Lisa Rinna opened up about her terrible plastic surgery on the Today show Monday.

The "actress" claims that she started injecting silicone into her lips 23 years ago to look like Barbara Hershey in Beaches.

For someone so concerned about appearance, she sure knows how to date herself!

Supposedly, her lips begain to harden and the downturn began. "I do not blow up and down my lips," Rinna said.

No one cares!!

The "author" was promoting her self help book, Rinnavation.

What advice could she possibly have to offer?

"Don't use my surgeon!"?

[Image via WENN.]

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Famewhore Lisa Rinna is making the claim that her family had swine flu before that shiz was 'released' to the public.

"I believe we all, except for myself, had the swine flu at our house… We had it before it came out… We had it at our house, I believe, and everyone is fine," Rinna bragged to reporters.

She got an advanced copy of the virus, y'all!

We're so jelliez!

Rinna continued, "How do you know it's the swine flu? I don't know but we had all the symptoms."

The symptoms of swine flu, Lisa?

Fever, cough, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, myalgia, headache, chills, and fatigue.

…Also known as symptoms of the common flu.

[Image via WENN.]

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Just a few months ago, Lisa Rinna was positively begging for a spot on the upcoming Melrose Place reboot, but now the Botox Babe is singing a different tune.

Rinna told EW, "I don’t think I wanna go back anymore. Seriously, I watched some old tapes recently — Harry [Hamlin, her husband] and I were going through stuff. It doesn’t feel right! It feels weird. I’ve changed my mind. You can’t go back!"

Unfortunately, she's still hellbent on an acting "career," because she says she feels "like I have another great character in me. I think may be a Mrs. Robinson type. I’m gonna put that out in the universe. Third time’s a charm."

The only thing she has inside of her is silicone, Botox, and hot air - a lot of it!

[Image via WENN.]

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Collagen Lips must be blind!

The plastic-faced Lisa Rinna has spoken out about her upcoming spread in Playboy, in which the 45-year-old will let it all hang out!

"I'm 45 years old. I look good right now. Why not? Why not celebrate the beauty of the female body?" Rinna bragged to reporters on Monday night.

We could give you a hundred reasons why not!!

"I never feel more comfortable than when I am naked taking pictures," Lisa added. "I don't know what that's about. It's the craziest thing."

Vom!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

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Norway's Kurt Nilsen, Espen Lind and some friends performed the most breathtaking cover of U2's With or Without You on a recent talk show appearance.

Simple, beautiful, you will watch this on repeat a few times!

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Desperate much?

Former Melrose Place and Dancing with the Stars alum, Lisa Rinna, really wants a job.

In fact, she's even begging for one!

Hosting the red carpets on the TV Guide Channel is not enough???

Lippy Lisa really wants her old role back of Taylor McBride on the new Melrose Place spin-off.

In fact, she said in a recent interview, "Tell them I'm available, ready to go. I'm very professional and hardworking!"

At the moment, though, MP execs are going after Heather Locklear to return.

Rinna acknowledges she's not the most sought after of the group.

She says, "I'm way down on the totem pole. You know, this one doesn't want to do it, that one doesn't want to do it, so I'm just hoping that they get down far enough to me, where they're finally like, 'Oh, just call Lisa…Just hire her, for God's sake! Stop her begging!' "

Aww, kind of sad.

At least she's not delusional!

[Image via WENN.]

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Melrose Place and Dancing with the Stars alum Lisa Rinna hit the beach in the Bahamas with her family on Tuesday.

Not bad, Lisa!

Lis has admitted to sometimes overdoing it when it comes to "cosmetic enhancement."

How much do you think it costs to keep her toned and boobylicious?

Ya think she leaks???

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

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We have really bad news to report, y'all.

Collagen lips herself, Lisa Rinna, is posing for Playboy.

Barf!

They don't even pay that much anymore - so she must really be desperate.

Poor thing!

[Image via WENN.]

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According to the Hollywood Reporter, TV Land has ordered a pilot of a new "reality" show featuring Lisa "Lips" Rinna and her husband, Harry Hamlin.

The show will follow the lives of the former Melrose Place actress and LA Law star.

So it's a show where viewers get up close and personal with LA's plastic surgery community?

If the network deems the pilot good enough, you'll see the show in 2009, says a suit.

Botox away!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

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