And that would be putting it lightly!

Frances Bean Cobain took it upon herself and her Twerbose account (it allows you to post tweets longer than 140 character) to rip Aliana Lohan a new asshole.

We're not even sure what could have possibly sparked this 'open letter' to the younger Lohan, but it's awesome! And thankfully Frances is a hell of a lot easier to understand than her mom Courtney Love's ramblings.

Here's what she had to say:

This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.

Your not entitled to anything simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't fame. It's infamy. You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous. Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there. Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for your self. I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person, but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement.

Dayumm!!!

Wonder if Ali will have the balls to respond to this? And if not, we're sure Michael Lohan will have something to say.

Team Frances all the way!

[Image via Fame Pictures & WENN.]

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Somebody's feeling threatened!

Spencer Pratt is opening his mouth again saying that "Speidi is Barack and Michelle famous, not Kardashian famous. The fact that USA Today said we're the third most famous couple in the world after Brangelina and The Obamas is amazing."

Really?!

Pratt also goes on to burn former Hills co-stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge, saying that they both made huge mistakes for their careers by leaving the show.

He might actually be right about this one. He says of frienemy Lauren:

"Her ego ruined her life and her career — I pray for her every day and we'd all love for her to come back to The Hills when she realizes her move didn't work. She tried to put MTV over a barrel by demanding more money than God."

Point taken.

And Audrina?

"The day she can hold 22 minutes of content with her brain, is the day I'm walking on Mars with no oxygen tank barefoot. Unfortunately, Audrina will have to wake up from that dream soon!"

Ha! He might be King Douche, but he sure makes for some great sound bites!

[Image via WENN.]

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Heidi Montag Pratt gave quite the boobalicious interview to the UK's Closer magazine, talking mostly about her quest to have the perfect bod and her singing "career."

Here are some HIGHlights:

On getting ready for her Playboy shoot:
"I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny."

On her fake ta-tas:
"I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape."

On her highly-criticized Miss Universe pageant performance:
"I just ignore it. I know my skills and talent. I'd never performed in front of so many people, let alone a billion watching me on TV. Afterwards there was a lot of negativity on the internet, but I deal with it. It happens to everyone like me and I can only do my best and feel happy."

On husband Spencer's and her mother's strained relationship:
"It's been tough to handle. They don't get on at all. My mother and I are close but since Spencer's come into my world, it's been hard. Spencer's mother and I are inseparable, which is even harder for my mom. Hopefully things will get better over time."

On future Speidi offspring:
"I'd love children, but Spencer doesn't. Hopefully that will change though."

Oh, the dramz!

It sounds like she's hoping for a whole lotta change from Spencer's end.

Not sure how likely that is!

[Image via Jody Cortes / WENN.]

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We all know there's drama and jealousy on the set of MTV's The Hills.

But with this new piece of information leaked, we have a feeling there's gonna be a lot more behind-the-scenes drama.

Turns out the reality TV "stars" are making more per episode than many people make in a year.

But it's not an even scale.

Turns out troublemaker Kristin Cavallari is raking in $90,000 per episode! So you'd think the villains get paid more, right? Wrong. Bring in Spencer Pratt, and he's only making $65,000 per episode.

And that's nothing compared to Audrina Patridge's $100,000 per episode! Or Heidi Montag's close to $100,000 salary. Turns out Spencer is down at $65,000 since he joined only in 2008.

However, the top earner goes to former Hills star Lauren Conrad who was racking in $125,000 per episode ($2.5 million a year). Plus her contract demanded that no other star's salary could match hers while she was on the show.

Even sellout Brody Jenner is making some good cash. Jenner makes $45,000 per episode.

And that's what everyone's making not including their side jobs. Like fashion lines, books, music singles, and paid appearances.

Craziness!

Let's hope they're all investing wisely. Some of them will most likely not have another paycheck after The Hills.

[Image via WENN.]

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag never cease to be resourceful!

Sensing that the Kardashians are smoking them at their own mediawhoring game, The Hills stars are grasping at straws. Woof woof!

We mentioned earlier this month that the newlyweds were the proud parents of a little Maltipoo puppy.

Spencer bought the pup for Heidi's 23rd birthday. And the duo named the pooch Dolly, after, who else, Dolly Parton.

But now Spencer confirms they're getting ANOTHER dog!

The couple will soon be welcoming a new black Maltipoo named Inky.

Spencer reveals, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja! We felt that Dolly wanted her brother, [and] we're having issues sharing Dolly."

Heidi added, "And Spencer wanted a boy. He says Dolly is too girly!"

Heidi even hinted to it last week when she posted on her Twitter, "I love my puppy so much I want another one!"

We're waiting to see pictures of the new family once Inky arrives. But knowing the Pratts, they'll probably try to sell the photos exclusively to some mag.

Gots to bring in that money!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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We can all thank Kristin Cavallari for creating Hollywood's biggest fame-whoring couple, who will forever be known as Speidi!

While talking with Dan Levy, host of The Hills Aftershow on MTV Canada, Kristin apologized for introducing Heidi Montag to King Douche Spencer Pratt.

"I want to apologize to everybody," she said. "I had no idea what it would turn into."

Even though the apology is a little late, at least she's owning up to her deed. Unfortunately, the world now has to live with it.

Maybe she can finish what she started and break them up before they reproduce? We're sure MTV could write that into the script!

[Image via WENN.]

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PETA, stand by!

As a gift for Heidi Montag's 23rd birthday yesterday, husband Spencer Pratt bought her a 9-week old puppy!

They are gonna whore that lil' thing all over town!

"Spencer gave me the best gift ever, a maltipoo puppy that we have named Dolly," Heidi gloated.

The dog is named for country singer Dolly Parton!

"I'm so excited today is my birthday," she continued. "Thank you, God, for every moment you have given me and blessing me with my wonderful husband."

First order of business: Teach Dolly to fetch the New Testament!

[Image via WENN.]

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Spencer in another Twitter war???

No, really????

He's starting to sound like Perez! Hey, he learned from the best!

The famewhore already picked a fight with Ryan Seacrest earlier this week, so Spence had to set the bar a little lower for his latest feud! Brody Jenner's girlfriend, Playboy "model", Jayde Nicole!

King Spencer first sent a Tweet to Brody:

"@brodyjenner you NEED to get back together with Kristin Cavallari ASAP!!! Best couple ever to double date with!!"

Which, of course, got Jayde all riled up:

"@spencerpratt are you kidding me? Could you be any more of a rude and disrespectful human being. What do you guys think?"

We think you're giving Spencer the reaction he wants out of you, hun!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via WENN.]

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And it's only the finest costume store bought crown money could buy!

You didn't expect the soon to be King Spencer Pratt to legally change his name and not have a crown to back it up did you?

The King Douche, with scepter in hand, and plastic wife Heidi Montag at his side, took time out from his battle royale against Ryan Seacrest, to walk among the peasants at The Roosevelt Hotel pool in Hollywood on Wednesday.

Those peasants should feel honored to be in the presence of royalty!

[Image via Kevin Perkins/Pacific Coast News Online.]

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