Here's what Amy's email said
[Image via Instagram.]
Yep, it's that time of the week again! How time flies!
Unfortunately, we're all about to have some stinky ass breath here if the nuptials are delayed any longer! Reports have surfaced, revealing their plans to push for a Winter wedding instead of the sexy Summer one they intended on originally.
And while the official reasoning is work schedules, the gossip ’round these parts have us worried!
BUT ON TO LABOR PAINS…
The majority of tabloids have Kim Kardashian's perfectly kontoured face on their covers, all of which you see below.
While we'd love to sing you songs of bunnies and unicorns, each cover screams DRAMA. DRAMA. DRAMA!
According to several sources, Kimmy K had a harder time in the
Babies, babies, babies!!
2013 is the year of the newborn!!
Could you effing imagine?? LOLz!!
Talk about a frenzy! That would be one of the biggest pop-culture kabooms in history!!
…we kinda hope it happens! ;)
BUT OVERSHADOWING THE JOYS OF PREGNANCIES IS…
That controversial new report of Kanye West's unfaithful ways!
As we're sure you all know by now, a Canadian model has come forward to dish on the affair she found herself involved with while Kimmy's been nourishing Yeezy's growing unborn babeh!
We find the whole thing ickier than a placenta on a plate!
MEANWHILE, IN WEDDING WORLD…
Brows continue to raise around Jennifer Aniston's wedding.
Fearful of another impending
Dayum, these rumors just don't stop!!
Kim's gonna pop that little baby out without Yeezy holding her hand!
Yeah, we don't want to believe this one, either. Not only has Kanye always shown affection for family, it would be REALLY effing sh*tty for him to pull something like this…
Even if the rumors of fizzling feelings ARE true!!
SO LET'S MOVE ON…
Damn, that was quick! Guess our invite got lost in the mail, LOLz!!
We're sure this is totally legit. We mean, his failure with Demi Moore probably isn't scaring him at all!
BUT IN NOT SO HAPPY NEWS…
This real housewife might be slamming the rumors down, but they sure are strong, huh??
New Jersey's Teresa Giudice might not wanna believe
Are they? Aren't they?
Of course, we'd love to have a rep's comment to verify everything, but Miley's mood with the media leads us to believe she won't be allowing any personal shares any time soon!
SO LET'S MOVE ON…
Their cover photo of the pregnant reality queen isn't exactly the most flattering, and they also report that she's undergoing plastic surgery with lil' Kimbryo still inside! WTF!
Really!?! Nooo wayyyy. We'd hope not anyways!
AS FOR ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD MOTHER…
As we've been discussing for a while now, Katie Holmes' heart seems
While we HIGHLY suspect the legitimacy of this rumor, it would definitely make for one of the biggest celebrity sh*t-shows of all time if one of the world's biggest musical artists was fooling around with a man while his superstar girlfriend carried his child!
AHEM… MOVING ALONG…
People are making a big deal about Katie Holmes' weight.
But we don't guess it bothers her since they were making an even bigger deal about her marriage to Tom Cruise and their Scientology affiliations for five whole years.
In all seriousness though, she does look
All right. We surrender.
It seems the Kardashians will forever reign as the Queens of the Tabs!
We just can't fight it anymore! LOLz ;)
And though we've already discussed Kim's glorious bikini body (the preggerz edition), it seems only fitting that we crown her as this week's Tabby Queen as this cover is DEF the most talked about right now.
She's been the victim of A LOT of 'fat jokes,' but this photo is evidence to the contrary as it seems her tiny frame is doing just fine with a teacup human inside!
Gurl just needs the hook-up on a great stylist…
The Teen Mom brand has basically been re-branded as Teen Monster by Ok! magazine. You know, for their jail,
Once again, the Kardashians have monopolized the tabloids.
On one cover, we see a slimmer Khloe Kardashian flaunting her seXXy bikini body, sans 30lbs!
But the WORST this week is the cover about a woman alleged to be their former nanny, who's 'revealing all' by spreading salacious tales about "teen sex romps" in the parents' bed!
This supposed nanny also insists she witnessed years of cruel mind games and violence, and reports that Khloe endured harsh verbal abuse from her mother over being chubby.
Umm… didn't this JUST happen?? But with Robert's widow??
Pshh… anything to make a buck, we guess!
For those of you who enjoy a little darkness in your day,