If you are a "Jewmaican" or smoke bacon, this maybe offensive to you.
For the rest of us, make room on the platform for the biggestAmy Winehouse trainwreck performance yet!
She is rapping (apparently ten times a night) and we now get to be privy to at least one performance.
She is joined by some dude name Zalon. In this alternative universe, the white bitch is rapping, while the black guy is singing the sweet melodies. Go figure!
Mitch Winehouse is moving on from ratting his daughter out to the tabloids to gossiping about her on television via the jungle!
Papa Winehouse has signed on to appear on the UK's version of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! alongside LaToya and Tito Jackson, and Kerry Katona's ex, Brian McFadden, just to name a few.
ITV believe Mitch will be a "fantastic addition" to the show, and sources say Winehouse is up for the challenge of the game because he thinks it'd be "a lot of fun."
And of course, Papa Winehouse has an album due to come out in a few weeks, so ramping up the promotion wouldn't hurt either.
This could be a good start considering we don't trust her on her own!
In preparation for her third album, Amy Winehouse has partnered with producer, Mark Ronson, whose only real international success came when he produced Wino's Back To Black album.
And although they had a falling out over her drug habit, they have reconciled.
"I was talking to Mark about Amy," said friend to both parties, rapper Lethal Bizzle. "He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome."
Always the picture of maturity, Amy Winehouse took it to the schoolyard to confront the bully of her 13-year-old goddaughter and protege, Dionne Bromfield.
At a school in the Southgate area of North London on Monday, a livid Wino spat on the girl believed to be bullying Bromfield and hurled numerous insults her way.
We shudder to think of the horrific things that must have come spewing out of her filthy mouth!
Not to disappoint the fans nearby, she signed autographs once the incident was broken up by a by-stander.
"Amy wanted to create a label where she could sign and work closely with a small roster of artists she really believed in. Lioness symbolises strength, pride and confidence, and will be a place where the artist is given the time, space and the opportunity to develop and flourish."
The first artist on the label is her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield from London.
Wino says of Dionne:
"The first time I heard Dionne sing, I couldn't believe what I was hearing…such an amazing voice from such a young girl. I'm just so proud of her. I'm very lucky to have a record label. I've got all these people that I love, that are really talented — and Dionne is my number one."
This could be a worthy endeavor, Wino! Working on more projects will keep you from other…distractions.
In the past couple of weeks, Wino has had some major dental work done to correct her drug-addled teeth!
Ames has gone under a "series of fillings and extractions" to correct her busted up teeth, which friends of the hard-pAArtying Brit say were completely trashed.
"Amy's teeth were in a pretty gross state," says one friend. "They were brown and stained and needed major work on them and she was determined to get them back to their sparkling best."
The only problem?
Winehouse is back on the drugs!
Prescribed, mind you.
The insider says that Amy has been given some "very strong drugs" to deal with the "constant" pain, but Ames believes the pain and sacrifice is worth it in the end.
