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Greasy Bear Caught Telling Lies For Attention!

| Filed under: Avril LavigneIcky Icky PooBrandon DavisLove LineBrody Jenner

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What a STOOPID loser!

The walking, talking strain of herpes otherwise known as Brandon Davis has apparently wiped all the grease and jizz out of his eyes and realized that he's completely irrelevant, because he's resorted to making shiz up just for attention!

Apparently, the twat was overheard telling a friend that Avril Lavigne cheated on Brody Jenner with HIM!

WTF?? LOLZ!

Insiders, of course, are confirming that this DEFINITELY did not happen.

HA! Sorry, bb!

You must really FAIL if even Avril Lavigne wouldn't be caught dead kissing you!

[Image via WENN.]

When The Twat Called The Trainwreck Fat

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooCelebrity FeudsBrandon DavisLove LineMischa Barton

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Ouch! We all know girlfriend is a disaster, but SERIOUSLY, you greasy little prick??

The walking, talking strain of herpes otherwise known as Brandon Davis took some seriously low digs at Mischa Barton on Twitter, and even had the audacity to call her fat!

Just saw @jeffbeacher and thought it was Mischa

Omg. Just realized my ex turned in to 1 of the fattest people in the planet. I'm gonna start dating plus size models. Not! Mischa the Hefer

Wow, Brandon! Congratulations!

You suck harder than she does!

Sure, the Mush may look a little doughey sometimes, but the only date you've got scheduled is for your next shot of penicillin, you asshat.

No self-respecting man, woman, or animal would go out with you, let alone a plus-sized model!

Get off Twitter and seizure your way back into whatever STD-infested gutter you crawled out of.

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via WENN.]

Avril Making Out With Mystery Man!

| Filed under: Avril LavigneCanadialandBrandon DavisLove Line

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We can't believe that someone other than Greasy Bear would have her!

Fresh out of her marriage, Avril Lavigne was spotted making out with some random dude at NYC's Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel on Tuesday.

We think slutty just met him that night!

The pair were surrounded by a group of friends as they sipped vodka and champagne. As soon as Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl began to play, Avril leapt on the poor boy and began to shove her tongue down his throat.

And then, they exchanged numbers!

clASS act!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

Avril Lavigne Is Hooking Up With…Wilmer Valderrama?

| Filed under: Avril LavigneLindsay LohanBrandon DavisWilmer ValderramaLove Line

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If this is true, we guess she didn't get too serious with Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis!

Avril Lavigne was reportedly spotted out several times with Lindsay Lohan's ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama.

After a first date near the end of October at Nobu they were supposedly getting chummy at LA club Wonderland over this past weekend.

A witness says:

"She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other's ear, laughing. They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2."

BARF!

[Image via Andres Otero / Joseph Marzullo / WENN.]

Hey, Remember Avril?

| Filed under: Avril LavigneBrandon DavisZ List

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D-Lister Avril Lavigne appears on the cover of Z-List magazine Savvy this month. We've never heard of it before either!

She looks HOrrendous!

And she's "learned what's important in life?"

Surely that can't include hard-pAArtying and shacking up with Brandon Davis?

Avril and Brandon Moving In Together?!

| Filed under: Avril LavigneBrandon DavisLove Line

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Oh BARF!

Recently separated Avril Lavigne is wasting no time in moving things right along with Brandon Davis.

The gruesome twosome were spotted house hunting in Beverly Hills and the Hollywood Hills just this week. Avril is selling the home she shared with ex Deryck Whibley and well, Davis still lives at home in Bel-Air.

What a winner!

A source reveals, "She and Brandon aren't sure where the romance is headed. But Brandon has never lived with a woman before, so it's a big commitment on his part."

Please, these two are just destined to crash and burn.

We're eagerly waiting on the edge of our seats!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]