Tracey Ullman skewers everybody's favorite momager, Dina Lohan, in her new Showtime series, State of the Union.

Click here to check out the clip!

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How hot is that old bitch???? And by old bitch, of course we mean Alian Lohan.

But Grandma's a sexy piece of ass too! We'd do her! Just take her dentures out and she's ready to go!

Orange Oprah took the Ladies Lohan out in Manhattan on Thursday to film their new E! reality show.

Now that Dina is pimping out Granny, the old hobag needs to learn to bend over and take it.

Fame isn't everything it's cracked up to me, abuelita!

How many times you think Grandma Hohan has been in rehab??????

[Image by Christopher Peterson via Buzz Foto.]

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Lindsay Lohan and her 14 year old sister, Ali, were spotted dancing and partying it up in Linds' new NYC penthouse last week.

Where did Linds' get the $? We thought she was having money issues.

Momager Orange Oprah stopped in but wasn't allowed to shoot her E! reality show at Linds' new pad. You know she was pissed!

O squared peaced out after 20 minutes.

La Lohan supposedly kept it clean around her lil sis and only drank bottled water.

Lindsay's daddy, ex-convict Michael, has said that she's a silver screen star and reality TV is not for her.

E! must be pissed they're getting no Lilo.

[Image via WENN.]

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When you look old enough to be your mom's sister, you know something's seriously wrong!

Little Angie Harmon Ali Lohan attended a screening of High School Confidential in NYC this past week.

They both look like coked out Long Island housewives!

How old do you think Ali is???

The answer still surprises us!

CLICK HERE to find out the future rehab-er's age!

[Photo via Getty Images.]

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Oh, how we've missed her!!!

We love Dina Lohan more than Lindsay loves coke and Spencer & Heidi love staged photo ops.

That's a lot of love!

Our favorite momager in Hollywood - by way of Long Island - is speaking out about her daughter's recent and headline-grabbing nude shots for New York magazine.

As usual, half of what she says is nonsense and the other half is bullshit. But it's all intoxicating, though!

Says Orange Oprah:

"t was very tastefully done. I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother. Trust me, I wouldn't have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there, that was risqué. Lindsay was very excited when she first got the phone call. Of course we talked about how they would be done. Lindsay said, 'Mommy, I'm never going to get this opportunity to do it again.' She was very thankful she was asked. She's always loved Marilyn," Dina says. "For Christmas, my girlfriends even gave her a Marilyn cookie jar. I think there's a sadness that Lindsay feels for Marilyn. Lindsay really saw it as a gift back to someone. Lindsay did 250 crunches before because she was nervous since she had never done anything like that before."

Such a supportive mom!

CLICK HERE for the uncensored LiLo pics.

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We don't need no stinking YouTube! A monopoly is never a good thing, so fuck 'em. We're doing it on our own, and….

You MUST watch the video above. Must. Must. Must.

Geniusity!!!!

Happy HOlidays everyone.

xoxo

Your friend, Perez

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We LOVE the Lohans!!!!!

While Lindsay has remained remarkably mum since her return to Los Angeles, her parents will vomit verbal diarrhea to anyone that will listen at any opportunity given.

Of Lindsay's 84 minute stay in jail on Thursday, Dina says:

"Lindsay has been given a new start and will put this behind her. She is focused on educating others of the dangers of drinking and driving."

Fabulous. Great.

But did we really need to hear that????

Why can't the Lohans just shut the eff up????

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Whether you like it or not, Dina Lohan is coming to TV.

And we can't wait!

Must-watch trainwreck television, it promises to be. We need another Hey Paula, don't U?

We wanna see the real Dina. They dirty Dina. We'll probably get some sugar-coated bullshit, but if she wants a hit - she's gotta show the shit.

"There are so many misconceptions about me and my family. I’m setting the record straight," Dina tells People.

And, yes, Lindsay will be making a cameo or two, says Orange Oprah.

“Lindsay is a family member and will lend a helping hand if [little sister] Ali asks her, when she’s in the recording studio," she shares.

Judging by Dina's pitch, though, the show promises to be a snoozefest.

"It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers," she pontificates. "About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income. It won’t just be following my family around like other shows. It’ll show me cultivating careers, going to soccer practice. I’m a big supporter of domestic violence charities, so they’ll show that. Then they’ll show [”my son”] Cody at soccer practice. Ali going to school and in the studio. It’ll encompass everything. You’ll see me having five business meetings in the city."

Sounds like a recipe for disaster!

They better have Michael Lohan on the show too!

Dina and her clan start taping next week in Long Island and NYC. The show will air on E!

"We want it just to be real," she concludes. "It’s okay if it’s not as crazy as the tabloids make it."

It better be crazy!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

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It was only a matter of time!

Dina Lohan is denying OK! magazine's report that Lindsay fired her as her manager.

"Dina remains Lindsay's manager and, more importantly, her mother," says her publicist.

Bummer. That bitch needs to be fired.

Team Daddy! Michael Lohan all the way!

Update: Michael Lohan tells TV's Extra:

“I don’t know anything about it at all. I don’t get involved in Lindsay’s business dealings. I want to be there as her father and hope Dina can be there as her mother as well.”

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OK! magazine is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is furious with her mother and has fired her as her manager.

Daddy's in and mommy's OUT!

It’s official: Lindsay Lohan is cleaning house, and she’s doing so by removing the negative influences from her life, starting with her #1 enabler: her mother, Dina!

In her first interview post-rehab, Lindsay exclusively spoke to OK! and told us she was cutting out former party pals like Samantha Ronson and Britney Spears. Lindsay is no fool – she realized that the road to recovery should start without mom.

“Lindsay fired Dina as her manager,” an insider reveals. “She is LIVID about all this press her mom is doing on this NYC apartment that she’ll never even live in, Dina even gave Access Hollywood a tour of the apartment 2 nights ago” The source adds that Lindsay plans on staying in Utah, close to the Cirque Lodge rehab center, but will remain bicoastal in order to maintain a normal lifestyle filled with both friends and films.

“I am doing my best to surround myself with good people who have their hearts and minds in the right places,” Lindsay told OK! “That’s what I plan on doing.” Dina, apparently, is not one of those people. The elder Lohan has long been under fire for taking on the role of party pal as opposed to mother, and picking loser roles for Lindsay as her manager in films like “Just My Luck” and “Herbie: Fully Loaded.”

That’s right – blink and you missed them. Thus are the results of bad motherly and manger advice.

What will become of Dina without Lindsay to fall back on as her bread and butter? Dina recently made Lindsay a sacrificial lamb when she signed a six-episode reality show deal for E! by promising that Lindsay would star alongside her. “No one wants Dina without Lindsay” the source tells OK! flatly. “They tolerate her simply to get to Lindsay – the REAL star in the family. When Lindsay found out about the show she went mad at her mother. She is upset her mom would use her name and sign off on paperwork involving her career without even consulting her. The two haven’t even spoken in weeks except to fight.”

As Lindsay weeds out the negativity in her life, one can only hope she’s truly on the path to recovery. As she told OK!, “Everything is different when you have a clear mind and focus on the right things.”

Are you listening, Dina?

And we expect Dina's denial…..NOW!

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