That, Perezcious readers, is how we ended up in possession of this penis pic (above)!
[Image via Usher/Snapchat.]
Well, we're not sure if Lance Armstrong has quite learned his lesson.
In his first sit down interview since he talked with Oprah in 2013 about his doping scandal, Lance totally admitted that he'd probably cheat again if he were magically transported back to 1995, and given the chance to do it all over.
The cyclist had previously won seven Tour de France titles, only to have them all stripped from him after his doping offenses became public.
He is also banned from the world of professional cycling.
Here's what the once proud cyclist had to say on whether or not he'd cheat again to BBC Sport:
So… this happened.
Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong was sitting around playing Cards Against Humanity the other night when he drew a pretty coincidental card about himself!
We all know 2 things:
1. Lance’s scrotum has been single-occupancy since having to have a testicle removed following a cancer scare in the mid-90s.
2. Cards Against Humanity isn't the classiest game (and that's what makes it amazing).
Which is why him pulling out the card that said, “Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle,” is so HIGHlarious!
Looks like the whole gang is going down!
Even though the four-day hearing happened last December, the verdict wasn’t handed down until Tuesday, when they also gave the team trainer Jose "Pepe" Marti and doctor Pedro Celaya eight-year bans for the drugs.
As for Bruyneel, he knows his goose was cooked, and only added:
We’re kind of surprised he held onto it for this long!
When things went sour after their 2005 engagement, the couple split, but Lance apparently kept the wheels!
It’s been long enough though, and the disgraced cyclist reportedly actioned off the pimped out ride back in November!
It isn’t clear how much the GTO sold for, but RKMCCA Collector Car Auctions said they were planning on the sale price to be somewhere between $60,000 and $80,000, but wouldn’t say exactly what it sold for.
So, it's like Sheryl is still giving Lance presents almost a decade later! Isn’t life funny like that?!
We know, we thought it was an odd pairing at the time too! But while their romance isn't exactly news, a new tell-all book called Cycle of Lies by Julie Macur has some interesting new details on their fling!
The two hardly kept their relationship under wraps back in 2007 as they were spotted out and about multiple times, especially during their infamous hook up at the Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel where Ashley
If you've been caught cheating, you're probably in one of two camps — you're either really embarrassed and shameful, or you're pissed you've been found out and now you can't cheat anymore!
Anybody who ever thought Lance Armstrong was in the first camp was fooled by his early interviews, because according to a brand new set of responses from him, he's really really into throwing people under the bus and shifting blame because he saved the sport and did what he had to do! Or something like that!
Honestly, it's all so offensive that we have a hard time believing he'd choose to act like this after everything! Here's what he said about those who cheated alongside him and helped him on his cheating ways:
Ben Foster is such an underrated, underutilized actor — we are SO FREAKING HAPPY to see him in such a major role!
Seriously, he needs more work! Someone pair him up with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and have them act the shizz out of a movie, and the world will be forever changed!
The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding is totes the first image (above & below) of Ben as Lance Armstrong in Stephen Frears' untitled CYCLING PROJECT!
The pic was tweeted out today by StudioCanalUK and we know it's as legit as it comes! Plus, it was later shared by British cyclist David Millar, who is giving a helping hand to the project!
Trance's John Hodge wrote it based on the book Seven Deadly Sins: My Pursuit of Lance Armstrong, and it also has Chris O'Dowd and Jesse Plemons in major roles as well!
We can't wait! This is a BIG role for Ben, and we are sooooooo ready!!
[Image via Twitter/StudioCanal/AP Images.]