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Who Do People Want To Read About The Most???

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It's a celebrity cover face-off!

Who's face do people want to buy?????

Forbes magazine conducted a survey to determine the best celebrity face.

They gathered data from People, Star, US Weekly, In Touch Weekly, Life & Style and OK! over a year long period ending June 30th and eliminated covers that did not feature one celebrity exclusively.

The data was analyzed in terms of issues sold as compared to each magazine's average newsstand sales, number of full magazine covers, and each star's "likability," as determined by E-Poll Market Research.

Now, we're going to reward you for reading through all that statistical jargon and tell you who earned the number one position out of ten.

Ready?

It was none other than one-third of the Holy Celebritrinity: Angelina Jolie.

(The other two parts are, of course, Brad Pitt, with the kids counting as one.)

Our Lady of Perfection won in all three categories: sales, number of covers, and likability.

The world just loves a Madonna-Former-Whore.

Jennifer Aniston came in second, falling from last year's first place. She also averaged well in all three categories.

We guess people like to hear her whine about her relationship problems after all.

Heath Ledger rounded out the top three positions, one of only two males in the top ten. His third place can be attributed to his untimely demise, with magazines offering answers to his still mysterious death. It seems that the world also loves a good tragedy, because Owen Wilson finished up the list at number ten, with readers' interested piqued by his suicide attempt.

Suri Cruise and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt represented the under-ten players, coming in at 7th and 8th place, respectively. People really love those Jolie-Pitts.

New mothers Nicole Richie and Jamie Lynn Spears came in 5th and 4th, both with impressive sales, but low in likability, knocking down their scores.

Surprisingly, Jessica Simpson made the list at 6th place. But, only because her face is plastered everywhere because otherwise she ranked pretty low in likability. In fact, it's probably only because people despise "Yoko Romo" for dragging down their precious Tony Romo and his football team.

So that leaves one spot less and who got it?

Publicity-humping Heidi Montag came in 9th. But with all of her and boyfriend Spencer's freakin coverage, are you really that surprised? And that's the only reason she was in the top ten at all, because girlfriend is almost as disliked as Britney Spears, which is not to say that BritBrit is hated. It's just that with a tabloid headline almost ever other day covering some crazy antic or another, people get tired of it.

But, the very least likable celebrity was our own fave Slutty Cyrus, despite her near billionaire status.

And why is that?

"Here is a teenager who's quickly becoming a multi-millionaire, if not a billionaire. It's pretty hard to relate to that," says In Touch Weekly editor Michelle Lee.

And relatability is becoming increasingly important in magazine sales as wallets become increasingly slender. The mags have about five seconds to catch your attention as you stand in line at the super market, wondering what the hold up ahead is, and if you're going to shell out the 4 bucks for a mag on top of that already escalating grocery bill, it better be something you really really want, right?

So be prepared to see a lot more Jolie…unless the mags jump the shark and commit another Britney overload.

[Images via WENN.]

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One Last Hurrah - Doing It Spears Style!

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So fitting for a Texas girl!

We kid, we kid.

Ashlee Simpson celebrated her 24th birthday on Friday - white trash style - with hubby Pete Wentz, friends and family.

A party-goer revealed to Life & Style magazine, "They had people come over in costume and dress up in white trash. Wife-beater tank tops, jeans, trucker hats, mullets, - the works. And a lot of beer. Some were drinking beer out of paper bags. It was really hysterical."

We're sure it wasn't hard for sister, Jessica, to put together an outfit for the party!

The source assured the mag that Asslee kept far, far away from the beer.

How very un-white trash of you, Ass!!

The insider also snitched that Ass and Pete were also talking heavily about getting an NYC residence, to get out of LA and minimize the paparazzi experience and celebrity exposure for the baby.

Aw. Don't go!

New York can be bad, too!

[Image via WENN.]

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What's She On???

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Dazed and confused!

C-lister Jessica Simpson makes a graceful exit as she leaves dinner at Madeo restaurant in Los Angeles on Wednesday night, accompanied by former ASSistant Cacee "Corn On The" Cobb.

Where's Ken Paves???

He's usually attached to her tit!

[Image via WENN.]

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Jessica Simpson Sucks, But We Knew That

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Time for a Red Carpet Suicide!

Jessica Simpson better hurry up and get pregnant or drive drunk or flash her vajayjay or at least go get lunch at The Ivy, because according to a scalding review of her concert in Canada on Thursday night, her "music career" is about as bright as Audrina Patridge.

Performing songs off her HOrrific new country album, Do You Know, to an audience who mostly earned their tickets through more than a few rounds of Black Jack, she paced the stage at the Colosseum at Caesars Windsor, delivering little stage presence and tedious commentary.

With her songs mostly unremarkable, she sang in "a voice that only occasionally found the right note" and even offered a cheesy plug when she advised women to run from an abusive relationship "in a pair of Jessica Simpson boots."

UGH.

She's got a long way to go before she's any country star because even in her home state of Texas she's known as "Yoko Romo."

[Image via WENN.]

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Putting His Beer Belly To Good Use

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Watch out Jessica Simpson!

Kid Rock is about to enter the celebrity beer marketplace.

The rocker is set to whore out a 'premium' beer in the spring of 2009.

Premium and Kid Rock. That's like so oxyMORONical!

One of the suits involved in the deal said, "Kid Rock is a reflection of great American rock-and-roll music and the American spirit, and we think we can create a beer in that same image. … There is no question in our mind that people will try a beer that Kid Rock will stand by and when they like it, a great and incredibly valuable trademark will be created."

Will u drank Kid's beer?

[Image via WENN.]

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Your TV is a Wonderland - John Mayer To Invade The Tube!

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Music, Jennifer Aniston, stand up comedy…TV host?

What else will the man try and fail at????

Rumor has it that John Mayer is in talks to host an Ed Sullivan-like variety show for CBS.

We guess that since Rosie O'Donnell just announced a similar show for NBC, CBS has got to come up with their own.

Of all the celebrities out there, why John Mayer???

Mayer has joked that he would like the show to feature interviews with ex-girlfriends.

Yeah, that made us roll our eyes too.

Although, we have to admit that it might be amusing to watch Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson share a couch, in addition to Mayer's trademark facial contortions.

He really should just stick to making music!

[Image via WENN.]

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This Is Painful


Jessica Simpson is a sweet, simple girl with a good voice, but….

She sucks live!

And that's putting it mildly!

CLICK HERE to watch her HOrrible performance on The View yesterday.

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The Video Jessica Simpson Doesn't Want You All To See!!!!


Sure, THIS is a publicity stunt, but……

It's fucking funny!

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Fill In The Blank

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Diane Sawyer is looking at Jessica Simpson and thinking to herself "____________."

[Image via WENN.]

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