Star Jones is actually close to landing a new gig!

According to InTouch, Jones is being wooed by the producers of Celebrity Apprentice to join the cast.

We hope it happens!

You know Jones would totally lock horns with the Donald!

Plus, we're starting to feel bad for Starzilla and her disappearing career!

[Image by Christopher Peterson via buzzfoto.com.]

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When Star Jones is looking better than you, you're doing something wrong!!!

Sharon Stone brought out her tranny regalia for the amFAR benefit in Cannes on Thursday.

Starzilla, on the other hand, looked elegant and movie star-like.

We need Barbara Walters to kick us in the head cuz this shit ain't right!

[Photos via Getty Images.]

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Star Jones looked pretty damn good at the Indiana Jones premiere in Cannes on Sunday.

We still have no idea what the eff she was doing there, but at least she looked halfway decent!

Maybe Starzilla just wanted to escape all the "drama" back home?

Big Gay Al is reported to be shopping a tell-all interview to the highest bidder about his time with Jones.

Shit, the one who should be doing the tell-all is Star!

And that one night she came home early unannounced and…..

[Photo via Getty Images.]

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Star Jones better watch her back. A knife is about to be stabbing her!

Big Gay Al is shopping around a sit-down TV interview about his time married to the former fattie.

He's gonna "tell all" and…he wants to get paid!

B.G.A. is said to be holding out for the highest bidder. "He's been looking for a six-figure deal for an interview where he dishes about being married to Star," says one TV insider.

That's not very gentlemanly, but it's smart! Big Gay Al's gotta get paid, y'all.

Some shows are interested in a chat, but only if he is really willing to part with some dirt.

No one wants to pay for it, though.

We're sure Al and Star have a pre-nup. We're surprised that Star didn't include some sort of confidentiality agreement in there!

Maybe this is all a ploy for more money???

B.G.A. probably hopes Starzilla will agree to pay him more alimony if he keeps his mouth shut!

[Image via WENN.]

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Star Jones (or a really good drag queen) attended the premiere of Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona at the Cannes Film Festival on Saturday.

Why the fuck was she there??????????

Next time, she should get some colonic irrigation before she walks down a red carpet.

Then her face won't look like she needs to take a big dump (all over Big Gay Al's head)!

[Image via WENN.]

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Star Jones is so desperate for work that she's resorted to THIS!

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Barbara Walters' memoir, Audition, has debuted in the #1 spot of the best seller's list.

Babs sold 250K copies in the first week alone, and she's already shipped out 1 million copies.

This proves that sex sells…even old people sex!

Did y'all buy the book to read about Bab's frolicks with that Senator guy?

Hearing about it via the Oprah interview was enough for us!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

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Al Reynolds is misunderstand, y'all.

The soon-to-be former Mr. Star Jones was us to pity him! Boo hoo.

B.G.A. has just posted a big gay rant on his official MySpace.

This is what he has to say:

"Dear Friends: If you think you are having a tough day, may I propose you walk in my shoes for a few hours. In my mind, it feels like “Dump on Al Month.” And I’m not having fun yet. I have been called a gigolo, a freeloader, unemployed, a sham and many other things that don’t bear repeating. People on television, radio and the internet have spoken disparagingly of my life, my sexuality, my career and my integrity. The media has barraged me (at my home), my friends, my family(including my 79 year old mother), my college classmates, my students and my professional colleagues. Yet, despite this intense level of provocation, I have said nothing. My Publicist has put out a one sentence statement: “We’re taking the high road.” And we have and will continue on that path. As much as I want to defend myself, it seems like a silly and futile exercise. It’s clear that the media doesn’t want to let the truth get in the way of a good story. I hate to ruin their fun. I take great comfort in the fact that my loved ones and those people who really know me continue to love and respect me. Thank you “all” for the endless emails, phone calls and words of encouragement. I know in my heart that I entered my marriage with love and the best of intentions and leave it with great sadness that it didn’t work. What the world doesn’t know about me would fill a book, but I know who I am and what I have achieved in my life. Before I met Star Jones I was a successful Wall Street banker and since then I have become an entrepreneur, an educator and soon, an author. I grew up in a working class home, a mobile home in fact. I understand the struggles of the working class. My mother was a teacher and my father was in the military. I was given values, integrity and a strong moral upbringing (thanks mom and dad). In these hard economic times, I am working to take my knowledge and experience of the business world and use it to empower and enlighten working class Americans who are often ‘left behind’ by traditional financial advice. I educate inspiring young men and women at Florida Memorial University, a historically black liberal arts university in Miami, Florida. I continue to follow my entrepreneurial spirit in the world of business and investment while completing my doctorate in Organizational Leadership. So I indeed work very hard as a professor, business owner, doctoral student and author. I play hard too. I make no apologies for that. A guy is entitled to a little fun, after all. What I want people to know is that I am not the caricature portrayed by the media. I am complex, contradictory and capable of great intelligence but also remarkable stupidity. In other words, I am a human being. To me, labels are for clothes, not people. So…..Please don’t try to define me; don’t try to categorize me; and most of all, don’t label me. Instead, JUST GET TO KNOW ME. And if you see me, just call me Al."

Thoughts?????

[Image via WENN.]

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While Barbara Walters only had nice words for Rosie O'Donnell on Larry King last night, The View matriarch wasn't as forgiving with Star Jones!

Click here to see what Babs had to say about Starzilla!

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