATION AND TAXES ARE ABOUT TO GO SKY-FUCKING-HIGH…. STANDARDS OF LIVING ARE ABOUT TO GO LOWER THAN EVER, AND THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO DO BUT CRASH.
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IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED RIGHT NOW…..
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YOU… ARE… NOT… PAYING… ATTENTION!!!
Re: AmbrosiaRose – SOME OF US WORK HARD FOR WHAT WE HAVE AND DONT ACTUALLY WANT GOVERNMENT AID. US TEXANS WOULD BE HAPPY AND PUNCH! ONLY LAZY ASS DEMOCRATS FALL FOR THAT SHIT.
I am truly appalled! I live here in Texas and what Rick Perry says is truly un-american! I would in no way want to secede. So Chuck Norris has no right to say that all Texans want to secede. But hey maybe it's just cuz I'm a democrat. But that is truly appalling!
The governor of Texas is a cocky, arrogant, dumbass, and what Chuck Norris said makes him one too.
I'm a Texan but I know if we become our "own union" I'm leaving permanently (with few trips to Austin).
Please note not everyone in Texas acts this way or believes this crap.
Hey I'm a Texan through and through….We've enough natural resources as to provide a decent way of living on our own…I voted for Obama though, and don't think things are that bad. However, if things did get bad enough I'd back him for prez. Don't hate on Texas. We'd kick all y'alls asses!
Go ahead and secede, Texas. Just make sure to take Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana with you. Hopefully, we can build a fence to keep you out of the United States forever. when you need military protection…don't look to us. when you need flood or other natural disaster relief, don't look to us. When you need anything at all, just look to Chuck Norris. He will save you.
Fuckers.