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Archive for the 'Lance Armstrong' Category

The Bicycle Thief Goes Down

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The man responsible for stealing Lance Armstrong's bicycle is heading to jail!

For three years!!!!

Lee Crider is looking at a solid three years behind bars at his sentencing in Sacramento next Monday. The bike thief pled no contest to burglary and theft for stealing the Tour de France champ's time trial bike along with two other bicycles back in Februrary.

Dung Hoang Le, the man who purchased the $10k bike from Crider for a measly $200 is also looking at 90 days in the slammer.

We believe in paying the time for the crime, but three years???

That's the same sentence as grand theft auto!

Chris Brown got off easy!!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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Lance Armstrong Biopic In The Works

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Columbia Pictures is forging ahead too immortalize Lance Armstrong in an epic biofilm. The project has been slow-going, but a recent addition may just breathe new excitement into it. Writer of such great films as Seabiscuit, Gary Ross has been hired to pen the script.

As for who will portray the iconic bicyclist, the latest rumor is Matt Damon, though no official casting has begun on the pic.

If you're looking to get a Lance Armstrong fix before the big flick, you might want to check in with the Tour de France next month, as Lance has come out of retirement to try for his eighth win of the tournament.

Maybe it's just us, but we think it might be too soon to be thinking about an Armstrong epic. He's not that old and could do something super cool while the movie is being made. Then what?

Place on the back burner, if you ask us.

[Image via WENN.]

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Hello, Max Armstrong!

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As we mentioned last week, Lance Armstrong announced the birth of his fourth child, Max Armstrong, via his Twitter page.

That's the first child for Lance and his girlfriend, Anna Hansen.

On Saturday, Lance and Anna were spotted leaving the hospital in Aspen with their newborn!

And by the look of things, little Max is one major cutie!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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Lance Armstrong Tweets Birth Of Baby Boy!

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Lance Armstrong announced the birth of his fourth child via Twitter on Thursday.

He Tweeted: "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!"

He added that the baby boy "weighed in at 7 lbs. 5 oz and is 20 inches long."

This is the first child for Lance and his girlfriend, Anna Hansen.

Congrats to the couple!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter.

[Image via WENN.]

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Lance Armstrong Reveals Why He And Sheryl Crow Broke Up

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In Lance, out in a couple of months, Lance Armstrong reveals why he and Sheryl Crow broke up, while also revealing a touch of douchebaggery.

Blaming her "biological clock," Armstrong says that he wasn't ready for Crow's pressure cooker uterus, saying, "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids."

He then adds, "Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one."

Yes, Lance, because you and your singular testicle are god's greatest gift to women.

Against all odds, Armstrong later anointed girlfriend Anna Hansen with his golden semen, as she is due next month with their baby.

[Image via WENN.]

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Drug-Free All Along!

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The French anti-doping agency AFLD has let cyclist Lance Armstrong off the hook!

Finally!

AFLD claimed Armstrong "did not respect the obligation to remain under the direct and permanent observation" because the Tour de France champ took a 20 minute shower before testing!

The agency has backed down, according to Lance's official Twitter:

Says the cyclist, "Just got the word from the French agency AFLD on the shower gate incident. Case closed, no penalty, all samples clean. Onward."

Now Armstrong can get back to training for the big race without distraction!

[Image via WENN/FayesVision.]

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Lance On The Defense! Armstrong Responds To Latest Doping Drama

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As we mentioned earlier, record-breaking cyclist Lance Armstrong is in the middle of some major drama with the French anti-doping agency AFLD due to a drug test he took last month.

Despite being found drug-free after testing, the douches at AFLD are claiming Lance "did not respect the obligation to remain under the direct and permanent observation" of the doctor!

The AFLD is still looking into a proper punishment, but many are worried they're trying to screw with Lance's shot of competing in this year's Tour de France.

As for Armstrong, he's had enough with the witch hunt. The drug-FREE cyclist is speaking out. He says:

"Outrageous reports yesterday coming out of France allege that I 'misbehaved' during a recent unannounced drug test performed by the French government while I was training in southern France in early March. This 24th test, which included a blood test, a urine test, and a test of a substantial quantity of my hair, was also negative. I returned home that day after a long training ride to find a man chasing me as I rode up to the house."

The problem started when Lance took a 20 minute shower while his manager, Johan Bruyneel, checked the stalker official's credentials. You can't just have any psycho putting needles into Lance!!!

Armstrong continued:

"I also had never heard of a laboratory (as opposed to an anti-doping organization) sending testers to collect samples. We asked the tester for evidence of his authority. We looked at his papers but they were far from clear or impressive and we still had significant questions about who he was or for whom he worked. I was there with Johan Bruyneel and two other people. We told the tester we wanted to check with the UCI to confirm who he was and to make sure he wasn’t just some French guy with a backpack and some equipment to take my blood and urine. Johan stayed with him and in his presence called the UCI to find out what was going on. We asked if it was OK for me to run inside and shower while they made their calls and the tester said that was fine."

And there you have it. Lance only left to shower after getting permission. But why would they send a lab jockey to do the tests?

Lance adds:

"I did not try to evade or delay the testing process that day. I had just returned from an all day training session, wasn’t sure who this French man at my home was, and as soon as the UCI confirmed that he was authorized to conduct the tests, I let him take all the samples he requested. I find it amazing that I've been tested 24 times without incident and the first test I do in France results in more outrageous allegations and negative leaks to the press. This is just another example of the improper behavior by the French laboratory and the French anti-doping organizations. I am sorry that they are disappointed that all the tests were negative, but I do not use any prohibited drugs or substances."

Leave Armstrong alone!

He's got another Tour de France to win!

[Image via WENN.com/FayesVision.]

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Armstrong In New Doping Drama!

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Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong has found himself in hot water with French anti-doping agency AFLD due to a drug test the world famous cyclist took on March 17th!

Even though Armstrong's hair, blood and urine were all found drug-free, AFLD is claiming that the world famous cyclist "did not respect the obligation to remain under the direct and permanent observation" of the doctor!

Uh oh!

The agency hasn't come to a conclusion on punishment for the cyclist, but with Armstrong currently training to ride in this year's Tour de France, the AFLD's sentence could put Lance's qualifications for the race in jeopardy!

[Image via WENN/FayesVision.]

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Men Responsible For Armstrong's Stolen Bike Have Been Arrested

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As we mentioned back in February, some douchebags stole Lance Armstrong's custom-painted Trek time trial bike in Sacramento.

They stole it the night before he was supposed to ride the bike in the first stage of the Amgen Tour of California. Three other bikes belonging to his teammates were also stolen.

Luckily, Armstrong's bike was found a few days later, but not in time for the tour.

The individual who turned it in decided to remain anonymous, and no facts surrounding how the person got possession of the bike were released.

But now, some good even better news! Two men in Sacramento have been arrested on charges related to the bike theft.

Sacramento police officers have arrested Lee Crider, pictured top left, and Le Dung.

Yes, his name is really Le Dung. (Let the shit jokes begin!)

According to the cops, Crider stole the bike from a rental truck and then sold it to Le Dung. However, Le Dung was the guy who then turned it in to the police four days later.

So why arrest him as well?

Inneresting.

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