Jon Gosselin Admits To Being A Douche For Longer Than We Thought - And He's In Love!

Hey, remember when Jon and Kate Gosselin said they weren’t going to talk to the media anymore?
Jon seems to be suffering from “famneisa” and decided to $peak out about his split with Kate and his new bachelor lifestyle. In an interview with In Touch Weekly , he blames Kate for the breakup and professes his love to one and only one girl.
First off, Jon gives his timeline of when his marriage was over and when he was able to become a terrible excuse for a human being.
He says, ├óΓé¼┼ôMany people think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by Sept. 30.”
Jon continues to attempt to diffuse America’s ridicule of him by asserting that, in the beginning of the separation, he would hang “just with my guy friends” and “not too many girls.”
He explains that the beginning of the end happened when the couple went on a trip to Utah in January 2009 and flew back home separately. When Jon finally did come home, Kate refused to speak to him so he just moved out of the house, adding ├óΓé¼┼ôThat├óΓé¼Γäós when I started to just hang out and meet people, and feel free.”
But the big reveal in the interview is Jon’s final word on who’s the leading lady in his life.
Is it the babysitter? Kate 2.0? The bitch with the brother that was selling her bed on eBay? Turns out it’s none other than Homewrecking Hailey, with her criminal record and her bong!
He tells the mag, “She is a really cool person. We both like snowboarding and sports. She is like the female version of me. She is so caring, kind and open. She is beautiful and glowing, and I love her to death.”
We liked you better when you didn’t talk so much. Maybe that’s why Kate kept you quiet, to save you from showing the world the real prick that you are!
P.S. What photoshop artist did In Touch hire to do that horrible pic of Jon? Yuck! Glow much?