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Brandon Davis News Archive

Ew, Can You Imagine What That Finger Smells Like?

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooParis HiltonBrandon DavisNicky Hilton

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We never want to!

While sitting next to Paris and Nicky Hilton at a Race to Erase MS charity event, Brandon Davis shows how he likes to finger his butt.

A clASSy act as always!

[Image via Celebrity Vibe.]

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Your Daily Douchebag: Scott Disick & Brandon Davis Edition

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooBrandon DavisLove LinePhotos!Kourtney Kardashian

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Well, well - what do we have here?

We thought we smelled the overwhelming, RANK musk of entitlement and grease!

Kourtney Kardashian's douchebag boyfriend, Scott Disick, decided to celebrate his Cinco de Mayo by terrorizing the streets of Beverly Hills with none other than Brandon Davis!

We're sure right after these photos were taken, these two lubed up with oil from each other's hair and had a long, slippery jerk off session together over how great they both are!!

BARF.

[Images via Fame Pictures and Ramey Pix.]

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Gummi Bear Sent To Rehab (Again)!

| Filed under: DrugsBrandon DavisAnne HecheJason DavisSad Sad

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HA! How mortifying!

Even though his mother, Nancy Davis, is afflicted with the disease and runs the fundraiser, Jason Davis will not be attending the Race to Erase MS gala tomorrow night - because his ass has been shipped off to Utah's Cirque Lodge for some very much need REHAB!

Apparently, his grandmother Barbara Davis was furious that the trainwreck made a fool of himself when he showed up uninvited to a Golden Globes after-party in January, so she and Nancy made sure he'd be out of the picture for the formal event!

The douche was overheard saying:

"Given her guest list of Anne Heche, Tom Arnold and other dysfunctional B-listers, I would've fit right in."

We think they should probably send Brandon along for the ride. Does the Cirque Lodge provide treatment for being a dumbass?

[Image via WENN.]

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Greasy Bear Caught Telling Lies For Attention!

| Filed under: Avril LavigneIcky Icky PooBrandon DavisLove LineBrody Jenner

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What a STOOPID loser!

The walking, talking strain of herpes otherwise known as Brandon Davis has apparently wiped all the grease and jizz out of his eyes and realized that he's completely irrelevant, because he's resorted to making shiz up just for attention!

Apparently, the twat was overheard telling a friend that Avril Lavigne cheated on Brody Jenner with HIM!

WTF?? LOLZ!

Insiders, of course, are confirming that this DEFINITELY did not happen.

HA! Sorry, bb!

You must really FAIL if even Avril Lavigne wouldn't be caught dead kissing you!

[Image via WENN.]

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When The Twat Called The Trainwreck Fat

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooCelebrity FeudsBrandon DavisLove LineMischa Barton

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Ouch! We all know girlfriend is a disaster, but SERIOUSLY, you greasy little prick??

The walking, talking strain of herpes otherwise known as Brandon Davis took some seriously low digs at Mischa Barton on Twitter, and even had the audacity to call her fat!

Just saw @jeffbeacher and thought it was Mischa

Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I'm gonna start dating plus size models. Not! Mischa the Hefer

Wow, Brandon! Congratulations!

You suck harder than she does!

Sure, the Mush may look a little doughey sometimes, but the only date you've got scheduled is for your next shot of penicillin, you asshat.

No self-respecting man, woman, or animal would go out with you, let alone a plus-sized model!

Get off Twitter and seizure your way back into whatever STD-infested gutter you crawled out of.

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via WENN.]

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Avril Making Out With Mystery Man!

| Filed under: Avril LavigneCanadialandBrandon DavisLove Line

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We can't believe that someone other than Greasy Bear would have her!

Fresh out of her marriage, Avril Lavigne was spotted making out with some random dude at NYC's Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel on Tuesday.

We think slutty just met him that night!

The pair were surrounded by a group of friends as they sipped vodka and champagne. As soon as Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl began to play, Avril leapt on the poor boy and began to shove her tongue down his throat.

And then, they exchanged numbers!

clASS act!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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