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Bai Ling Is A Port-A-Potty Authority?

| Filed under: Bai LingSilly!Holidaze

Bai Ling Is A Port-A-Potty Authority

If you want to be a successful actress like Bai Ling, you have to be prepared to practice, practice, practice- anywhere you can get it!

While Christmas tree shopping last week, the Crank: High Voltage star was spotted acting cray cray!

She climbed a signpost, stole a ribbon, and made funny faces in the port-a-potty. Yes, we said faces- get your mind out of the gutter!

The silly gurl must have noticed the paps, because otherwise she was playing to cameras that weren't there!

We hope this is an attempt to get more comedy roles and not another guest spot on Celebrity Rehab!

[Image via FameFlynet Pictures.]

Bai Ling Has A Cheetah Pet!

| Filed under: Bai Ling

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This bitch is crazy!!!

Some of you may think your cat is ferocious, but unless it is half cheetah, like Bai Ling's, you would be wrong.

Yes, Bai Ling has herself one mixed up feline. It's a hybrid of a cheetah and a domestic house cat. We're trying to decide which scenario is more plausible - genetic breeding or the cheetah eating the house cat after it sperminated her. However it happened, the point is it did, and Bai Ling just loves her little feline friend, Quiji, to pieces.

And Quiji may just be ripping Bai Ling to pieces, if she isn't careful. She insists that the $30,000 cat in in no way a "wild danger," but she does mention how the cat can get a little too close for comfort:

"I sleep naked … She was kissing me, and suddenly, she woke up. She saw my nipple, and oh my God, she went for it!" Bai says, laughing. "If I wasn't fast, my nipple is gone. She thought it was a toy or something."

What? You can laugh about that, you lunatic?! She could have ripped your whole tittay off! You would have been monetarily lopsided!

Not a good look!

You better just hope she doesn't go for you face next!

Quote of the Day

| Filed under: Bai Ling

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"I deserve so much more than the roles I get offered now. I’m one of the best actresses. One day I will win an Oscar. I’m already winning it. I just have to find the platform to show it. I’m already winning it! I’ve got that talent."

- Wacktress Bai Ling tells Movieline

Gross & Grosser

| Filed under: Bai LingSuper SeniorsLove Line

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The steroids supplements may have damaged his brains, but it's sure doing wonders for Mickey Rourke's 15 minutes of comeback fame.

The Dr. 90210 victim was spotted pAArtying it up at the swanky Chateau Marmont in Hollyweird when attentionwhore Bai Ling flung herself at the actor and challenged him to some tongue wrasslin'.

He happily obliged, of course.

Awwww, famewhores in love!

We hope she didn't end the night with too much disappointment.

[Photo via Getty Images.]

Fill In The Blank

| Filed under: Bai LingFill In The Blank

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Wacktress Bai Ling is carrying a pussy at the premiere of National Lampoons The Great American Fantasy because ____________.

[Image via Buzz Foto.]

She Has Fans in Germany

| Filed under: Bai LingZportz

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A Perezcious reader in Deutschland tells us that the wacky and tacky Bai Ling will be the "presenter" of the Beijing Olympic Games for the big state-owned TV Station, ZDF.

ZDF is apparently already running trailers proclaiming, "Bai Ling presents the Olympic Games in the ZDF".

Click here and skip to minute 17 to see what happened 'behind the scenes' during Bai's trailer shoots.

Ha!

Looks like they found an interpreter who speaks train wreck!

She's probably so happy to be working!

When Celebrities Blog

| Filed under: Bai LingWhen Celebrities Blog

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Bai Ling is speaking out again about her little shoplifting arrest a few weeks ago and the lucky break she got yesterday.

The "actress" just posted the following message on her official blog:

"Good news

I just got the good news and I am relieved that the prosecutor has decided not to file misdemeanor charges against me and to treat this matter as an infraction. What happened was an innocent mistake on my part and I am confident that the truth will be told since I never had any intention of taking items without paying for them.

I appreciate the support of the public and especially my friends and my fans.

Thank you!"